The General Mills Chronicles.
- Thread starter General Mills
- Start date
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- Tags
- rafters
I see this dime walking and I amThis is going to be so great! I am now picturing a beach full of naked chicks like her! She walks past us and I break my neck to check out the caboose.
Thats when disaster struck. .
I tripped over the curb.There is no funny way to say this. No way to spin it. I hit the curb. . Then fell face first onto a bench.
My boys of course are
Meanwhile I am scrapping myself off the bench. .. I turn around and my boys go from
I landed face fukking first in a blob of pigeon shyt. Had it all on the side of my face and in my hair.Rubbing sand and shyt all over me trying to scrub the doo doo off. I now look like a wild man. Sand and bird shyt all over my face and hair. .
Of course as I am looking my worst a trio of dimes comes walking past. They see me andThen scurry away. . I see my boys kinda sliding away from me. I guess they decided they were taking L's just by being near me.
The e-streeeeeets on waiting General!
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
I am a wreck. Definitely in no shape to be hollering at dimes. I spy a shower and make a beeline for it.
Wash off as best as I could. Scrubbing my face and hair. Of course I am fully clothed. lol. Other beach goers were using the other beach showers and they were looking at me like
Meanwhile my boys has dipped on me. Those fakkits were damn near running down to the nude beach without me. 
I finish making myself look presentable and jog on down there too. Something seemed amiss.
At first I could not put my finger on it. . But as I got closer to more and more people. . . I saw hell. 
Old hairy german women. Naked. 
shyt was disgustya brehs. Caught up to my boys and they are also mad disgusted. We are sitting there discussing this putrid turn of events. Surrounded by these old german hefties who had no shame. bytches were either naked or had on thongs. 
Well let me back up. I first thought they were both turned off like me. . The one homie said he was. But his eyes told different. This nikka was looking around like
Wash off as best as I could. Scrubbing my face and hair. Of course I am fully clothed. lol. Other beach goers were using the other beach showers and they were looking at me like
Meanwhile my boys has dipped on me. Those fakkits were damn near running down to the nude beach without me. I finish making myself look presentable and jog on down there too. Something seemed amiss.
At first I could not put my finger on it. . But as I got closer to more and more people. . . I saw hell. Old hairy german women. Naked.
shyt was disgustya brehs. Caught up to my boys and they are also mad disgusted. We are sitting there discussing this putrid turn of events. Surrounded by these old german hefties who had no shame. bytches were either naked or had on thongs. Well let me back up. I first thought they were both turned off like me. . The one homie said he was. But his eyes told different. This nikka was looking around like
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
SMH. So while we were talking about exit strategies I spot an oasis. 
Smack dab in the middle of the beach was our life preserver.
BREHS! It was like a breath of fresh air! We discuss who is going to holler at who. . Then we walk over there and start rapping.
The chicks were in the process of leaving when we walked up. But we were looking at titays. 
One of the chicks say . . Hey we are hitting a club later. You gents should join us. She gave us the name of the club. The chick I was hollering at had a mad heavy accent of course. I could not quite get her name. So she wrote it down for me. They dip and we decide to go back to the ship so I can change my clothes and wash the bird fecal matter off of me.
We get back to the ship. We all decide to get on our club clothes. Its still a lil early but we think we will get fresh to def. Do a lil sight seeing and hollering at ho's. . Then hit the club.
I had these $100 pair of white jeans. Copped them a month previous but had no occasion to wear them. So I got them on and I know I am
WELLLLLLLLLLL
We are leaving the pier. . Walking to catch a cab. . When I get Pearl Harbored.
MORE PIGEON shyt! A GLOB OF PIGEON shyt FLIES DOWN FROM THE HEAVENS AND SPLATTERS ON THE THIGH OF MY BRAND NEW $100 PAIR OF WHITE JEANS.
Homies are
I am so livid. . .I have worn these jeans for about 10 minutes and they are ruined. My tucas looked so good in them too no homo.
Smack dab in the middle of the beach was our life preserver.
BREHS! It was like a breath of fresh air! We discuss who is going to holler at who. . Then we walk over there and start rapping.
The chicks were in the process of leaving when we walked up. But we were looking at titays. One of the chicks say . . Hey we are hitting a club later. You gents should join us. She gave us the name of the club. The chick I was hollering at had a mad heavy accent of course. I could not quite get her name. So she wrote it down for me. They dip and we decide to go back to the ship so I can change my clothes and wash the bird fecal matter off of me.
We get back to the ship. We all decide to get on our club clothes. Its still a lil early but we think we will get fresh to def. Do a lil sight seeing and hollering at ho's. . Then hit the club.
I had these $100 pair of white jeans. Copped them a month previous but had no occasion to wear them. So I got them on and I know I am
WELLLLLLLLLLL
We are leaving the pier. . Walking to catch a cab. . When I get Pearl Harbored.
MORE PIGEON shyt! A GLOB OF PIGEON shyt FLIES DOWN FROM THE HEAVENS AND SPLATTERS ON THE THIGH OF MY BRAND NEW $100 PAIR OF WHITE JEANS.
Homies are
I am so livid. . .I have worn these jeans for about 10 minutes and they are ruined. My tucas looked so good in them too no homo.
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
I am just More pigeon shyt. My one homie can not control his laughter it seems. He lays down on the pavement and is rolling. 
Soooo. I go BACK to the ship. Change AGAIN.
We head out. Trying to holler at ho's and such.
Grab some food and finally decide to hit the club around 10ish.
We show up and the place is actually kind of live.
We are having a good time
when our dimes walk in. I grab my girl. Her name was Eva. We hit the dance floor and are having a good time. Later we all post up in VIP and are talking.
Well after a bit one of the other girls is looking real confused.
She looks at me and at the girl I was hollering at..
Girl - Hey. . .What did you call her?
Me - Who? This fine thing right here? Eva. Why?
Eva -
Homie - Hold up hold up. Let me see that paper she wrote her name down on General.
More pigeon shyt. My one homie can not control his laughter it seems. He lays down on the pavement and is rolling. Soooo. I go BACK to the ship. Change AGAIN. We head out. Trying to holler at ho's and such.
Grab some food and finally decide to hit the club around 10ish.We show up and the place is actually kind of live.
We are having a good time when our dimes walk in. I grab my girl. Her name was Eva. We hit the dance floor and are having a good time. Later we all post up in VIP and are talking. Well after a bit one of the other girls is looking real confused.
She looks at me and at the girl I was hollering at.. Girl - Hey. . .What did you call her?
Me - Who? This fine thing right here? Eva. Why?
Eva -
Homie - Hold up hold up. Let me see that paper she wrote her name down on General.
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
Me - Here you go. . What is up?? 
Eva -
Homie -
Then shows the other homie the paper.
Other Homie -
Me - I snatch it back and look at it again. So what nikkas. Eva Braun. I look at her. Its a fake name or something?
Homie - nikka. Eva Braun is Hitlers mistress.
Eva -
Me -
I have been trolled.
Eva - You are a nice guy. But you were covered in bird shyt. I was scared to give you my real name.
I am like well damn. My homies are crying laughing. The other chicks are dying. I eat that L. Sadly it was not the only L I would eat in Germany...
Eva -
Homie -
Then shows the other homie the paper.Other Homie -
Me - I snatch it back and look at it again. So what nikkas. Eva Braun. I look at her. Its a fake name or something?
Homie - nikka. Eva Braun is Hitlers mistress.
Eva -
Me -
I have been trolled.Eva - You are a nice guy. But you were covered in bird shyt. I was scared to give you my real name.
I am like well damn. My homies are crying laughing. The other chicks are dying. I eat that L.
Sadly it was not the only L I would eat in Germany...
STEVE
MIami Beach on the check-in.
General tha GAWD! Ive been laughing out loud like a mad man reading all these stories as they come, got a nikka wishin I had a timemachine so I could go to te future and read all of the stories already
This nikka General is the Nas of the internet with the impecable storytelling yo
Gracias based General, keep cooking sire. I live in Finland btw so Im lookig forward to the Finland story
Homie - nikka. Eva Braun is Hitlers mistress.
Eva -
Me -
Eva - You are a nice guy. But you were covered in bird shyt. I was scared to give you my real name.
I am like well damn. My homies are crying laughing. The other chicks are dying. I eat that L. Sadly it was not the only L I would eat in Germany...
well did you smash?
Roger Sterling
Senior Alias
Multiple Ls via pigeon excrement in the same day.
General is no friend of the birds.
General is no friend of the birds.
Dirk Diggler
Pro
One of the funniest stories was when you knocked your date out in Miami because you though the fakkit was pinching your ass.