The General Mills Chronicles.

3Rivers

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We were going to Wilkinsburgh. The hood. No Burbs shyt. nikkas wile out in Wilkinsburgh.
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Why breh...why:snoop:
 

General Mills

More often than not I tend to take that L.
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My cousins told me I HAVE to defend my title! I tried to explain that I am from a different Federation!! It would be like Sting chilling in the stands watching a WWE match then being forced to defend his title. :dwillhuh:

Them nikkas were sharks. They told me I am here for two months. I WILL have to put that belt up on the line. :ufdup: I came here looking to stunt and the wolves will not let me slide without showing that I EARNED IT.

FUCCKK. :stopitslime: The tables have been turned.

I look at my cousins and brother and they are :umad: Ok Ok. If this was going to go down it will be on my terms. :smugdraper: First things first.

1. No outside interference. Anybody interrupting on his behalf will result in a Disqualification and I will auto win. ( never said anything about me tho :scheme: )

2. Two ways to win. Pinfall or escape the cage.

3. No foreign objects to the face. I saw Grape Ape bash my cousin in the dome with one of the old school diecast Voltron Lions.
$T2eC16J,!%29QE9s3HEESWBRRH75C,YQ~~60_35.JPG
I was :skip:

4. This is wrestling. Meaning no closed punches, no other bullshyt. :birdman: If I am legit hurt and I say the codeword ( Hold Up! ) then we have to pause the match. ( this was going to be my ace in the hole. )

The night before the match I was practicing what I was going to do with my cousins and my brother. I had a definite plan of attack. Sadly my best laid plans normally end up getting me obliterated. :sadbron:
 

General Mills

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My plan was before the match started. . .Kick Grape Ape in the nuts. :steviej:
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Then the match will start and while he is :confused: I will jet for the cage exit! :krs:

I am loose..I am ready.... I am a wreck. :snoop: Grape Ape was a real nikka. I am not looking forward to this tussle. I was sure my plan would work and that I could escape with a win.. But I will take some lumps I am sure.

Grape Ape comes in the house looking like a grown nikka forreal.

grapeape4.jpg


He was chewing on a whole 5 pack of now-a-laters at once. My cousin then hit my theme music. I had to drop the Koko B. Ware moniker. My cousin called me a c00n. :noah:

I come in ready for war..... The plan was to kick him in the nads while the music was playing. He would not be expecting that. Then my cousin would ring the bell and I will escape.

Welllll..

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I was scared as fukk when I was facing him.... I swallowed my fear and swiftly kicked him square in the nuts!!! I heard him grunt and he dropped to one knee... I looked at my cousin to ring the bell but Grape Ape had goons. He had his boys too. They performed a preemptive strike and were tussling with my brother and my cousins!!

I look back at Grape Ape and he is :mjpls:
 
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General Mills

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Technically the match has not started yet...... Grape Ape started laughing... Then he straight up whipped my ass.

grape-ape-o.gif


It was a straight jack move. While I was looking at angles on how to win the match. Grape Ape said fukk a match. He came for the belt. He grabbed me slammed the fukk out of me. Then when I scrambled to my feet He punched me dead in my stomach and my wind was gone like wooooooo :ooh: I am on the ground trying to breath and I look at my cousins and brother and they are getting wrestled to the ground. :snoop: Grape Ape walks up. Grabs the belt. :lolbron: Starts to dip...


I croak out! You are to p*ssy to wrestle for it?? :bryan: He turns around and flips me over and starts punches my legs and thighs over n over. :whoa: That shyt hurt!! I did not know it was a setup for his next maneuver.

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I had never been locked into a figure four before. . The pain brehs. .. . . .:to: What a stunningly effective submission hold. Grape Ape starts yelling..

Grape Ape - DO YOU SUBMITT?????

Me - (Not fully understanding). . . I CEMENT!! I SWEAR I CEMENT!!

Grape Ape kept me locked in to the figure four for at least a minute. I thought I was going to black out from the pain. :why: I tried to reverse it like on wrestling but there was no way I could block the pain!

Grape Ape got up. Called of the goons. Cuffed the belt then dipped. My legs were like rubber. :sadcam:
 

3Rivers

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nikkas from Wilkinsburgh are a different breed. Them nikkas was eating hot wings a week after they came out of the womb. Monroeville did not prepare me for their nikkardly ways. :to:

Brethren....my little cousin was raised in wilkinsburg. Had him over the crib one day when we were kids. Playing with my old school wwf wrestling figures....the ones that did little moves.

carededhack.JPG

The instructions clearly show you how far back your supposed to take his arm....why did this little mistake bend his whole damn arm back...breaking my hacksaw jim duggan in the process:to:

Had Hot shots basketball too:obama:
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The same cousin straight gorilla dunked on it....breaking it in the process:what:

I haven't talked to him in years:pacspit:
 

King Theo

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Brethren....my little cousin was raised in wilkinsburg. Had him over the crib one day when we were kids. Playing with my old school wwf wrestling figures....the ones that did little moves.

carededhack.JPG

The instructions clearly show you how far back your supposed to take his arm....why did this little mistake bend his whole damn arm back...breaking my hacksaw jim duggan in the process:to:

Had Hot shots basketball too:obama:
mD54N5R.jpg

The same cousin straight gorilla dunked on it....breaking it in the process:what:

I haven't talked to him in years:pacspit:

:dead:

nikkas from wilkinsburg have no cooth. i remember my dads best friend brought his kids over and they were living in wilkinsburg with their mother. well they also brough one of their freinds over too. we were wrestling and they came and wrecked havoc on my bedroom and on me. their friend was a grape ape type than nikka straight slammed me and then sat on my chest. he wouldnt get up until i had tears in my eyes.

i thought i was gonna die brehs! i swear after i got up i look around at everyone and my room like :dwillhuh: i felt they were are lookin at me like :demonic: so i went to my parents bedroom and played playstation by myself brehs
 

General Mills

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To make matters worse Grape Ape lived NEXT DOOR! I saw that nikka with the belt all the time. He wore it to the corner store, the park, etc.. When he would catch me looking at it he would say..

You wanna wrestle for it? :birdman: :unsure: Everytime he said that my legs would ache. :sad: Meanwhile Grape Ape was a fighting champion. He wrestled damn near every kid in a 10 block radius. He whipped everyones ass.

Finally the day comes to go back home. I forgot all about the Million Dollar Kid. He did not forget about me. :leostare: I am in my room at home putting my clothes away when my room door closes. . .

I look up and its

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MDK - ( in a whisper ) where is my belt :stopitslime:

Me - :ld: Sorry homie. I lost it in a steel cage match.

MDK - do you know i was on punishment for 30 days. no allowance. no leaving the porch. no TV!!

Me - I am sorr....


MDK Attacked me in a rage!! He pounced on my ass and kneed me in the nuts and was punching in a rage. . . I managed to scoop him and we were tussling and he scratched the shyt out of me like a bytch!!

I push him off and we stand up facing each other. His face is pure :demonic: He then RUNS AT ME AND SWEEPS THE LEG!

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I catch flight and come down hard as fukk on my shoulder. THE PAINNNNNN!!!

I broke my collar bone. :smh:
 

King Theo

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Finally the day comes to go back home. I forgot all about the Million Dollar Kid. He did not forget about me. :leostare: I am in my room at home putting my clothes away when my room door closes. . .

I look up and its

tedx_280x390_743375a.jpg


MDK - ( in a whisper ) where is my belt :stopitslime:

Me - :ld: Sorry homie. I lost it in a steel cage match.

MDK - do you know i was on punishment for 30 days. no allowance. no leaving the porch. no TV!!

Me - I am sorr....


MDK Attacked me in a rage!! He pounced on my ass and kneed me in the nuts and was punching in a rage. . . I managed to scoop him and we were tussling and he scratched the shyt out of me like a bytch!!

I push him off and we stand up facing each other. His face is pure :demonic: He then RUNS AT ME AND SWEEPS THE LEG!

sweep-the-leg-o.gif
I catch flight and come down hard as fukk on my shoulder. THE PAINNNNNN!!!

I broke my collar bone. :smh:

:ooh: :to: i just want my my gen to get a W. you have stories of an Epic W you got?
 
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