Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Turbulent]

I need yall opinion.
I met this girl on match.com, she gives me her number the next day, and we go out on monday we had a few drinks talked and all that. As I walked her to my car I even do the gentlemanly thing and open the car door for her, and she leaned over and opened my door so I'm thinking this one knows how to act. I drop her off she tells me how she enjoyed herself i give her a hug and little kiss on the cheek and go on my way. So the next time I talk to her she tells me how she had fun and thought I was cool and would like to continue hanging out. The next day we set up a date for the weekend which she seemed excited about or so I thought. tell me why i get a text later on saying she doesnt want to continue dating because she isnt sure we are compatible and doesn't want to waste my time due to her uncertainty. I look at the phone like it was all good a few hours ago, how does one change their whole thought process so suddenly it's like her alter ego took over.. any real comments or criticisms are welcomed

either she's crazy or the ex who broke her heart called her and gave her hope so she doesn't need a boost anymore. either way, thank the lord cause you saved yourself some time.

 

[Mr210]

Open question: What do you guys think is the best way to message a woman on a dating site? I have my own answer, but I want to hear yours first.

thats easy, i find something on her profile that we have in common (hobby, tv show, music artist) and then i talk about that, ask how her summer is going. I personally like okcupid much better than POF. On POF, i get a reply back on a first message like 10% of the time, on okcupid its like 50% and i think the chicks are better on okcupid, less single mothers. I just got this one chicks number off of okcupid last night

 

[Mr210]

fellas, when you get a chicks number, do you call her or text for the first contact. We live in a texting word, i ask because I got this chicks number yesterday off of okcupid, well I can call her in the evening and talk briefly, but she could be getting ready for a friday night outing, or I can text her sometime tomorrow.

secondly, how many times do you talk to her by phone until you set up a first meet/date, i like to make it quick to get it out the way. So im thinking about trying to set something up for maybe this sunday or something, but i just got her number last night

 

[Rayzah]

fellas, when you get a chicks number, do you call her or text for the first contact. We live in a texting word, i ask because I got this chicks number yesterday off of okcupid, well I can call her in the evening and talk briefly, but she could be getting ready for a friday night outing, or I can text her sometime tomorrow.

secondly, how many times do you talk to her by phone until you set up a first meet/date, i like to make it quick to get it out the way. So im thinking about trying to set something up for maybe this sunday or something, but i just got her number last night

In my opinion I would expect her to assume you got her number so you can set up a date, and if she is on a dating site then I would assume she would be willing to meet you at her next earliest convenience. As far as text vs call, I always text first, I only call if I have alot to say or after the first date.

 

[Soundbwoy]

I tthink this chick I meet saturday is mad I waited until yesterday to call her

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

met this chick saturday..got the number and kept it moving

didnt even bother texting..so finally text me saying


so early this morning

"so why did you get my number if you dont plan on meeting up with me"


gonna wait till after work before i reply..i know i got her

gonna

 

[Fatboi1]

@Mr210 I'm not even laughing or calling you dumb or anything, I've been there breh.

This is why until you are exclusive its best to talk to a lot of women, mainly because you dont throw all your eggs in one basket, You diversify your stock, you've only known this broa dfor 2 weeks but because you have no other options at the moment you have looked the other way at the red flags and the treatment you are receiving because you think its better than being alone etc.


see when you have a roster of women when you are not in a relationship, if one flakes she cant make it on tuesday, ok that's cool.

Then youc all up the next chick and go out on that tuesday and enjoy yourself, and this is also why you dont make date plans etc.

you tell a chick like hey i'm going to the movies on tuesday you want to come?
or i'm going to the lounge on tuesday you want to come?

she can't make it thats cool you were going anyways, she can make it that scool you were going to be there anyways.

Exactly. This man knows whats up. I always sit back and ponder to myself whenever I'm worrying about a particular chick like "See if I had a roster of women right now, I wouldn't even be thinking so much about this one girl."

Also you hit the nail on the head with the date shyt. It's so corny and played out to me tbh. I just like to do spontaneous shyt with a women like I'll just hit her up and tell her I'm going somewhere and do she want to roll with me or not. It's funny when you just decide to do things alone and cull together options so whether or not they pull through, you already had something to do. Plus it's good to let her know right away to not bullshyt and say she coming and end up wasting your time. That'll weed out the bad ones.

Last time I had a chick come with me to the store and her coming into the car was the first time I actually spoke to her. She was at my house visiting with my cousins friends and she saw me and my aunt told me she liked me so I just told her to ride with me to the store. Unfortunately she's from out of state so nothing arose out of the situation but still.

 

[MikelArteta]

Exactly. This man knows whats up. I always sit back and ponder to myself whenever I'm worrying about a particular chick like "See if I had a roster of women right now, I wouldn't even be thinking so much about this one girl."

Also you hit the nail on the head with the date shyt. It's so corny and played out to me tbh. I just like to do spontaneous shyt with a women like I'll just hit her up and tell her I'm going somewhere and do she want to roll with me or not. Last time I had a chick come with me to the store and her coming into the car was the first time I actually spoke to her. She was at my house visiting with my cousins friends and she saw me and my aunt told me she liked me so I just told her to ride with me to the store. Unfortunately she's from out of state so nothing arose out of the situation but still.

Yup because if she says no, no biggie I was going to see that movie anywaus .


Me hey I think we should hang sometimes
Her sure I'm not doing anything Friday
Me that's cool im going down to the waterfront to take some pictures then seeing aovie after, see you around 7.


You've taken the power away, you already had plans she's just becoming a part of it

If she calls Thursday and she says I can't make it who cares because your plans aren't changing , whether you were going by yourself or with her you were going to enjoy yourself regardless.


And daps again regarding the roster we've all been there , only one stock holding onto, the desperation etc

Its like owning one system let's say with nba2k13 it keeps shutting off, you have no more games so you keep putting up with the unrrealibility hoping it changes. If you had more games or another system with NBA 2k13 you'd be like scrrw it I'm not putting up with this crap anymore.

 

[Fatboi1]

Yup because if she says no, no biggie I was going to see that movie anywaus .


Me hey I think we should hang sometimes
Her sure I'm not doing anything Friday
Me that's cool im going down to the waterfront to take some pictures then seeing aovie after, see you around 7.


You've taken the power away, you already had plans she's just becoming a part of it

If she calls Thursday and she says I can't make it who cares because your plans aren't changing , whether you were going by yourself or with her you were going to enjoy yourself regardless.


And daps again regarding the roster we've all been there , only one stock holding onto, the desperation etc

Its like owning one system let's say with nba2k13 it keeps shutting off, you have no more games so you keep putting up with the unrrealibility hoping it changes. If you had more games or another system with NBA 2k13 you'd be like scrrw it I'm not putting up with this crap anymore.

Hell even having a female friend or two(One that you not attracted to will help) can quench the thirst for a girl you want. I noticed whenever I went out and talked with a chick even briefly, I'd soon forget about the one that was running through my mind.

 

[Turbulent]

its going to be long but basically I meet this chick a little over two weeks ago online, after exchanging messages for about 4 days I ask for her number. She says it sounds like a great idea. I attempt to call her the following day, she doesnt answer but sends a text message about 3 hrs later saying that it was late but that we will talk the next day. I didnt call her the next day or anything like that and I didnt hear from her either, well the following day she hits me up by text saying that she is sorry she hasnt gotten back to me but she has been busy at work (she had told me in advance she works long hours). So we start exchanging text back and forth and talk briefly on the phone twice for like 3 days and then I set something up for the weekend which she says yes. We have a great time, she makes the first move by grabbing my hand. We kiss through out the night and I have my arms around her. She comes off for lowkey, simple, but intelligent (she has a masters). Throughout the night she talks about "we" and different things she wants us to do. I drop her back at her place go inside for awhile, more kissing and then she says I should go before I break her first date rule. She walks me to my car we continue to talk more. She tells me to text her when I get home so she knows I made it home safely. She mentions having a great time several times. Ok, so during the date I set something up for the upcoming monday. She tells me that has to work late but that afterwards we will grab something to eat. Well it hits 9pm that night, hadnt heard anything from her so I text her. Her response is that she was just about to text me that her meeting ran late and then she had to come home to work on a powerpoint. I was annoyed but i let it go, try to set something up for tuesday but she cant and ask me about wednesday which I cant (she even sends me a sad face when i tell her that). So a couple of days later I go out of town, but she ask that i text her before my plane leaves and when it lands, which I do. We communicate throughout the time Im gone (she even sends me a sad face asking when im coming back), and I set something up for the day I come back which was yesterday. Well tuesday night she tells me she cant make the date on wednesday because of special prayer (she is muslim and wed was the last day of ramadan). I ask her why did she agree to the date, which she replies she had forgotten until her dad reminded. She apologizes for making me angry and stated that it was her full intention to see me wednesday night. She offers thursday night because she is going out of town this weekend. I tell her that im not mad but that im big on communication.She replies that she knows she sucks at communicating and that she will get better. She tells me again she wanted to see me and that she will try to clear thursday night (tonight) for us. well I havent heard from her today. I didnt send her a text or call because i feel like the ball is in her court and that it was time for her to step up. Its coming off that she is playing games with me, but the little I know about her and from our date that was like 3 1/2 hours I dont get that vibe from her. Im thinking should i just ask her and put the cards on the table and see whats up, or should I just fall back and see if she hits me up. I guess ive never had a first date go so well yet im still not knowing where her head is. Near the end of the date we even talk about how our families see things when it comes to interracial dating.

what exactly do you want from that chick? if you wanted to hit, you should have made the move when she told you about her first date rule. her telling you this is her saying that she wants you but it "wouldn't be right". at that point, all you gotta do is "make it right" in her mind.

also, i totally agree with you in the end. the ball is in her court. She's the one who canceled. she's the one who said she would set something up. give her the opportunity to do so by laying back and not seeking anything from her. Also, don't even bother asking her if she's playing games. It's the most pointless question ever cause if she isn't she'll say no and if she is, she'll still say no because it's part of her game. fall back and let her choose what she wants in her life while you keep going forward with or without her.

 

[Turbulent]

I feel where you are coming from I guess what is throwing me off is usually chicks I dont progress with are usually the ones that I dont get much from when talking on the phone or text, but with this chick she is so engaged when we communicate, but then its like when it comes to making plans atleast after the first date, its a whole another thing. I think since she is going out of town this weekend and I dont want to be thinking about it the entire time, im just going to hit her up tomorrow and just put it out there and ask her whats up, maybe she will come out and be honest, maybe she will apologize and say she will do better who knows

 

[Turbulent]

Open question: What do you guys think is the best way to message a woman on a dating site? I have my own answer, but I want to hear yours first.

when i was on dating sites i'd usually say "Salut, ca va?" which translates to "hi, how is it going?" but it's less words in french so it flows better. for english chicks i'd just say "hi". It's mainly about the pics anyway...

 

[Rayzah]

Great point, last night I got another person's number and will more than likely ask this other chick for her number either today or tomorrow. Im hesitant about the second chick, she is cute, but she has no full body pics. I want to ask her to see one, but I may hold off for alittle bit longer.

I think the idea with these chicks is to not expect anything after just a few dates. To let her pretty much beg for your attention. I feel like we have had similar experiences these last few days with these women and how much of a misconception a "good" first date can go. After what I went through and reading your story I think its safe to say to not get caught up in the moment and not to let anything other than sex on the first date mean anything to you.

 

[Mr210]

what exactly do you want from that chick? if you wanted to hit, you should have made the move when she told you about her first date rule. her telling you this is her saying that she wants you but it "wouldn't be right". at that point, all you gotta do is "make it right" in her mind.

also, i totally agree with you in the end. the ball is in her court. She's the one who canceled. she's the one who said she would set something up. give her the opportunity to do so by laying back and not seeking anything from her. Also, don't even bother asking her if she's playing games. It's the most pointless question ever cause if she isn't she'll say no and if she is, she'll still say no because it's part of her game. fall back and let her choose what she wants in her life while you keep going forward with or without her.

yeah, i havent and i wont hit her up, i got another number yesterday and about to ask another chick for her number this weekend. When I get a woman's number i always try to call first but i think this time around im going to text her and do what you guys do and tell her that im doing this or that and ask if she wants to join me if not, then thats fine and if yes, then that is cool too. When i asked for her number she said she hopes to hear from me soon, deciding if i should text her this evening or hit her up tomorrow afternoon and set something up for sunday or something

 

[Mr210]

I think the idea with these chicks is to not expect anything after just a few dates. To let her pretty much beg for your attention. I feel like we have had similar experiences these last few days with these women and how much of a misconception a "good" first date can go. After what I went through and reading your story I think its safe to say to not get caught up in the moment and not to let anything other than sex on the first date mean anything to you.

yeah normally I dont let first dates play on my mind, but this first date was so much different than anyother one Ive had. This thread def. helped me out, so I have a different approach with these next 2 chicks