I’ve been dating a guy who’s really great, but we’ve only been on 3 dates and I don’t really want to stop dating other people just yet, but I feel bad about that.
TLDR: I (F25) have been on 3 dates with a guy (M30) who treats me like royalty. I like him a lot, although I don’t think it’s with the same fiery passion he feels towards me. I still want to keep dating other people for now, which I feel guilty about and I’m not sure if it’s a good decision.
I’m dating in the hopes of finding a life partner, although I’m not rushing into anything. This guy so far seems very kind, thoughtful, intelligent, organized, nurturing, honest, and hard working. He is quite modest and soft-spoken, but I think he is a really special person. I normally insist on splitting the bill on dates, but he is very adamant on paying for it himself and he takes me to very fancy restaurants I could never afford on my own. When I stayed over at his house, he woke me up with a breakfast he cooked himself. When he learned that I have to bike to visit him, he started sending me Ubers.
To be honest, I’m not totally head over heels for him yet. I’m attracted to him and I very much enjoy talking to him but I’m not getting the same fireworks that he is. For me those feelings sometimes don’t develop until I’ve known someone for a while. I can tend towards the “Avoidant” attachment style, but he’s been so respectful of my boundaries and need for space that I find myself not even really wanting the space and alone time that I originally requested. Of course, this is what I know of him after only three dates.
I was quite honestly suspicious of his generosity at first. I believe I ought to be self-sufficient, and I think that both partners ought to work equally hard to take care of each other. I’m always suspicious of men who treat me like a princess: sometimes it’s because they think I’m weak and sometimes they expect something in return that I’m not willing to give them. But it seems like neither of those are the case with him.
Mark is aware that I’m dating other people and that I have a policy where I don’t consider making things exclusive until I’ve known the person for three months or longer. I suspect he is a little sad about this, but he hasn’t said anything about it besides “okay! That’s alright with me, I hope we make it that far.” And he is also of course welcome to see other people, I’m not sure whether or not he is though.
Anyway, he makes me feel so safe and comfortable in my own skin. And he is so uniquely clever, curious, and kind. I feel bad for not treating him as well as he treats me. It’s only been three dates but I can’t help but wonder if continuing to date other people right now wouldn’t turn into a colossal mistake in the long term, even though I do still want to date around short term.