Fresh Mango..
"The pig says 'My wife is a slut'?"
"Now that's a complaint"
the REALEST shyt to me was when Jerry was dating that one chick and he couldn't remember her name and he called her Mulva
I was handcuffed to the bed...in my underwear, where I remained.. (Scene cuts to another story)
She was attractive. She was, also, in fact, a Nazi.. (Cuts to another story)
The water that I had been swimming in was...very cold. And, when I dropped the towel, there was...significant shrinkage... (Scene cuts to, yet, another story)
Her parents were looking at me...So, there I was, with a marble rye hanging from the end of a fishing pole.. (Scene cuts to his closing statements)
In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply horrifyingly...it's the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow witted bald man. (Gets up, begins to walk out but then turns back for a moment) Oh, and also...my fiance died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out. Thanks again.