OP, you've been talking kind of peculiar these past few days, breh. First, you were talking about understanding why people commit suicide, now you're talking about having a nervous breakdown.
Don't do anything that will effect you permanently for eternity if you know what I mean?
Take a break from engaging in things that bring and produce negativity in your heart, including this site if necessary. The kingdom of darkness operates in negativity and regardless if a topic doesn't affect you personally, the negativity can attract demons to harass you in areas that do affect you due to you letting off that antimatter energy. You have a purpose on this earth, fam. Don't let a degenerate predator like Satan put condemnation and despair into your heart, leading you to do something you can't come back from. God does not condemn the living. He convicts in hopes that those convicted will turn to Him for repentance. I've prayed for your sins to be remitted, may the LORD answer that prayer and shine His light on your conscience.