@murksiderock
You need to seek therapy and abstain from having any more kids...
And I mean this sincerely..
Whatever reason you feel she shouldn't get more money doesn't mean she is going to care..
The other children didn't come from her womb which means their needs will never come before her and her child...
Whether that's the reason you tell her no or not, it's going to be the reason she AUTOMATICALLY thinks
Might as well put yourself on papers my guy..cuz you gonna make this way worse and she gonna go nuclear
Fam you already admitted this ain't 100% about your daughter..
You worried about OG knocking it down and it's bothering you..
This shyt is a legit train wreck
Child support isn't a concern, she gets more money from me now than she'd get in child support, because I'm already on papers for my first two (I initiated that, by the way). The potential of child support is not an obstacle nor a hindrance...
I didn't want this child with her, which is where our first major conflict arose 2 years ago. I don't want any more kids, I'd be open to it with the right woman so I never say never. But I'm content with my three girls...
I do agree with you that therapy is probably needed for me. I also agree that I never truly grasped that, my kids' needs would never matter the same to her since they aren't hers, until halfway thru our relationship. And when I spoke above of ultimatums we'd have to have to continue our relationship, one of mine is, accepting that I have to have the same role in my oldest kids' lives. That's one of them and she has the right to reject it, but it won't work for me...
You're also correct that I've spent too much brainpower worried about this older dude knocking her down...
Part of a relationship is reaching a compatibility with finances. You may be okay with a woman reaching into your pockets habitually for any reason she wants. I'm not okay with that, and don't have to be okay with that, and that's the one thing here I'm not apologetic of. There's times I could have been more sensitive to what she was asking, financially and otherwise. But her poor management of her own money, and thinking I have to accept her squeezing any dime she can from me, will also be part of the conversation we have on whether the relationship is feasible to continue...
As well as she'll have her own things she'd need assurance on for us to continue...
Which, again, where to some guys it sounds dumb from the surface, I get it. But there's more than just a chance here. The conversations we've already had over the last two weeks, I'd guess we're in a 50/50 state of whether it continues or not. And I'm more accepting of that this morning, that there's a solid chance it doesn't continue, than I was just yesterday and the past few weeks...
I know her, she knows me. It can go either way and I gotta allow it to take the course it's supposed to. Because my ego and pride being hurt is a large part of what I'm feeling...
