The General Mills Chronicles.

[General Mills]

Saturday morning comes and I am skeptical. . Until I go outside and I see 40 or more guys outside waiting on the church vans. They were all like me. Guys who graduated from bootcamp within the last two or three weeks. I figured. . With this many heads this could be fun.

Next thing I know. . DAMN NEAR 12 VANS pulled up. All of them had a cac leaning out of window smiling smugly. They hopped out of the vans and they were so EXCITED!

One cornball cac yells out.

I am pumping the other sailors for info on this but it all their first time too. We hop in the vans and are out. We drive for a good minute. . Get to the church and we pull around back to this field. .

Aiyo. . These guys are good. They have

1. Uniforms
2. Cleats if you want them.
3. Electronic Scoreboard
4. Cheerleaders!! Some of the church girls were there cheering us on.
5. Three Refs
6. A 80 yard field with chalk markers
7. Guys working the chains!!

It was organized as fukk! They set up 10 teams and we had a full playoff schedule!! I cannot lie. The shyt was awesome how they did it.

It was a mix of flag and tackle football. Wideouts, and Running backs, and tight ends had flags. Basically anyone who would be running the ball. All the guys on the line. No flags. . It was real football.

Meaning. You could legit sack the QB! If you got to the running back behind the line of scrimmage you could tackle him too! Brehs you are not grasping how much fun this was.

They had a full graph that showed on the scoreboard with our team names. Wins and losses. The whole 9. On defense I played left outside linebacker. We were running a 3/4 D. So I got to rush the passer. First game I used my swim move I learned from Madden on the left tackle.

Looped around and got the sack!

 

[labelplant]

that shyt does sound fun

 

[General Mills]

We had some nikkas who played legit high school and college ball on a high level. They were also coaches for the squads. So we were diagramming and running legit plays! Got my second sack on a zone blitz. I tried to kill that cac qb.

On offense I played left guard and fullback on occasion. Our player coach played one year at Syracuse till he blew out his knee. This nikka had the oline pulling. We were blowing up linebackers on the line!

As a fullback I caught a L tho. Our qb was scrambling and in trouble. . He dumped it off to me and I was about 5 yards behind the los. . I caught it and turned around to run upfield and was. . . :

I had to sit out the next game. All in all it was great fun! My squad made it to the championship. . . But we lost to these fakkits dinking and dunking all the way down the field.

We played damn near all day! It was now dusk and we were TIRED!! They brought us into the basement of the church and were feeding us cookies and water and gatoraid n other snacks. We are all slumping in our seats. . so weary. . But we are Great time! Now I am ready to crawl in my bed and

One of the church guys stands up and says. Hey guys lets bring it in for a prayer real quick before we take ya'll to your church home for the night. . Church home???

 

[the next guy]

wow!! that's wild b

 

[labelplant]

really like this new cult story so far
to general

 

[Leasy]

Ctfu this bul general join a cult/homo ring lmfao.

 

[dennis roadman]

lmao..your new name is Tanya breh

 

[flea]

cant wait to read what happened next

 

[No Sleep]

Baited you in with some exciting games of football.

Oh can't forget the warm milk of cookies.

 

[General Mills]

One sailor speaks up.

Church home? What do you mean? Are we not going back to the base?

Church boy - Oh no. Remember the sign up form you signed? It states that you will be staying the night and going to church service in the morning.

Everybody is whoa! BUT. . .We were also tired as fukk. And we had no money on us for the most part. We were all broke kids just out of bootcamp. E1 and E2's. They bussed us here and we were way to far for a normal cab ride. None of us had to be back on base until monday. They had us.

There was some grumbling. . We had all been conned. But it is what it is. . The lil prayer session. . . Turned into psychological warfare!

Church boy - Ok. . Everyone who wants Jesus in his life come up to the front.

Me and about 20 other cats just sit there. Not that I dont want Jesus. I love God. But I felt they were being kinda pushy. Plus I was so tired. . .

They made it a point to literally berate us for not going up front! You dont want God? You dont need God? Who are you to turn away from his graces??

They would not let up! Now at this point I am being defiant out of spite. You are not going to punk me into accepting Jesus. Then then separated us and tried to gang up on us individually. I had three cacs in my face! YELLING AT ME TO ACCEPT JESUS RIGHT NOW!

One cac was so exasperated that I was not doing what they said he flipped his chair over.

 

[Cheercomp]

Anyone saved the Earthquake pt 1 story from ??? Damn it may be lost to us

 

[General Mills]

I am disgusted by this turn of events. I look and see more and more navy dudes giving in out of sheer exhaustion. They would NOT let up. We were in that basement for three hours or so. This is after running around playing ball since 10am. It is now 8pm. . We are hungry. . tired. . sore.. They were basically saying. . Unless you prayed with them it was going to be a long night.

I saw Navy dudes saying. fukk it. Yeah I will go up there. Get these dudes out of my face. . Now there are about 10 of us left who refuse to go up and let the cacs pray on us. 7 of the dudes were atheist. They POUNCED on them nikkas with no remorse. They brought out the big guns. .

They brought in a "elder" to cast out spirits.

Before this the atheist where making jokes and fukking with them. When this dude came in he was just so freaking creepy. It was no longer a game.

Now through this all nobody tried to body anybody. There was no fights. . They were just very good at letting you know your options were limited.

Us - I dont want to pray with you.

Them - Thats ok. You do not have too. But why would you not want too?

Us - We have a personal relationship with God already. Thanks.

Them - You do? Thats great! Come pray with us brother then!!

Us - Straight up. Can we leave now?

Them - Sure!! We are not keeping you here.

Us - Take us to the base please.

Them - I am sorry. Driving this late is against our church rules. You can have someone come get you or you can walk or you can call a cab.



They know damn well that none of us have cab fare. We are a good 50 minutes away from the base. cotdammit. It was all so demonic brehs. smh

 

[beenz]

man, @General Mills deserved that tiger uppercut. he cost dude half his pay for 3 months. I'd be mad as shyt too!

 

[General Mills]

Finally after hours they give up. Our "Church Families showed up at this point. They were the ones would be feeding and putting up the sailors for the night and also taking us to church in the morning.


My family was the Lockes. A husband, young kids, wife. Normal cac family.

They were going to take 5 of us. We get in their minvan and Tom (the dad) starts telling us his testimony. The one homie asks if he can just drive us back to the base. We are tired and honestly did not sign up for this.

Tom looks back at us while he is driving and he is -




Tells us that is not in the plan. . What tha fukk is this. . . . On the way there he tells us is a little. . different. They have some rules and customs that may be strange but they are the true way.

 

[Regular_P]

Church boy - Oh no. Remember the sign up form you signed? It states that you will be staying the night and going to church service in the morning.