Solutions on dealing with heartbreak?

[MikelArteta]

@ the bolded @MikelArteta

Thats what shocks the conscious. I remember when my ex and I broke up my phone stayed radio silent for a long time. Sure I had people I texted here and there but she was someone I talked to everyday all day from 2015-2021 and for it to abruptly end was gut wrenching. Hell i remember getting phantom vibrations when I’d be at work cause we use to text all day. Checking my phone repeatedly expecting a text from her any moment. Even Snapchat. We had a 3 year Snapchat streak. That’s how intertwined our lives were. That agonizing hope that she’ll reach out.

As a man it’s hard to reconcile with that. You feel in your very being that the time and the memories will bring her back to you. But no. More silence. Then you wonder, and question, damn she doesn’t feel that void too?

Serious breakups really are like someone died. Difference is you know they’re still out there living a happy life without you. Overwriting memories of you with a new man. Doing the things she did with you and more to someone else. It can really wreck a man for a long time.

 

[Marco Zen]

You'll get thru it man. Look at it as an opportunity to be the best version of yourself. It's really just that

 

[bigde09]

Update:

Crashed out today. It didn't "need" to happen but it needed to happen, if yall get my drift.

It's over and now I can start my process of self-healing. Everything I needed to hear was told to me directly by the guy today. Which made for a bad day, and some of you told me don't even go forward with hopes, and yall were right.

When you know, you know. Any other confirmation is just Salt in the wound. And I guess hanging on to the possibility that it isn't what it is, isn't healthy. When you have enough evidence to convict, you have enough evidence to convict...

I'm hurt right now and it was a wild day but I got the finality I needed to finally start bandaging myself and getting the fukk on...

Now you can start the healing process. You’ll be good in a few months if you do it right.

 

[Diondon]

Yeah...

I pointed out earlier that I was OT for work for two months. It started then...

And homeboy said he didn't even know I was in the picture until the day I went to the house and saw him. Said he was told I dipped on her and my babies (and my kid) and I wasn't involved at all, and I believe him on that. Because I know her, I believe that...

She slid on him, got his number from a coworker, which I believe too, because when her and I started dating she had her friend give me her number, after she'd already tried to give me her number and I declined once. So she slid on me, so I can believe she the one who came after him too...

Lotta things revealed today. Among them, he said if he knew I was still involved and I'm the picture he wouldn't have gotten involved with her. Asked me, "the day you came to the house, were yall I'm contact before then?" I said yes, we never stopped talking/communicating. Asked me if I still loved her, wanted her back, viewed her as my woman, I said yes to all...

He said he ain't the type to jump after women he know who got someone and her still telling me she loves me complicates shyt for him. I don't know how true this is, because he said he likes her. I asked if he loves her and he said "nah I wouldn't say it's nothing heavy". But I said it is something, yall got something, and he said "yeah it is something"...

He asked me once, so she never told you her and I were anything, done anything. I said nah because if she did I wouldn't be up here (this was up at her job). If she ever told me straight up she moved onto something else, I wouldn't went this route. Up until even yesterday morning, she told me her and him weren't in any kind of flirtation, relationship, no sex, no nothing...

If she was ever 100 with me I could start burying that chapter of my life. She wasn't so I sought out homeboy to get answers...

He said he was embarrassed I even came up there bringing that shyt to his job, I didn't care. I said she playing both sides, she don't wanna really let me go because she does love me and in case it don't work out with fam, but she don't wanna let him go because she likes him and in case the door closed on her and I...

That door is closed now so it's his world. She's been making her choices and I helped give us finality...

He look older but he 34 with no kids, I told him he's what she looks for and I feel a kind of way about him playing with my child. He said he would stop fukking with my daughter and all shyt if I didn't like it, because again he was told I dipped on my girl too and I wasn't around. I told him if he's the guy who gonna be around he ain't gotta stop playing with her, I can respect it, my two oldest girls' mother has a man, I can respect it. My shyt is I just needed the truth...

He said it complicates things for him if I'm gonna be a problem, even though he likes her. Told him I'm not the problem...

So I offered to pay him for missing 45 minutes of work to chat with me, he declined. Then I called homegirl up there. I had all three of my daughters and her oldest son...

She gets up there on some aggressive "give me my baby" shyt and I caused a public disturbance, said this is the bytch who stepped out on me. Waited for me to leave then jumped on some new dikk...

She tried to take the baby from me, I stepped back, kept talking. We went outside and a bunch of other people came outside, lotta arguing, she was crying, homeboy came outside, another guy came out, I kept going. "This the bytch that stepped out on me". Everything I did for her. Used me not giving her money that last time as a scapegoat. Soon as she had a "reason" she took it, and lied until the very end...

Her aunt called the cops and they came up there and was like this is a civil disturbance, not a criminal matter, yall just need to go yall separate ways. Which when her aunt started talking that police shyt, I knew it wasn't no trouble I could get into, I been in enough trouble with the law. They weren't gonna do shyt and I stayed there talking shyt until they came then gave my daughter back, wasn't nothing there criminal for them to get after...

Homeboy was only outside like 5 minutes, told me to take my daughters and leave, but she had me blocked into my parking g space. Homegirl was crying and he hit her with a light "you alright" and then went back in, didn't see him again. She was on some I brought our business to her job, which is false, homeboy already told me people thought he and her were a thing but he never told no one.so he said they got it from me, which is false, and he was like "I woulda been comfortable telling people about us in due time, because I do like her, she likes me. And the story everybody knows at work is her man ran off on her and her infant. But this complicates shyt, I didn't tell nobody we did anything buy its all out there now"...

Which, who knows where him and her go from here. I can't concern myself with that. It stings today, still gonna sting for a stretch but believe it or not bro, a weight has been lifted from me knowing everything. A pressure has lifted. I still feel some pain at the moment. I don't expect I'll just get over this I'm a few days or even a few weeks...

But a weight has been lifted, the weight of her telling me one thing but me KNOWING it wasn't right, the weight of me thinking this possibly isn't what I think it is, the weight of me thinking we could reconcile. That weight, at the moment it doesn't kill all the hurt...

But that weight is lifted and I feel so much better for it. As wild as it sounds I feel like I'm on the way to recovery and the personal healing doesn't feel as daunting as it seemed before. It truly doesn't...



It worked bro. I didn't "need" to do it. But I needed something to happen, something like this, to help ME. I was lingering in the balance. She kept me in limbo. Even as I still hurt presently, this is a sea change of help for me...

Maaaan, if I were him, I'd dip the hell out

 

[BuckFilly]

lol you bammed out slim, nikkas tried to hip you. going to her job is what crazy and unstable nikkas do. kinda makes her actions of not telling you justified. she probably knew how you'd react. now that I think about she mighta though you was moving permanent instead of being gone for just 2 months since you was dishonest about your living arrangements previously.

sounds like you needed a a play-by-play recount of him in them guts for you to finally get the picture. not certain why you needed explicit details while ignoring the clear signs that something was afoot.

how old is your daughter with her again? best you focus on her and your other kids going further and realize that the previous connection between you and that mom is severed and reconciliation is never possible on your end no matter how she may feel or act in the future.

please dont catch a case or body

 

[The Prince of All Saiyans]

drinking almost daily

if you wake up hungover, drink more

drunkenly send her stupid messages

a month in you'll realize instead you just ruined yr life

 

[Boujee Bonita Braxton]

Heartbreak is truly one of the hardest things to endure. Especially when you have to continue your daily routines and pretend that you are alright.

I wish I knew the answer. I’ll be praying for your strength though.

 

[fifth column]

Yeah...

I pointed out earlier that I was OT for work for two months. It started then...

And homeboy said he didn't even know I was in the picture until the day I went to the house and saw him. Said he was told I dipped on her and my babies (and my kid) and I wasn't involved at all, and I believe him on that. Because I know her, I believe that...

She slid on him, got his number from a coworker, which I believe too, because when her and I started dating she had her friend give me her number, after she'd already tried to give me her number and I declined once. So she slid on me, so I can believe she the one who came after him too...

Lotta things revealed today. Among them, he said if he knew I was still involved and I'm the picture he wouldn't have gotten involved with her. Asked me, "the day you came to the house, were yall I'm contact before then?" I said yes, we never stopped talking/communicating. Asked me if I still loved her, wanted her back, viewed her as my woman, I said yes to all...

He said he ain't the type to jump after women he know who got someone and her still telling me she loves me complicates shyt for him. I don't know how true this is, because he said he likes her. I asked if he loves her and he said "nah I wouldn't say it's nothing heavy". But I said it is something, yall got something, and he said "yeah it is something"...

He asked me once, so she never told you her and I were anything, done anything. I said nah because if she did I wouldn't be up here (this was up at her job). If she ever told me straight up she moved onto something else, I wouldn't went this route. Up until even yesterday morning, she told me her and him weren't in any kind of flirtation, relationship, no sex, no nothing...

If she was ever 100 with me I could start burying that chapter of my life. She wasn't so I sought out homeboy to get answers...

He said he was embarrassed I even came up there bringing that shyt to his job, I didn't care. I said she playing both sides, she don't wanna really let me go because she does love me and in case it don't work out with fam, but she don't wanna let him go because she likes him and in case the door closed on her and I...

That door is closed now so it's his world. She's been making her choices and I helped give us finality...

He look older but he 34 with no kids, I told him he's what she looks for and I feel a kind of way about him playing with my child. He said he would stop fukking with my daughter and all shyt if I didn't like it, because again he was told I dipped on my girl too and I wasn't around. I told him if he's the guy who gonna be around he ain't gotta stop playing with her, I can respect it, my two oldest girls' mother has a man, I can respect it. My shyt is I just needed the truth...

He said it complicates things for him if I'm gonna be a problem, even though he likes her. Told him I'm not the problem...

So I offered to pay him for missing 45 minutes of work to chat with me, he declined. Then I called homegirl up there. I had all three of my daughters and her oldest son...

She gets up there on some aggressive "give me my baby" shyt and I caused a public disturbance, said this is the bytch who stepped out on me. Waited for me to leave then jumped on some new dikk...

She tried to take the baby from me, I stepped back, kept talking. We went outside and a bunch of other people came outside, lotta arguing, she was crying, homeboy came outside, another guy came out, I kept going. "This the bytch that stepped out on me". Everything I did for her. Used me not giving her money that last time as a scapegoat. Soon as she had a "reason" she took it, and lied until the very end...

Her aunt called the cops and they came up there and was like this is a civil disturbance, not a criminal matter, yall just need to go yall separate ways. Which when her aunt started talking that police shyt, I knew it wasn't no trouble I could get into, I been in enough trouble with the law. They weren't gonna do shyt and I stayed there talking shyt until they came then gave my daughter back, wasn't nothing there criminal for them to get after...

Homeboy was only outside like 5 minutes, told me to take my daughters and leave, but she had me blocked into my parking g space. Homegirl was crying and he hit her with a light "you alright" and then went back in, didn't see him again. She was on some I brought our business to her job, which is false, homeboy already told me people thought he and her were a thing but he never told no one.so he said they got it from me, which is false, and he was like "I woulda been comfortable telling people about us in due time, because I do like her, she likes me. And the story everybody knows at work is her man ran off on her and her infant. But this complicates shyt, I didn't tell nobody we did anything buy its all out there now"...

Which, who knows where him and her go from here. I can't concern myself with that. It stings today, still gonna sting for a stretch but believe it or not bro, a weight has been lifted from me knowing everything. A pressure has lifted. I still feel some pain at the moment. I don't expect I'll just get over this I'm a few days or even a few weeks...

But a weight has been lifted, the weight of her telling me one thing but me KNOWING it wasn't right, the weight of me thinking this possibly isn't what I think it is, the weight of me thinking we could reconcile. That weight, at the moment it doesn't kill all the hurt...

But that weight is lifted and I feel so much better for it. As wild as it sounds I feel like I'm on the way to recovery and the personal healing doesn't feel as daunting as it seemed before. It truly doesn't...



It worked bro. I didn't "need" to do it. But I needed something to happen, something like this, to help ME. I was lingering in the balance. She kept me in limbo. Even as I still hurt presently, this is a sea change of help for me...

You lost your heart and dignity with this messy move. When you find yourself in a hole , stop digging. You gonna have to climb out of heart break and self dignity now.

 

[bigde09]

I have to agree with other posters in here OP. You were outta pocket showing up to someone’s job like that. That’s how nikkas get killed. You accomplished nothing by doing that except creating drama for everyone. Especially after the fact that everyone in this thread been told you what it was. You can’t be moving like that especially for a man that is in his 30s already and has multiple kids with different women.

You gotta look in the mirror because the biggest issue here is you. You moved away without telling her and she moved on. You created this situation and you’re making it worse.

 

[Uncouth Savage]

Who knows what other lies she was telling on you.
What she was telling her parents, friends, and everybody else.
What she would have told the court.
What she has told the kids.

Everything in the open. Might be embarrassing, yet you did the right thing.
And most importantly, you were not violent to anyone.

 

[BuckFilly]

Who knows what other lies she was telling on you.
What she was telling her parents, friends, and everybody else.
What she would have told the court.
What she has told the kids.

Everything in the open. Might be embarrassing, yet you did the right thing.
And most importantly, you were not violent to anyone.

Naw he escalated, instead of diffusing and moving on righteously

Whatever she told others she now can add on this crazy nikka popped up on me at my gig and she might try to get a restraining order, preventing him from seeing his daughter while jeopardizing his on seed livelihood cause what if baby moms get fired over this bullshyt

 

[bigde09]

Who knows what other lies she was telling on you.
What she was telling her parents, friends, and everybody else.
What she would have told the court.
What she has told the kids.

Everything in the open. Might be embarrassing, yet you did the right thing.
And most importantly, you were not violent to anyone.

He was extremely lucky nothing happened. He did all of this because his ego is still hurt. What was the point of getting answers when he already knew this new guy was living with her? This was sloppy and he’s lucky this didn’t turn left for him.

 

[Uncouth Savage]

Naw he escalated, instead of diffusing and moving on righteously

Whatever she told others she now can add on this crazy nikka popped up on me at my gig and she might try to get a restraining order, preventing him from seeing his daughter while jeopardizing his on seed livelihood cause what if baby moms get fired over this bullshyt

Sir she is a liar. Has lied to EVERYBODY. Willing to go to drastic measures to keep her lie going.
All the folks at work including her man thinks he ABANDONED his family

that had to be set straight
in front of everybody

imagine how many people thought he was the worst man alive?
he did the right thing

and I am very sure she expected him to be violent

 

[Uncouth Savage]

He was extremely lucky nothing happened. He did all of this because his ego is still hurt. What was the point of getting answers when he already knew this new guy was living with her? This was sloppy and he’s lucky this didn’t turn left for him.

EVERYBODY including his trusted friends were saying NOTHING was happening
she was telling his MOTHER they can work it out

fukk wrong with yall?
this not someone who made a mistake or some little shyt
she was ruining the mans reputation, mental health, and FUTURE

saying he should have just brushed it off is fukd up

what yall saying is he should have just "been a man" and not cry
fukk that

 

[BuckFilly]

Sir she is a liar. Has lied to EVERYBODY. Willing to go to drastic measures to keep her lie going.
All the folks at work including her man thinks he ABANDONED his family

that had to be set straight
in front of everybody

imagine how many people thought he was the worst man alive?
he did the right thing

and I am very sure she expected him to be violent

Who the fukk cares what her colleagues think about him? Y’all nikkas and y’all egos smh

Once he seen she moved a nikka in, he should acted accordingly. He was still in denial angling for a way back in and made the situation embarrassingly worse