Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Ohene]

Man I’m trying to get one more chance to talk to this chick at my gym. Long story short I was doing seated rows and she was next to me on the side of her own machine doing the same thing. She comes over to my area to workout next to me even though her area was empty and started talking to me. I froze up lowkey …

I’ll skip what happen the second time but I got to start a proper conversation when I see her today (hopefully).

If you’re afraid of simply talking to her, i hate to break it to you but youre probably not ready or built to be fornicating with women . Because it shows that you must lack confidence and general conversation skills in the first place. She will run you over lol. Gotta start somewhere though, just go up to her and say hello, talk to her the same way you would anyone and ask for her number afterwards, suggesting yall grab a smoothie after the gym or a drink sometime

 

[Redwood]

Whatd he say

He's got plenty,

I would start here though:

 

[Guvnor]

Going to look for engagement rings soon. My shorty said she want's Emerald Cut Diamond. (Little does she know it'll be half moissanite) but I digress. She asked me how much I'm going to spend and I said about $3.5k and she saying $4.5 I settled on $4k. Then she ask me how much should the wedding band be? I said Idc how much it cost, I just want a rolex.

I'm ready to have this wedding at freaking Far Rockaway beach at this point.

Lmao rolex style ring or watch?

Good luck breh!

 

[RealCrownHeights]

Lmao rolex style ring or watch?

Good luck breh!

Just a watch. Appreciate it !

 

[Guvnor]

https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/careers/young-american-men-lost-c1d799f7?st=rTW3oh&reflink=article_copyURL_share

This kind of directly ties to the post you quoted. As women rise in life, they get pickier about who the want to relate with.

It’s all related.

The only problem is they get too picky and end up with nothing in the end.

Relate to that on a few levels.

People communicate through their perception of actions, and not necessarily what is explicitly being said. People often kind of lead with their egos. I

There's no doubt that it's not as easy to actually like someone, sleep with them, spend time together and then NOT go as far as formalized relationship. a lot is just social pressure and reward. Someone will mostly be rewarded for being in a relationship. A woman will mostly be looked as lesser for what I described above. "situationship" or what about just two people who fukking like each other lol

As someone who extends a lot of invites, it takes confidence to do that, and it's always an ego hit on SOME level when you are rejected. But, the key is to not look at it as a rejection of yourself. Not everyone can do that. I feel you, sometimes it's not the person, it's the invite. I'm like that doesn't sound fun to me. Down to hang but not rock climb or whatever. but, when you do that, she feels you are breaking an unspoken agreement, that you owe me.

what roles do (boyfriend/girlfriend) is establish formalities and a framework for how to deal with situations, when you blur the lines, it's harder. it requires really good communication and expectation setting. mutual consideration, respect, here's one I learned: unconditional positive regard. which is basically always viewing the person in the most positive way, even if they let you down. Doesn't mean no boundaries, it's just a framework to view people. Mostly what you experience is people are highly conditional, and have poor conflict resolution skills.

How can one handle a relationship where that is an issue or do you just bush women in those kind of situations? Particularly the poor conflict resolution skills.

 

[re'up]

The only problem is they get too picky and end up with nothing in the end.

How can one handle a relationship where that is an issue or do you just bush women in those kind of situations? Particularly the poor conflict resolution skills.

There's a lot that goes into conflict resolution style...there's family background, personality, learned behavior. Once you are in your late 20's and 30's, you have to work pretty hard to reverse any really unhealthy traits, and a lot of people don't like doing the work.

For a lot of people it's defensiveness. If they perceive what you say as criticism or worse, an attack, they counter attack. Like this is familiar to everyone: some shyt like that

Hey, when you say things like that, it bothers me

well you say things that bother me all the time. and I never complain! (see how they move right past their issue and reverse it)

it's really hard to reverse that kind of reaction. Takes therapy for some. Lot of self reflection. For me, there's a bad temper. Beneath all the charm, and graciousness, I go really dark really quick. Violence is usually on the table for me. Like I was the kid who would backhand slap someone in 7th grace math class, for running their mouth, and just watch them fold up. I learned that I could do that. I can be extremely dismissive and condescending. Still takes work to NOT do that.

You have to be open to reasonable criticism. When you are talking to people you care about, but even in business. Everyday shyt. If I had to give like real advice, talk about the issue, and what it's making you both feel. Talk about the exact thing. Not a whole indictment of someone's past or 100 other incidents. Keep it focused. Remember that it's not an attack, and it's not a fight or a battle, you have to win. You just want to resolve it peacefully, like a negotiation, but both parties have to come to the table. You can read a lot of shyt on this subject and it will help. Deescalation instead of escalation.

 

[Ohene]

The only problem is they get too picky and end up with nothing in the end.

How can one handle a relationship where that is an issue or do you just bush women in those kind of situations? Particularly the poor conflict resolution skills.

Poor conflict resolution skills is a non negotiable for me. If a woman is not peaceful or cooperative she’s strictly for fukkin or I’m not bothering with her altogether

You can always tell the first time you have a misunderstanding or miscommunication

 

[Ohene]

To me the key factors that dictate one’s conflict resolution style can be scene in the ocean personality framework

Openness to experience
Contentiousness
Agreeableness
Neuroticism

If somebody high in the first three traits and low in the last they’re likely to be good at conflict resolution//avoidance

 

[The ADD]

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

Something that isn’t talked about enough is how lazy black women are

They will do everything in the book except simply go to the gym and find every excuse not to. It’s so unattractive

Black men need to stop sanctioning women who are overweight and calling them thick

Remind me of going to a day party and all the sisters were chubby

Smh

 

[Ohene]

Remind me of going to a day party and all the sisters were chubby

Smh

i'll go to the gym and see plenty of east asian, south asian/indian, and white women.
Lucky if i see 1 or 2 black women on any given night

 

[MikelArteta]

i'll go to the gym and see plenty of east asian, south asian/indian, and white women.
Lucky if i see 1 or 2 black women on any given night

Well black men simp everything esp those jamaicans and nigerians

I remember I dated this girl ages and ages and ages ago, now she is fat but still got brehs simping any photo she drops on instagram, when chick is as fat as a old school fullback

no need to get in shape when taiwo and jaquinton calling you thick

 

[Lieutenant Daniels]

i'll go to the gym and see plenty of east asian, south asian/indian, and white women.
Lucky if i see 1 or 2 black women on any given night

Agreed. I see the same in my area but I think it would be location dependent. Like I’m sure if you went to Atlanta, DC, New York, Chicago, LA you’d probably see an even balance or maybe even more.

Kinda disappointing though, I think black women overall just don’t value staying in shape like some other women. That’s why I’m not mad at a breh for broadening his dating pool.

Well black men simp everything esp those jamaicans and nigerians

I remember I dated this girl ages and ages and ages ago, now she is fat but still got brehs simping any photo she drops on instagram, when chick is as fat as a old school fullback

no need to get in shape when taiwo and jaquinton calling you thick

Good point. Women as a whole aren’t held to any standard by men in mass. Most men so thirsty for ass that they will take what they can get.

 

[Brandsdale]

edit

 

[Ohene]

Agreed. I see the same in my area but I think it would be location dependent. Like I’m sure if you went to Atlanta, DC, New York, Chicago, LA you’d probably see an even balance or maybe even more.

Kinda disappointing though, I think black women overall just don’t value staying in shape like some other women. That’s why I’m not mad at a breh for broadening his dating pool.

I hear you but thats why i mention the proportion. If I see 15 white dudes and 10 white women, why am i seeing 7 black dudes and 1 white women. The ratio is way too off

And then God forbid you are dating a girl and try to get her into the habit of going to the gym. Even if they are already gym goers, they will jump off the habit for the slightest thing.

- Oh i've been tired lately
- Works been busy
- I didnt get enough sleep
- It's too cold outside

Like come on man. Even when I was working 70 hour weeks early in my career, I still would make a habit out of going to the gym at like 12AM if I had too for a quickie. Excuse after excuse with these chicks lol. It's no wonder why I see so many brehs with non-black women nowadays

In terms of the bolded i think a lot of them are blessed with features that are in nowadays and end up taking it for granted (i.e., curves). They dont realize if you dont have a good diet and arent active the weight gain is going to grow exponentially once you hit like 28 years old. shyt, I rarely even eat breakfast anymore as a result


prevalence of obesity among adults ages 20 and over, by sex, race, and Hispanic origin: United States, 2017–20187

Like look at this graph...this is disgusting. We all know how Asians be...but black men are the least obese while their women are the most by a HUUUUGE margin. Lord have fukkin mercy