Quick Little Gems on Dealing with Men Thread

[Po pimp]

I realized i worded that weird. I more so meant to say if a woman has these qualities and nothing else going on in her life most men would

If a girl can have those qualities and still be a lazy fukk, or no have any ambition or drive to make her life better.

so yeah most men, if a chick is cute and nice enough will wife a chick up regardless of her actual life plans.


If a chick aint working towards a degree or has one, or has some sort of life plan that involves financial stability then she is out of the running for main status period...

eff starting a family with some lazy chick who is cool with working at Checkers.

Let me ask you this. Lets say a woman has all those nurturing qualities, looks good, bomb personality, is LOYAL, doesn't have a degree but is smart and can carry on a convo, doesn't have a job but isn't lazy and knows how to take care of home...would you wife?

 

[Sandy_Cheeks]

I realized i worded that weird. I more so meant to say if a woman has these qualities and nothing else going on in her life most men would

If a girl can have those qualities and still be a lazy fukk, or no have any ambition or drive to make her life better.

so yeah most men, if a chick is cute and nice enough will wife a chick up regardless of her actual life plans.


If a chick aint working towards a degree or has one, or has some sort of life plan that involves financial stability then she is out of the running for main status period...

eff starting a family with some lazy chick who is cool with working at Checkers.

When did a chick contributing to the bottomline of the household
become such a bad thing?

I understand some men thinking that if she is contributing, that might
give her the idea that she is somehow wearing the pants or whatever
but it's not like that. At least from my perspective.

The man has earned the right to be the man, regardless.

True. And why is the only contribution accepted or noticed a financial one? What if ol girl has a degree but desires to be a stay at home mom one day?

Regardless of what anyone does in life, a woman is a woman and a man is a man. Both should know their place in relationships.

 

[Turbulent]

When did a chick contributing to the bottomline of the household
become such a bad thing?

I understand some men thinking that if she is contributing, that might
give her the idea that she is somehow wearing the pants or whatever
but it's not like that. At least from my perspective.

The man has earned the right to be the man, regardless.

it's not a bad thing. matter of fact it's a great thing. but the other stuff mentioned is a deal breaker. that's all it is.

 

[pete clemenza]

So I definitely took heed and made a conscious effort to not be readily available all the time..I dont want to come across desperate..So after date #1 on Saturday, he wanted to take me to the park/zoo on Sunday..I politely declined..He calls me just now to see if we could go to the movies..Declined that as well and made plans to hang out on Thursday.
I gently informed him that I have no problem hanging out with him but I would need notice in advance..He seemed to understand and agreed to meet with me on Thursday.

Be careful with that shyt. If the chemistry is there and yall feelin' each other's company don't play these games and fukk it all off. That advice is not always good for every situation. Its the same with us guys, usually you wait 2-3 days before you call a girl up after you got her number.. But if you hit it off really well upon meeting a call or text the very next day won't hurt

 

[Turbulent]

if you enter the game with the intention of being a player, understand that as a female, you will lose because by nature you're weaker at the game. Let me break this down:

Winning is defined as happiness. That's the object of the game. If you enter the game as a player, that means your adversaries are men you get with. As i said, men are better than you. Here's what i mean by this. You're attracted to men who are better than you. The only way for you to be happy in a relationship is for you to be with a man better than you. But as a player, this man is your adversary in the game. So if he's better than you, he'll beat you at the game and look for another adversary when he's done with you. If you end up beating him, that means you're better than him so you go right back to being miserable because you have no challenging adversary. It becomes like a paradox or a catch-22. As a player, you're trying to punk your man or 1up him at every turn. But again as a player you will only be attracted to players better at the game than you.

Now if you,re a smart ass, you might think "well easy, i'll play the game and when i find a good man, i'll settle down with him , get out the game, stop being a player and voila, i can have my cake and eat it too! " here's the problem though. If he knows about your past as a playette, will he accept you? and if you hide it from him then you're still playing him and still in the game. deep down you will know this truth and the fact that you're successfully pulling the wool over his eyes will reduce your attraction to him and again make you miserable because you simply are not attracted to the person you're in a relationship with. catch-22. and then you're right back to square 1.

women are not meant to win at this game because we're not built the same. Men can be attracted to a woman who's not as good as them. That's why we have a slight chance at winning if we stay focused (most of us still end up losing cause we fall asleep for half a second). The difference is that when the man loses in the relationship, the female loses as well cause even if she beat him, she is still miserable.

The only way to win for women is not to play. Keep it 100 and don't try to punk men or your man. cause if you successfully play your man or punk him/1up him/pull the wool over his eye, deep down you know that all you did was turn your man into a lame. In other words, you're letting a lame fukk your p*ssy...

 

[BedRoomI'z]

if you enter the game with the intention of being a player, understand that as a female, you will lose because by nature you're weaker at the game. Let me break this down:

Winning is defined as happiness. That's the object of the game. If you enter the game as a player, that means your adversaries are men you get with. As i said, men are better than you. Here's what i mean by this. You're attracted to men who are better than you. The only way for you to be happy in a relationship is for you to be with a man better than you. But as a player, this man is your adversary in the game. So if he's better than you, he'll beat you at the game and look for another adversary when he's done with you. If you end up beating him, that means you're better than him so you go right back to being miserable because you have no challenging adversary. It becomes like a paradox or a catch-22. As a player, you're trying to punk your man or 1up him at every turn. But again as a player you will only be attracted to players better at the game than you.

Now if you,re a smart ass, you might think "well easy, i'll play the game and when i find a good man, i'll settle down with him , get out the game, stop being a player and voila, i can have my cake and eat it too! " here's the problem though. If he knows about your past as a playette, will he accept you? and if you hide it from him then you're still playing him and still in the game. deep down you will know this truth and the fact that you're successfully pulling the wool over his eyes will reduce your attraction to him and again make you miserable because you simply are not attracted to the person you're in a relationship with. catch-22.

women are not meant to win at this game because we're not built the same. Men can be attracted to a woman who's not as good as them. That's why we have a slight chance at winning if we stay focused (most of us still end up losing cause we fall asleep for half a second). The difference is that when the man loses in the relationship, the female loses as well cause even if she beat him, she is still miserable.

The only way to win for women is not to play. Keep it 100 and don't try to punk men or your man. cause if you successfully play your man or punk him/1up him/pull the wool over his eye, deep down you know that all you did was turn your man into a lame. In other words, you're letting a lame fukk your p*ssy...

 

[MadameMoreaux]

I don't have any advice for people wanting to "play games" in relationships. I'm too old for that and I've been married for a while anyway.

My advice to ladies is to seek a man who loves God. If he loves God then he will do right by your side. Don't twist my words though; I'm not talking about those mega church pastor brothers. I'm talking about a true man of God who reads his Quran, who prays everyday, who donates money and volunteers his time, who educates himself, who is humble, who doesn't let black male stereotypes and statistics dictate his future. These men do exist, in abundance actually. The thing is, these men are usually on struggle mode financially in their early to mid twenties and a lot of women miss out on them for this simple fact. We women are too concerned with wanting men to spend money on dates, and buying us gifts, to actually judge them for their character. Once these men hit the late twenties they're usually snatched up by smart women; and because these men are such jewels , they actually want to marry their women instead of turning them into long term baby mamas or eternal fiancees. The men that are left on the field will be the cheaters, losers, and "I'm never getting married" types. Good luck to those of you out there. The dating scene is cut throat

ETA: I also want to say, that if you have a black man, then your primary job is to be his support. This country isn't built to for black men to be successful and he will have extreme obstacles to overcome. Your genuine love for him will keep him strong and motivated, so don't beat him down.

 

[Black Magisterialness]

True. And why is the only contribution accepted or noticed a financial one? What if ol girl has a degree but desires to be a stay at home mom one day?

Regardless of what anyone does in life, a woman is a woman and a man is a man. Both should know their place in relationships.

Nothing wrong with wanting to be that. But we live in a different time, the notion of anyone staying at home with the kids is becoming more and more far fetched. I'm being realistic imo. There's almost no way to raise kids comfortably unless the household is bringing in a collective like 100k. I want my kids to have more than i had. Now when the kids a babies, i understand that. But i think everybody needs to be working when they can sue me.

Let me ask you this. Lets say a woman has all those nurturing qualities, looks good, bomb personality, is LOYAL, doesn't have a degree but is smart and can carry on a convo, doesn't have a job but isn't lazy and knows how to take care of home...would you wife?

If she has all these traits why doesn't she have a job? From my observations a personal experience when a female isn't working or in school she's spenfing that time doing what? Worried about what the fukk I'M doing. Idle minds are the devils playgrounds. Its about more than money, its about sanity, space and goals. How can want for your children when you never wanted for yourself? How can you give them a proper base financially? She'll be a great girlfriend, but i like ambition in the woman i want to marry is that terrible? I don't need a woman who just has dinner ready when i get home. I can cook, clean and take care of myself i don't need a 2nd mother. I need a woman who is going to build something great with me, be my best homie, fukk like a champion and be a good mother for my kids. Hell, both Obama's worked....

Only time i see women being a housewife as ideal is when if/when i make over 150k ALONE, not adding her income...Anyone making under that i think should be working flat out.

 

[Sandy_Cheeks]

Nothing wrong with wanting to be that. But we live in a different time, the notion of anyone staying at home with the kids is becoming more and more far fetched. I'm being realistic imo. There's almost no way to raise kids comfortably unless the household is bringing in a collective like 100k. I want my kids to have more than i had. Now when the kids a babies, i understand that. But i think everybody needs to be working when they can sue me.

I agree. The unfortunate thing is that it shouldn't take that amount to live "comfortably" in this country. But thats another thread

I don't necessarily want my children to have more "stuff" than I had, but I want to be able to afford them more opportunities than I had.

Most women can't stay home and have to work due to the lifestyle that family may be used to, and also bills, cost of living, ect.. If your making 60k on your income alone and your wife is home with your babies, but ya'll are living on 40k- to me thats doable. Now, you may not have 2 new cars in the driveway, going out to eat weekly, ect., but it's doable.

 

[YouLoveMe]

*Leaves thread*

 

[YouLoveMe]

*Comes back*

 

[awkwardblackgirl]

that's a lot of chicks though. If she starts dating a serial killer you already know she's gonna be sharpening/cleaning knifes and drive the getaway car...

EDIT: even their whole way of talking and slang switches up from man to man.

If she doesn't have anything worthwhile going on in her life, then yea, she's more prone to become the puppet of her man. I'm not sure how to defend your opinion that most women are like that other than to say maybe they don't know the difference between being genuinely interested in her man's interests or just being a copy-cat.

 

[Black Magisterialness]

I agree. The unfortunate thing is that it shouldn't take that amount to live "comfortably" in this country. But thats another thread

I don't necessarily want my children to have more "stuff" than I had, but I want to be able to afford them more opportunities than I had.

Most women can't stay home and have to work due to the lifestyle that family may be used to, and also bills, cost of living, ect.. If your making 60k on your income alone and your wife is home with your babies, but ya'll are living on 40k- to me thats doable. Now, you may not have 2 new cars in the driveway, going out to eat weekly, ect., but it's doable.

Yeah, i mean opportunities as well. And i totally agree with the bolded, but i just think he we can send the kids to private school of you work, or we can take the kids on vacation if you work...

DON'T underestimate the power of vacations. I want my kids to understand the world outside of them in a better capacity that YouTube... experience is the best teacher.

 

[Sandy_Cheeks]

Yeah, i mean opportunities as well. And i totally agree with the bolded, but i just think he we can send the kids to private school if you work, or we can take the kids on vacation if you work...

DON'T underestimate the power of vacations. I want my kids to understand the world outside of them in a better capacity that YouTube... experience is the best teacher.

True. I agree and I see what your saying. Yea, I want my children to understand the world and other cultures as well. Intellectuality and well roundedness is definitely a must.


I lovvvveeee vacations

 

[malbaker86]

Lets get back to dropping gems people.......