Essential The Locker Room's Random Thoughts
- Thread starter patscorpio
- Start date
-
- Tags
- life
Tenchi Ryu
Ashtray B!tch
Fukk sexy red gimme her mama ghat damn
Blown Moon
All Star
I forgot to put on deodorant last weekend and hit a trail. I was out there musty like a middle school kid. I couldn't believe it when I came to the realization it was me.
Working out outside smelly is normal to me. You hit a trail, park, court, etc you're not gonna smell like roses after the workout but must is something I haven't experienced in damn near 2 decades. Embarrassing, but I laughed at myself out there trying to minimize waftage.
Working out outside smelly is normal to me. You hit a trail, park, court, etc you're not gonna smell like roses after the workout but must is something I haven't experienced in damn near 2 decades. Embarrassing, but I laughed at myself out there trying to minimize waftage.
Amo Husserl
Superstar
A fool plays the greatest trick when he fools himself.
But a fool is still a fool if he fools himself without learning the trick he fooled himself with.
That's the trick that make a fool different from a wise fool.
But a fool is still a fool if he fools himself without learning the trick he fooled himself with.
That's the trick that make a fool different from a wise fool.
TELL ME YA CHEESIN FAM?
I walk around a little edgy already
I almost forgot how depressing these First 48 episodes are
I just wrote in my journal just now and im FINALLY going to answer what the problem with this statement and going to use this as a PRIME EXAMPLE of what the problem is
You see everybody. I was born with a condition where i literally have to fight myself in order to function in the world. Its so deep that i literally get frustrated, depressed and a whole bunch of emotions dealing with that alone. I feel like living in the world today. There are a lot of selfish people who basically are asking shyt from me where i must cater to them and what they want. They think i must kiss their ass. I must smile or make them fukking comfortable with themselves when I come around. Im treated as if i dont exist if im of no use of them but even with that, theres this SELFISHNESS where they think that they can control me where if im told "why are you smiling?", "why are you here?", "why do you do this or that?" Im literally told by other people when im around them what the fukk to do. However, they feel they have the right to do whatever they want with no regards to me. They can ask me and think its more job to do shyt when they need it out of me. Everything from attention to even when it comes to how i use my body, they think they have a right to do so out of me. As someone who already has a condition dealing with social skills, i already am at a loss as i dont know how to communicate with people so im literally freestyling. No one understands so no one is going to teach me shyt about social cues, socializing and blah blah blah.
See the problem with, @™BlackPearl The Empress™ response is that she in her mind thinks that i should put myself aside to understand her viewpoint where i must disregard mine and shes not even willing to understand what i said. Notice that when i said what i said, she dismissed it and doubled down on it after i responded like i MUST understand her and disregard how i feel.
And you know what, thats the shyt that makes me not want to deal with people period. I guess being autistic means i can see the selfishness in others in certain aspects they dont see and recognize within themselves like i recognize in her and what she said. She may not see it or understand what i said but personally, from her response, i more than likely wouldnt feel comfortable open up to her or having a conversation with her about anything to be honest.
seeing what she wrote about her mom though i cant really judge, im inclined to see that she herself may be playing a role in that situation where she may be apart of the problem. im already a guarded individual as it is. Hell, i cant even have certain convos with my immediate family because its the same selfishness. Its all about them. I dont feel like dealing or being around selfishness people period. They make me feel worse than i already do with myself so i would rather be seen as useless since i cant be used for whatever purpose and ignored as if i dont exist. I dont mind being alone. It sucks a bit but you know what thats better than people seeing me as shyt thinking im supposed to LIVE my life for them when they feel like they need me or want me for something.
I have a few people who i can even talk to without feeling uncomfortable and even fewer who even are willing to understand me or provide what i NEED from them if ask which includes help. Hell, honestly, the last part i cant honestly say. I dont like asking for shyt from anybody to be honest. If i could do shyt myself, i wont bother anybody. I usually do things for other people to make them happy and to get them on their good side because its real easy to have haters or enemies without even asking. Im paranoid for a reason.
I would like to open up without that shyt having to blow up in my face.
You see everybody. I was born with a condition where i literally have to fight myself in order to function in the world. Its so deep that i literally get frustrated, depressed and a whole bunch of emotions dealing with that alone. I feel like living in the world today. There are a lot of selfish people who basically are asking shyt from me where i must cater to them and what they want. They think i must kiss their ass. I must smile or make them fukking comfortable with themselves when I come around. Im treated as if i dont exist if im of no use of them but even with that, theres this SELFISHNESS where they think that they can control me where if im told "why are you smiling?", "why are you here?", "why do you do this or that?" Im literally told by other people when im around them what the fukk to do. However, they feel they have the right to do whatever they want with no regards to me. They can ask me and think its more job to do shyt when they need it out of me. Everything from attention to even when it comes to how i use my body, they think they have a right to do so out of me. As someone who already has a condition dealing with social skills, i already am at a loss as i dont know how to communicate with people so im literally freestyling. No one understands so no one is going to teach me shyt about social cues, socializing and blah blah blah.
See the problem with, @™BlackPearl The Empress™ response is that she in her mind thinks that i should put myself aside to understand her viewpoint where i must disregard mine and shes not even willing to understand what i said. Notice that when i said what i said, she dismissed it and doubled down on it after i responded like i MUST understand her and disregard how i feel.
And you know what, thats the shyt that makes me not want to deal with people period. I guess being autistic means i can see the selfishness in others in certain aspects they dont see and recognize within themselves like i recognize in her and what she said. She may not see it or understand what i said but personally, from her response, i more than likely wouldnt feel comfortable open up to her or having a conversation with her about anything to be honest.
seeing what she wrote about her mom though i cant really judge, im inclined to see that she herself may be playing a role in that situation where she may be apart of the problem. im already a guarded individual as it is. Hell, i cant even have certain convos with my immediate family because its the same selfishness. Its all about them. I dont feel like dealing or being around selfishness people period. They make me feel worse than i already do with myself so i would rather be seen as useless since i cant be used for whatever purpose and ignored as if i dont exist. I dont mind being alone. It sucks a bit but you know what thats better than people seeing me as shyt thinking im supposed to LIVE my life for them when they feel like they need me or want me for something. I have a few people who i can even talk to without feeling uncomfortable and even fewer who even are willing to understand me or provide what i NEED from them if ask which includes help. Hell, honestly, the last part i cant honestly say. I dont like asking for shyt from anybody to be honest. If i could do shyt myself, i wont bother anybody. I usually do things for other people to make them happy and to get them on their good side because its real easy to have haters or enemies without even asking. Im paranoid for a reason.
I would like to open up without that shyt having to blow up in my face.
Last edited:
The BasedFather
Task Force
Wish I was back in California on the beach somewhere. Need to hurry and make this dream a reality 
The BasedFather
Task Force
If you need someone to talk to I’m here breh