The General Mills Chronicles.

General Mills

More often than not I tend to take that L.
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Ok. . So now its the next morning. And the buzz around the ship is that something went down over night. . . Soon it leaks that a pot operation on board got shut the fukk down. . :ooh:

Me and Hump were concerned. . But still carefree. Afterall. . We had sold no weed. Only about 10 people knew about the steroids. 8 of them were users them damn selves.

The other two were two of the weed guys. .:wow: During the interrogation the fellas knew they :ufdup: Caught dead to rights. . and had weed on them. They gave their statements and they know they are going to be kicked out and do jail time.

Like a good cop. They leaned on those boys and figured. .Why not ask about any other activities while they are at it. :manny:

unto-others-01-1024.jpg


One of the guys volunteers that there is also a Steroid operation going on. . . :wow: Now the weed guys did not know anything about our operation. They had never even see us purchase the stuff. They knew nobody who bought it. They knew nothing. . . But they knew we talked about it. .

Now the only thing that saved us was that we had just sold the last bit that we had that morning. Actually right after breakfast. . And we were always careful to throw away any packaging and paraphernalia overboard. We did not trust it to just throw it in the trash.

Its the next night. . About 2 in the morning. I get woken up. . . By The Master Chief and two of his goons. Shining a flashlight in my grill. Making me get up and take a piss test bleary eyed.

Those cacs were smart. They want to get you when you are disoriented and in a deep sleep. . Then fukk with your mind.

Now im in a lil room with Master Chief looking at me sternly. And my Chief looking at me. . :obama:

Master Chief - :ufdup:

Me - :childplease:
 

General Mills

More often than not I tend to take that L.
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Master Chief - Tell us about the Steroids you bought in Amsterdam. :leostare:

Me -
images
Steroids?? Do I look like I do Steroids? :aicmon:

My Chief - We got you General. Your boys gave you up. We are searching your locker right now. :umad:

Me - :rudy: I have no idea what you guys are talking about.

Master Chief - CUT THE BULLshyt! WE KNOW ABOUT THE WEED. AND WE KNOW ABOUT THE STEROIDS. WE ALREADY GOT YOUR PEE TEST. SO YOU ARE fukkED. WHERE ARE THE REST OF THE DRUGS! :birdman:

Me - :smugdraper: I dont mess with drugs at all. I think you have the wrong guy. . ( inside I am :to: please Hump. .Stay strong breh. Dont crack. )
 

King Theo

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Master Chief - Tell us about the Steroids you bought in Amsterdam. :leostare:

Me -
images
Steroids?? Do I look like I do Steroids? :aicmon:

My Chief - We got you General. Your boys gave you up. We are searching your locker right now. :umad:

Me - :rudy: I have no idea what you guys are talking about.

Master Chief - CUT THE BULLshyt! WE KNOW ABOUT THE WEED. AND WE KNOW ABOUT THE STEROIDS. WE ALREADY GOT YOUR PEE TEST. SO YOU ARE fukkED. WHERE ARE THE REST OF THE DRUGS! :birdman:

Me - :smugdraper: I dont mess with drugs at all. I think you have the wrong guy. . ( inside I am :to: please Hump. .Stay strong breh. Dont crack. )

:ohh: more more moer
 

CaughtInTWebb

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Bruh.....I came in here thinking this was talking about cereal (Hey why not....I love cereal)


and have to say this is hands down the best thread I've ever read.....


This is comedy on a whole different level....I'm seriously in tears laughing at all this shyt.....

Even though you take L's, bruh you have a guardian angel or something.....
 

Regular_P

Just end the season.
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Master Chief - Tell us about the Steroids you bought in Amsterdam. :leostare:

Me -
images
Steroids?? Do I look like I do Steroids? :aicmon:

My Chief - We got you General. Your boys gave you up. We are searching your locker right now. :umad:

Me - :rudy: I have no idea what you guys are talking about.

Master Chief - CUT THE BULLshyt! WE KNOW ABOUT THE WEED. AND WE KNOW ABOUT THE STEROIDS. WE ALREADY GOT YOUR PEE TEST. SO YOU ARE fukkED. WHERE ARE THE REST OF THE DRUGS! :birdman:

Me - :smugdraper: I dont mess with drugs at all. I think you have the wrong guy. . ( inside I am :to: please Hump. .Stay strong breh. Dont crack.
)

:deadrose:
 

General Mills

More often than not I tend to take that L.
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When it comes down to it they had nothing. . But that does not stop them in the Navy. . . My Chief and Master Chief were PISSED! :birdman: But Hump stood strong and so did I. We both knew that we had no product anywhere on the ship. . Well someone may have some in their veins. :mjpls:

And they never mentioned the juice heads on the ship by name so we were in the clear. . THEN. . Those fukkers brought these guys on board.

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Its not just a TV show. Those NCIS fakkits are no joke.
The NCIS mission is to investigate and defeat criminal, terrorist, and foreign intelligence threats to the United States Navy and Marine Corps, wherever they operate: ashore, afloat, or in cyberspace.


These guys are not all joking and there is no weird goth chick who is strangely sexy.

Abby%20Sciuto%20NCIS.jpg


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They came on board and start turning the ship upside down looking for anything. . They started conducting interviews. .They started searching every nook n cranny on the ship. They searched where we had our stash at. THANKFULLY IT WAS CLEAN. They interrogated all the dudes who worked out. NOBODY TOLD.

But they were relentless. . . .
 

General Mills

More often than not I tend to take that L.
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In the midst of their investigation they turned up all kinds of shyt on other people inadvertently.

1. One guy was a pedo. :sitdown: They found a MASSIVE stash of child porn. :gag:

2. They found weed on about 4 sailors. And various weed stashes around the ship.

3. 5 guys had warrants for bad checks. :ooh:

4. One guy was on some Milton from Office Space shyt!!
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This dude had been discharged 5 months ago!!! Somehow someway he manipulated the paperwork and he was still on the ship working and getting a paycheck. . . Plus his retirement pay. . . . . . . HE GOT fukkED!

5. Another guy had a fukking pistol on the ship!! A unauthorized pistol. He bought it in Turkey. It cost him like 5 Zippos. He had it way way in the back of the engine room underneath a pump. Them NCIS nikkas found that shyt. Nobody fessed up so they took fingerprints. . It was my 1st Class. :ohhh:



Through all of this they would not leave me and Hump alone! They must have talked to us at least 10 times. Trying to play gotcha and catch us slipping. We said nothing. :leostare:

Everything was all sweet till we got back to Jax. . .Then all hell broke loose. :troll:
 
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