The Catpiss Advice Column.

[Cat piss martini]

Mr Piss, how would you go about renewing your roster? Do you fukk with the apps?

I aint been on any platforms since Myspace.
I'll give you my System though.
every 6 or so months purge your
phone of bullshytters and time wasters.
keep the two or three that bring you plates,
drinks,gifts and fukk on the regular.
In 2 years you have solid life long pusssy.
plus the feeling you get when one of the
bullshytters are hit with.

you: who is this?
her: tina.....you got a new phone?
you: no i just delete worthless numbers
her:

 

[Redwood]

What to do if you feel like your life is all over the place breh?

 

[Cat piss martini]

What to do if you feel like your life is all over the place breh?

water the plants that feed you my dude.
let everything else die.

 

[Diunx]

I'm sure yo mama love you but
if you need proof.


Beat your father in a fist fight.
Women cant help but love winners.
Thanksgiving you wait for him to cut
the turkey with his chest out like he
big shyt and drop his ass in front of everybody.

bop off with the title in front of shocked fam like this.

Joining my local boxing gym first thing tomorrow.

Thanks Catpiss.

 

[Cat piss martini]

Let me smoov it out like a fresh Perm.
Jungle Love Radio.

 

[Redwood]

water the plants that feed you my dude.
let everything else die.

Almost sounds like watching the world burn breh

 

[inndaskKy]

Confession time:

this morning I got out from under the shower, I had the riff of Sign of the Times in my head. I was feeling extra fly.

Wiped the mirror so I could see myself. Then I pulled one of these:

First one I was feeling self-conscious so I laughed at myself and couldn't complete it.


Second one I decided f*ck it. Did it with conviction. The look, swing in the step, the whole thing.

Try it for yourselves at least once Coli brehs.

 

[Cat piss martini]

Almost sounds like watching the world burn breh

More like prioritizing your life.
anything that dont serve your happiness
in this lifetime aint worth the effort.

 

[Cat piss martini]

Confession time:

this morning I got out from under the shower, I had the riff of Sign of the Times in my head. I was feeling extra fly.

Wiped the mirror so I could see myself. Then I pulled one of these:

First one I was feeling self-conscious so I laughed at myself and couldn't complete it.


Second one I decided f*ck it. Did it with conviction. The look, swing in the step, the whole thing.

Try it for yourselves at least once Coli brehs.

There you go my dude!!!!
Put some Piss in It!!!!

 

[Redwood]

More like prioritizing your life.
anything that dont serve your happiness
in this lifetime aint worth the effort.

Fair enough breh

 

[Cat piss martini]

@Boujee Bonita Braxton
@Coco Loco
@HarlemHottie
@MoonGoddess
@Sassy
@RehReh
@Booksnrain
@BlackPearlTheEmpress
etc.
Reach out and let us know what's up.

I'm sure at least one of ya'll are pissed
at a nikka for being able to cough or sneeze
him out the coochie and wanna be nice about
telling him that he's pissing on his nuts..

Jungle Love Radio.
Here's something for the Ladys that keep
their Panties clean.

 

[Ghost Utmost]

SOHH do people not meet IRL anymore?

Is a dating app a must in 2023?

 

[Cat piss martini]

SOHH do people not meet IRL anymore?

Is a dating app a must in 2023?

I dont rock with none of those apps.
I like to keep my claws sharp.

Whole foods,Museum’s,My homie's ole
Lady throw these dope Mixers that be
loaded with fresh/stray draws etc.

I like to flex my charm and savor faire.
I enjoy looking deeply into the eyes of a beautiful
woman that clealy think she's too good for me and
breaking the ice by telling her that she has a booger
in her nose.

 

[Cat piss martini]

Disco scared Honkys.....they had to destroy it!

Dolly Parton and and Sally fields
snorting lines of ecstasy and crushed ludes off 15 year old
Michael jackson's dikk while a coked up Grace Jones,
David Bowie and Andy Warhol played Pac-man
in the middle of the damn dance floor.


Jungle love Radio!!!

 

[the elastic]

Your favorite cheese?