Serena Williams on the Steubenville Rape case: "I'm not blaming the girl, but..."

[-G$-]

i wonder how serena would feel if another professional athlete or celebrity in the spotlight made those kinda comments about her sister's death... "she shouldn't have put herself in that position..." people wanna talk about prevention and avoiding risk while everyone's hindsight is 20/20. this ohio girl made a mistake but a mistake is never a welcome invitation for any sort of brutality, whether it be gang rape or murder. making comments that minimize pain and suffering victims go thru is just stupid and insensitive no matter how you slice it.

 

[Prodyson]

Let me preface my statement with this...

There is no excuse for what these guys did and I hope they rot in jail.

With that said, there are so many things wrong with this situation.

1. Why was this 16 year old child allowed to go to an unsupervised party? This shows lack of good judgment by the parents

2. Why is a 16 year old drinking at a party.... period. I started drinking early, but not THAT early.

3. If she does decide to drink, why is she drinking so much that she blacks out. Of course, if she was drugged, then that's another story. But if you didn't decide to drink, illegally, you wouldn't haven't gotten drugged in the first place.

People need to stop absolving people of accountability with the logic that "We should be able to live freely without the fear of getting raped and robbed and blah blah."

Yes we should.... Be we can't. WE CAN'T. That is not the world you, I, or anyone else, lives in. People get raped, people get killed and people get robbed. That's just the way the world is, and the way it will always be. Because of that FACT it is our own responsibility to TRY to live in a way that keeps our families and ourselves safer.

Rape is bad, murder is bad... but there are things that can be done (or not done) that can greatly decrease (or increase) the chance of these things happening. As a parent, when your child gets hurt doing something that you told them not do, you do two things

1. Make sure they are OK
2. Remind them that you warned them already, and if they had listened to you, they wouldn't have hurt themselves.


Of course this situation requires quite a bit more tact, considering the emotional nature of this case, but if her parents had already warned her of these things, the same logic should apply. The reason we have alcohol laws and other laws like this in place are partially to prevent things like this. This is why it is illegal for 16 years olds to drink alcohol. The same applies for rules and guidelines within a household. These are the types of situations parents are (or should be) trying to avoid.

When there is NOTHING that could have been done to prevent a situation, that is one thing. But that's not the case here. Bad decision after bad decision was made, making this poor girl the victim of even worse people. Remove even only one of the bad decisions, and this probably doesn't happen.

Be sure, If someone raped my daughter, they'd have some serious hell to pay. Like only one of us would be awaiting trial... me. But also, be sure that my son/daughter won't attend any unsupervised parties (and if I don't know for sure, he/she won't go), hopefully I'll be able to convince my children not to drink before they're 21 (or at least not before college, knowing my own past), and to be aware of the type of crowd they associate themselves with. These amongst various other things are the things you teach your children to try and reduce the chances of them becoming the victims of this vile world we live in.

Here are all of the things that should be asked, in my opinion ....

1. Should her parents have let her go to an unsupervised party? No

2. Should she have been drinking? No

3. Should she have been raped, either way? No

But the fact that #3 is true doesn't change the fact the answers to questions 1 and 2 are true as well.

 

[DaChampIsHere]

Y'all dudes keep bringing up adult situations and trains of thought for a high school aged girl.

If this girl was in college or at a random party you all would have a point.

If your friend walks up to you and hands you a drink, would you really be expecting it to have some sort of dire consequence to it? No.

We have all heard of, don't take a drink from stranger. Can anyone seriously say they've heard "don't take a drink from a friend"? Y'all can't be serious.

These kids grow up together. It's high school. They have lockers next to each other, their moms know each other, they share homework, they walk down the hallway with each other everyday, etc. They probably see each other more than they see their own family members (cousins, grandma's, etc.). Does this mean we shouldn't even trust our own relatives now? That's called paranoia, in case you didn't know.

This isn't college/real life, where you don't have an established trust with anyone, where no one knows you or anything about you.

I'd even go as far as to say that high school is actually the place where you should be able to get black out drunk, learn your limit, and use that experience for later in life.

Not only are you all encouraging misogyny and victim blaming, but you're also encouraging flat out infantilism from the male and female sex. Teenagers are going to drink, if not as teenager, as college students, point blank. If you think that's somehow an anomaly, please excuse yourself from the thread because you did not have a normal social upbringing. In any matter which one should you be able to trust more: Learning your limit in college or learning such in high school?

We used to throw parties all the time in high school. Many girls (and guys) would get black out drunk, but I, nor did anyone else I know, every feel compelled to rape anyone. People (males and females) might laugh, pull some little pranks, or take a pics or whatnot, because that's what kids do, not rape someone and then have to go sit in english class with them the next day.

At some point you just have to admit that these people are sick and monstrous. I mean, really think about how sick or bold these kids were. They were willing to walk down the hallway every day and look the girl they raped and embarrassed in face with no problem. Sit in class with her with no problem. Imagine that shyt. To look at someone in the face everyday knowing the atrocity you committed against them. These teenagers were ready to do that and bragged about it to the world! That's fukking crazy and psychotic behavior any way you slice it.

i wonder how serena would feel if another professional athlete or celebrity in the spotlight made those kinda comments about her sister's death... "she shouldn't have put herself in that position..."

She would be pissed and if white, people on here would be talking about how that person was racist.

 

[King Poetic]

These black athletes really need to answer questions like that with " I'm not to familiar with the situation so I can't comment on that"..

I mean hell use that shyt for every question..from what u think about north Korea to what u like to do in your spare time...

 

[-G$-]

She would be pissed and if white, people on here would be talking about how that person was racist.

 

[Born2BKing]

Well Im not part of the white media, and I think her comments are vile and idiotic. This blame the victim culture has really exploded in the internet age, and its out of hand. No matter what, the victim was always asking for it and always had it coming according to these narcissists. Now being drunk is an invitation for gang rape; how fcked up is that? Serena got the body of a brickhouse, and the brain of a bird, and she's an excellent example of how growing up as a Jehovah witness can cause mental illness.

This is not blaming the victim at all. Young ladies need to know that her behavior was not acceptable either, no matter if she was raped or not. You should not be 16 and binge drinking and that goes for everyone at that party. I'm sure that young ladies parents told her the same thing. No one is excusing the rapists in the situation but there is more than just one lesson to be learned from this situation. Better believe if I go to the middle of the worst projects in my city with gang colors on and get killed, people will want action taken against my murderers but will also say what the fukk was Born2BKing doing in that area reppin a set?

 

[BellaVenus]

Ehhhh she's speaking from a completely different perspective. When she was 16 she was being coached to win professional tennis tournaments and I doubt she went thru the same awkward experiences of being just another face in a large high school full of football players who were worshipped as gods and trying to find your own way. I'm sure that more than half of us male and female went to a high school party and drank more than we were aware we could handle at that age and had an early learning experience about composing ourselves. I'm not absolving the girl of all fault because she could/should have been in better control of herself. But as a female Serena should have a little more compassion here and know better than letting any media outlet insinuate she implied what those boys did was in any way excusable.

I partly agree with what you're saying. I mean, I went to a big highschool, was popular & a varsity cheerleader all 4 years but I never drank & went to a single house party because I wasn't about that life. I think what made me popular is that I was being myself & other people admired that. Parents can only do so much when raising their kids & at the end of the day kids will make their own choices. Serena should have more compassion for the girl though because life is all about making mistakes & learning from them.

 

[Higher Tech]

I honestly don't understand how people can't see there's a difference between "prevention" and "blaming the victim". There's a reason we tell our kids not to talk to strangers. This is for the GENERAL discussion about rape/crime, and there's a difference between trying to minimize risks (which is what everyone does all the time, everywhere) and absolving scumbags/criminal in general. I understand it's an extremely touchy subject but it doensn't help anyone telling people/girls "Don't worry about a thing, everybody's nice out there".

Let me put it this way: My ex-gf LOVES travelling and wanted to go to India. But with the recent rapes happening out there, she's postponed those plans. Is that, in some way, saying that those girls "had it coming"? No, that's just her using that info to better protect herself. She might still go, but she said "Not alone". Is that her blaming the victims? No, that's her being realistic about herself and the risks. There are enough situations in which one can't do anything, so you might as well minimize risks where/if you can (that goes for ALL situations obviously, not only rape). That doesn't mean absolving the perpetrators in any way.

This is my position. Almost to a T.

 

[Chris.B]

she is 100% right

 

[Kunty McPhuck]

The white devils are sharpening thier knives as we speak[/IMG]

Surely you mean Blivets/Forks?

 

[DaChampIsHere]

This is not blaming the victim at all. Young ladies need to know that her behavior was not acceptable either, no matter if she was raped or not. You should not be 16 and binge drinking and that goes for everyone at that party. I'm sure that young ladies parents told her the same thing. No one is excusing the rapists in the situation but there is more than just one lesson to be learned from this situation. Better believe if I go to the middle of the worst projects in my city with gang colors on and get killed, people will want action taken against my murderers but will also say what the fukk was Born2BKing doing in that area reppin a set?

I don't think anyone is saying her getting raped is making her act all fine and dandy just that this whole "if you wouldn't have done this..." Doesn't excuse crime and is therefore pointless rhetoric.

If Emmitt Till wouldn't have whistled at that white woman, he would have never been killed and beaten. He should have known what was up.

If Serena's sister would have never been arguing in the streets with a man she would have never been killed. I'm not blaming her sister but if you're ready to confront someone/a stranger, be ready for anything.

Besides, the shyt y'all are suggesting (women should stop drinking at parties) is just some plain ole lame sausage fest fukkery that not even you would want to be a part of. If someone tells you there's a party, with no females, are you going? If you're not going (because that's clearly some boring lame shyt) I can't see the point of imagining hypothetical ifs for situations you wouldn't want to be involved with in the first place.

SN: If anything here, it's Serena's wording that is going to catch her flack here. We all know she shouldn't have been drinking but that whole "Im not blaming her, but if she had... phrasing is touchy.

 

[Born2BKing]

I don't think anyone is saying her getting raped is making her act all fine and dandy just that this whole "if you wouldn't have done this..." Doesn't excuse crime and is therefore pointless rhetoric.

If Emmitt Till wouldn't have whistled at that white woman, he would have never been killed and beaten. He should have known what was up.

If Serena's sister would have never been arguing in the streets with a man she would have never been killed. I'm not blaming her sister but if you're ready to confront someone/a stranger, be ready for anything.

Besides, the shyt y'all are suggesting (women should stop drinking at parties) is just some plain ole lame sausage fest fukkery that not even you would want to be a part of. If someone tells you there's a party, with no females, are you going? If you're not going (because that's clearly some boring lame shyt) I can't see the point of imagining hypothetical ifs for situations you wouldn't want to be involved with in the first place.

Bruh, at 16 these kids should not be drinking to get passed out drunk. I was 16 once and we were barely even drinking back then at the parties. We are not talking about grown ass people, these are stupid ass teens. And you do a lot of things in your life to prevent yourself from harm right? Do you go to the bluffs to kick it? You will be telling your kids one day to not associate with certain people because they may cause them harm or put them in a bad situation. Prevention of harmful things is not a way of excusing the harmful things people may do. It's about protecting ourselves and loved ones.

 

[DaChampIsHere]

Bruh, at 16 these kids should not be drinking to get passed out drunk. I was 16 once and we were barely even drinking back then at the parties. We are not talking about grown ass people, these are stupid ass teens. And you do a lot of things in your life to prevent yourself from harm right? Do you go to the bluffs to kick it? You will be telling your kids one day to not associate with certain people because they may cause them harm or put them in a bad situation. Prevention of harmful things is not a way of excusing the harmful things people may do. It's about protecting ourselves and loved ones.

You can't expect any one who is new to drinking (at ANY age) to know their limits. You're literally telling someone they should know their way around a pitch black room they've never been in before. Sure you might be cool for those first couple of steps or sips, but after a while you will become disoriented and you will get perpetually more disoriented.

The point is they are kids, which is exactly right. Kids LEARN around each other. Not exploit opportunistic points as adults would.

Do you agree that Emmitt Till should foot some of the blame for his murder for knowing the rules of the South but not abiding? If he didn't know, do that people around him deserve some of the blame for not informing him? Is that even a conversation worth having to you?

 

[Mountain]

people should have the freedom to live their lives without the constant fear that any harmless action, means they are contributing to their potential destruction. There's commonsense safety methods, and then there is paranoid neuroticism. Perhaps if we were more concerned as men, and as a society, in shaming and punishing rapists, rather than excusing their actions and punishing women for daring to live and attending social gatherings, then perhaps we wouldnt be living in such a fcked up world for women.

Yes people should have that ability, but in a world with millions of sick, depraved, psychopathic people, that ability isn’t guaranteed. You’re speaking from an idealistic perspective as oppose to a realistic one and its counterproductive. By absolving her of all responsibility because “getting wasted and partying is normal” you’re inadvertently promote carelessness and a lack of accountability in terms of crime prevention. Doing something ‘typical’ is not an excusable ground for carelessness.

As men we cannot shame rapists anymore than we currently are. In civil society rapists are sentenced, branded as sexual offenders by law and heavily chastised. In less civil parts of society (such as prison) rapists are considered lowest of the low and typically subject to constant abuse. In almost every aspect of society rapists are shamed heavily, as they should be, so to act as if they aren’t being shamed enough is disingenuous at best. The world isn’t this way because we don’t shame rapists enough, the world is this way because some people are innately sick and perverted, that’s just the reality of the matter, hence why we must take appropriate steps to ensure our women’s safety instead of pandering imprudently.

 

[Lakers Offseason]

Ehhhh she's speaking from a completely different perspective. When she was 16 she was being coached to win professional tennis tournaments and I doubt she went thru the same awkward experiences of being just another face in a large high school full of football players who were worshipped as gods and trying to find your own way. I'm sure that more than half of us male and female went to a high school party and drank more than we were aware we could handle at that age and had an early learning experience about composing ourselves. I'm not absolving the girl of all fault because she could/should have been in better control of herself. But as a female Serena should have a little more compassion here and know better than letting any media outlet insinuate she implied what those boys did was in any way excusable.

/thread