The General Mills Chronicles.

[General Mills]

I get woken up at 3am!! I am shook!!! I fumble for the fork I had smuggled but it was just my breh waking me up for my watch. . He reported nothing weird had happened during his time. He wished me godspeed and he went to lay down.

I took over and I was on high alert. Satan was not getting past me. I am chilling in my chair for a bit and I was looking over the room. . CREEPY! They had multiple Jesus pictures up. But all of them seemed demonic. I soon find myself getting distracted from my prayers. . . Something was calling me brehs. Calling me. . telling me to leave the room. The whisper promised it would treat me soo good and it would be like heaven on earth. I knew it was demonic but the flesh is weak. I gave into a mortal sin. Gluttony.

I had to have another piece of Cobbler! It was I sneak out of the room. .Knife in hand. I am so scared!! But the hunger propels me to seek out the peaches and ice cream. I sneakily and silently blend in with the shadows. All senses are open!

I am in the fridge. . Peach Cobbler on deck! I have it cradled in nook of my arm like a brand new bambino. I creak open the freezer to grab the ice cream when I hear in a low voice. . " General?"



I fukking freeze. . It seemed like the voice came out of nowhere. . . I stay silent for a full thirty seconds. . Freezer door still open. . Cobbler in my arms. . I then decided to slowly close the freezer door. . I turned to face to freezer door when the light flicked on. . . I whipped my head around and every single light on the floor was now on. .

I dropped the cobbler and it shattered on the floor. .

 

[CantStop]

i'm shook brehs

 

[Sly Cookin]

this is terrifying

 

[Leasy]

Plays Unsolved Mysteries theme music

 

[General Mills]

I can feel the cobbler spattered all over my leg but I was focused on what be hurtling at me very soon. When the cobbler hit the floor it made a large ass noise. It was in a glass pan. . There was cobbler and glass everywhere.

I turn around. . boldly. I feel like I have gawd on my side.

Then I see the kid walk into the foyer holding what appears to be a My Buddy doll.

Satan Kid - Hey General. .What was that loud noise?

Me - ( in a voice barely above a whisper ) how did you turn all of those lights on at the same time. ( I have gripped the prayed up pocket knife. .its in my left hand but it is closed. )

Satans Kid - ( ignores my question ) Why are you down here in the kitchen. . Then he goes ooooooooo! And starts to run at me!!

I take off brehs. . The other way thru the dining room. I was not about that demonic life. I dip thru the dining room and hear him hit the kitchen and start to scream!

I am like oh noooooo! Its calling the other demons. I have a decision to make. . To my immediate right was the room with my brehs. Right next to that room was the room with the adult demons. To my left was the exit. The front door. If I went for my brehs. . There is a likelihood we would all be getting a dose of hellfire. If I went left I could probably make the door before the demon spawn. He was still hollering in the kitchen.



I ran to the outside door brehs and possibly damned my homies. I ran to the door. I can hear the parents door squeak open. .I put on a extra burst of speed. . Skid to a stop in front of the door. . Before I could open it the door FLUNG OPEN AND Mr. Locke was standing there with a bag in his hands looking at me like

 

[DallasTxRep]

I get woken up at 3am!! I am shook!!! I fumble for the fork I had smuggled but it was just my breh waking me up for my watch. . He reported nothing weird had happened during his time. He wished me godspeed and he went to lay down.

I took over and I was on high alert. Satan was not getting past me. I am chilling in my chair for a bit and I was looking over the room. . CREEPY! They had multiple Jesus pictures up. But all of them seemed demonic. I soon find myself getting distracted from my prayers. . . Something was calling me brehs. Calling me. . telling me to leave the room. The whisper promised it would treat me soo good and it would be like heaven on earth. I knew it was demonic but the flesh is weak. I gave into a mortal sin. Gluttony.

The
I had to have another piece of Cobbler! It was I sneak out of the room. .Knife in hand. I am so scared!! But the hunger propels me to seek out the peaches and ice cream. I sneakily and silently blend in with the shadows. All senses are open!

I am in the fridge. . Peach Cobbler on deck! I have it cradled in nook of my arm like a brand new bambino. I creak open the freezer to grab the ice cream when I hear in a low voice. . " General?"

I fukking freeze. . It seemed like the voice came out of nowhere. . . I stay silent for a full thirty seconds. . Freezer door still open. . Cobbler in my arms. . I then decided to slowly close the freezer door. . I turned to face to freezer door when the light flicked on. . . I whipped my head around and every single light on the floor was now on. .

I dropped the cobbler and it shattered on the floor. .

 

[DallasTxRep]

I can feel the cobbler spattered all over my leg but I was focused on what be hurtling at me very soon. When the cobbler hit the floor it made a large ass noise. It was in a glass pan. . There was cobbler and glass everywhere.

I turn around. . boldly. I feel like I have gawd on my side.

Then I see the kid walk into the foyer holding what appears to be a My Buddy doll.

Satan Kid - Hey General. .What was that loud noise?

Me - ( in a voice barely above a whisper ) how did you turn all of those lights on at the same time. ( I have gripped the prayed up pocket knife. .its in my left hand but it is closed. )

Satans Kid - ( ignores my question ) Why are you down here in the kitchen. . Then he goes ooooooooo! And starts to run at me!!

I take off brehs. . The other way thru the dining room. I was not about that demonic life. I dip thru the dining room and hear him hit the kitchen and start to scream!

I am like oh noooooo! Its calling the other demons. I have a decision to make. . To my immediate right was the room with my brehs. Right next to that room was the room with the adult demons. To my left was the exit. The front door. If I went for my brehs. . There is a likelihood we would all be getting a dose of hellfire. If I went left I could probably make the door before the demon spawn. He was still hollering in the kitchen.



I ran to the outside door brehs and possibly damned my homies. I ran to the door. I can hear the parents door squeak open. .I put on a extra burst of speed. . Skid to a stop in front of the door. . Before I could open it the door FLUNG OPEN AND Mr. Locke was standing there with a bag in his hands looking at me like

 

[No Homo]

These cliffhangers

 

[General Mills]

I blurted out fukkKKK and turned to move the other direction but tripped on the rug and fell. . I was skidding back on my rump like



I flipped around and turned to my brehs room and they had just busted out and were WTF IS GOING ON!!!

The parents room opened up and Mrs. Locke comes out and she is wiping sleep from her eyes. . The kid is still wailing in the kitchen. .Mr. Locke says in a stern voice. . GENERAL!! I flick open the knife then I RUN BACK INTO THE KITCHEN AND PROMPTLY SLIP ON THE COBBLER! I saw stars. . . . then darkness. Satan has cuffed me it seems.

I wake up and Mr. Locke is looking over me. . I push him away and jet to the front door and make a break for it! My brehs tackle me before I get there. Oh no they have been turned! I am fighting like a wild man. I elbow one homie dead in his eye and tried to break another one's fingers. . I scramble up and jet outside. . It was black as fukk outside. I run outside positive that satan is on my heels.

In my haste to make a getaway and save my soul.. I failed to notice the waist high hedges bordering the front porch.

I flipped ass over teakettle and managed to stab myself in the thigh with the knife. In my mind I thought I got tripped by a hobgoblin and a hoarde of Hades born were trying to rip away at my flesh and drag me to hell. I thought one of them managed to take a stab with a talon on my juicy thigh.

 

[Regular_P]

I thought one of them managed to take a stab with a talon on my juicy thigh.

Pause

 

[King Theo]

.......... finiiiiish!! hahaha

 

[General Mills]

I am HOLLERING AND SCREAMING LOUD AS fukk! I NEED HELP COTDAMMIT!

I am trying to get up but at this point I am kinda groggy. . I stumble to my feet and my brehs surround me talkinbout calm down Aiyo I am not falling for Lucifers lies. I start to buck but this time they all pounce on my ass.

I can feel the bite marks from the demons all over my back and my thigh was burning like fukk! I knew a demon has taken a chunk out. As I am hollering and trying to fight my way out of the grasp of my satan homies. . . I see neighborhood lights flickering on and people coming out of their homes.

Mr. Locke comes outside and he looks pissed! What is GOING ON GENERAL! I invite you into my home and because of you my son is hurt! I hear him still wailing in the background.


Here is what really happened.

They are a weird church. . And they have their share of problems. And they are known to kinda cuff sailors for a weekend. And they have been accused of being a cult. Its all over the web. In this instance though it was my own neurosis that caused me to flip.

Let Us Prey: Big Trouble at First Baptist Church - Chicago magazine - January 2013 - Chicago

First Baptist Church of Hammond Indiana Dr Jack Hyles

Many of us who were stationed in Great Lakes, Illinois have dealt with members of the First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana. The church was pastored for many years by Dr. Jack Hyles (1926-2001); the church also owns Hyles-Anderson University, a large Bible college in Hammond.

The website is Baptist City First Baptist Church

I recall having several encounters with the "Hammondites"; the men would approach us and invite us to load up on the bus to play football or basketball, which resulted in an overnight stay in Hammond. The guests who accepted the invite would be stuck in Hammond from Saturday night through Sunday afternoon, whether they really wanted to be in church or not. Fortunately, I was not inclined to travel with them.

When I was up in Great Lakes, running into the Hammondites was sometimes a source of entertainment. The young men, apparently students at Hyles-Anderson University, all seemed to speak from the same script:

"Would you like to go play some football with us?"

I politely declined the invite.

"I have a question for you. If you were to die tonight, would you go to heaven or to hell?"

I would share why I believed I was going to heaven. Sometimes the subject of baptism would come up.

"Oh, but that is not what Dr. Jack Hyles teaches...he teaches straight from the Bible!"

I would sometimes challenge them to read the scriptures and see if the Bible contradicted Dr. Hyles.

"Can I pray with you then?"

On one such encounter, I was in the barracks laundry room when one of the Hammondites approached me on this. When he asked me if he could pray with me, I looked him in the eye and shared with him that we do not perform our alms to be seen of men.

For many years, Hammond was never nice toward Christian Fellowship Church Ministries International (or probably any other oneness church) because of our stand toward Oneness and baptism in Jesus' name. L.R. Davis' dirty laundry didn't help things either.

However, in 1988, the church with "the world's largest Sunday School" asked for our help. The Navy was considering placing First Baptist Church off limits upon hearing allegations that the church had forced sailors into staying the whole weekend and pretty much "shanghaied" them. There were complaints also that Dr. Hyles was a control freak and First Baptist Church was considered a cult. CFCMI helped defend Dr. Hyles and thus protected their right to come on base and recruit sailors without too much hassle. First Baptist Church also modified their invitation to inform the sailors that the getaway was for a whole weekend, and that they needed to pack accordingly if they wished to attend. They were thankful to us at that time, but once L.R. got arrested and sent to prison, Dr. Hyles was quick to denounce him from his pulpit.

Looking back, I find it quite interesting how we (in CFCMI) would sit around in the fellowship hall and poke fun at the Hammondites for how they did business, but in reality we were almost identical to them in many ways.

At least I can say that Dr. Hyles lived a life free from scandal, and was true to his beliefs and his family. L.R. Davis and his cronies were not.

I know about this Church and college , it IS a cult. Stay away !!!

While serving as the pastor at Miller Road Baptist Church in Garland Texas, (one
of the most conservative, Fundamentalist churches in Texas) Dave Hyles advertised
for group sex in porn magazines. When he was brought before the church for his
misconduct, over a dozen women came forward to testify that he had seduced them.
And he's the prime suspect in the death of Brent Stevens, a child who was removed
from his custody because Brent suffered from 8 broken bones, all of which had been
left untreated (at the age of 15 months). Dave also put a gun to the head of his
first wife. A Detroit news station did a documentary that incldued reports on Dave
Hyles and his gross sexual misconduct, yet Fundamental Baptist Pastors (who claim
to believe and obey the Bible) have continued to have him speak in their pulpits.

Dave Hyles has been moved from one church and thrown out of three baptist fundamentalist
churches so far for gross sexual misconduct (in each one). His former church secretary
has been busted for prostitution and has the words "Dave's girl" tattooed into her thigh.

Now, once again, Dave is in a local church, his fifth. The church this time is First
Baptist of Jacksonville. ( what? he is here in Jville? )I have alerted the pastor, Jerry Vines, to no avail.
I have been assured the situation is under control. This, in spite of the fact that
the congregation knows nothing of this person being in their midst.

In spite of the fact that Dave has left a pile of ruined lives behind him in any
church where he has stayed, especially the lives of the children of the women who
he seduced and then abandoned (and yes, each woman thought she was his "one
and only"), Dave has been sent on to other churches without the congregations
being warned. When he was thrown out of his last church, Berean Baptist, in Orange
Park Florida, Pastor Tom Neal did not send Dave on. But now that Dave is in First
Baptist of Jacksonville, nobody has warned the congregation of this man's history.
And yes, Pastor Jerry Vines knows about this. I sent e-mails and made phone calls
to his personal assistant to warn him. Evangelist Tim Lee has let me know that
Jerry Vines knows about Dave and has rebuked me for being a "busybody". But most members of the congregation don't know about Dave.

First of all. .

1. The kid. . He had been on this kick of telling EVERYONE to be careful. Apparently he was doing a lesson in Pre K and they told him to always be helpful and tell others to be careful.

2. The trick with the lights. . When I snuck out the kid was going to the bathroom. He SAW me when I thought I was being sneaky. So he called out my name. They had a master light switch installed outside his room cause he is afraid of the dark. The switch turns on the dining room, living room, and kitchen light.

3. He ran at me cause he saw the cobbler on the floor. He started yelling cause he stepped on the glass and cut up his foot.

4. Mr. Locke had went out real quick to get some biscuits and gravy for breakfast at Walmart. He was coming back when I was running to the door.

5. He yelled at me sternly because I blurted out " fukkKK" and his kid was right there.

6. When I ran back into the kitchen I slipped on the cobbler and landed flat on my back and got cut up by glass. I was also "out for a minute. or so. When I came to I flipped the fukk out.

7. The brehs figured out the kid was hurt and I was overreacting. They tackled me but I hulked up on them.

8. As you know I stabbed myself with the knife and that further enraged and scared me after I flipped over the hedges.


9. Eventually the cops showed up and damn near the whole street was hovering around the front yard. A TV crew came too but they left when they heard the ridiculous story.

 

[Racked Up]

 

[CantStop]

 

[No Homo]