The General Mills Chronicles.

[General Mills]

Crabs story part deux.


I had a roomate down here in Jax. Crazy dude. We were always throwing parties and shyt.

He worked at the Pepsi Plant. . One day he calls me while he is at work. Tells me we are going to do a crab boil tonight. Now at this point. . I have had garlic crabs of course. But I never heard of a crab boil?

So he tells me. . I will get everything else we need when I get off. . What I need you to do is go to this seafood store and get three dozen blue crabs for our boil. .


I am like sure nikka. I go to the store. . I had never bought crabs before that were not already ready to eat. . I tell the clerk that I need some crabs for a crab boil. He goes in the back. Comes back out with three paper bags. I pay the man and I dip . .


Brehs. . I am driving down Altantic blvd. . . when. . I feel something by my leg. I look down and this nikka is looking at me. .

As I am looking down in horror. . He takes the time to snag onto my exposed shin. . . . The pain. . . .

I try to jump up and next thing I know I am swerving all over the road.

 

[Roger Sterling]

L via non-STD crab. That's a new one.

 

[Coach Gully]

Damn you had that crab bossing up on you

 

[General Mills]

Brehs I was freaking the fukk out!!!!! AND. . I was ALL OVER THE ROAD. . .

I damn near broadsided two cars and managed to pull into a bus lane and screech to a stop!

What THE fukk IS GOING ON!!! That lil crab had its pincher on my shin and I was kicking and freaking out. I finally manage to get him off me and I jump into the passenger seat. . As I do that. . .

I happen to peek into the backseat. .

them nikkas had busted out and were all just waltzing around. . I jumped on the cell and called my roomie!

Roomie - ayo whats up.

Me - nikka I GOT THE CRABS BUT THEY CAME BACK TO LIFE!!!!!

 

[General Mills]

Roomie - What do you mean they came to life??

Me - nikka YOU ARE NOT HEARING ME! I GOT THE CRABS FROM THE SPOT! I AM ON THE WAY HOME. . AND THEM nikkaS CAME ALIVE AND ARE ALL OVER MY CARRRR!!!

I was hollering brehs.. I was scared as fukk. Them lil nikkas looked like they was advancing on me. . Felt like I was in Pet Semetary.

Roomie - THEY ARE supposed to be ALIVE! fakkit!! You cant cook no dead crabs!!

Me - alive?? you buy them alive??

 

[General Mills]

Damn if he did not ether me something serious over that shyt. I heard him in the background telling everyone at the plant what his dumbass roomate just did.





So. . I had to drive the rest of the way home with the crabs running wild in my car. They fukked me up the whole way home. Then when I got there I had to catch them all. shyt was beyond fukked up. They fought my ass the whole time.

 

[Racked Up]

 

[Nick Barnes]

ahahaha damn sonned by some crabs haha

 

[PortCityProphet]

 

[Jutt]

What hurt worse breh...the ether from ya roomate, or the pinching from the crabs?

 

[Roger Sterling]

Roomie - THEY ARE supposed to be ALIVE!




































fakkit!!

I read it like that. Laughed harder at the implied pause.

 

[Regular_P]

I've never even heard of some shyt like this before

 

[the artist known az]

General Mills is a national treasure

 

[904]

at driving to St. Augustine for some crabs.. Im reading this shyt like I know this nikka not really driving all the way down there for garlic crabs

 

[detroitwalt]

Brehs. . I am driving down Altantic blvd. . . when. . I feel something by my leg. I look down and this nikka is looking at me. .

My dude how in the hell you keep finding the perfect pics to go with these stories?



I feel you on that crab shyt tho. The 1st time I seen somebody steam some and one of them bytches hopped up out that pot and hit the floor running I took the fukk off