I broke up with my fiance on the weekend.
She had a mental break a month ago. I tried my best to support her during her time in the hospital. I learned that she was abducted and raped 4 years ago. She was triggered by cases from work, she's a lawyer. We were going to get married next February. I talked to her while she was in hospital about delaying it due to the uncertainty of her work situation, and her lack of funds. I found out she has a lot of debt from law school and she does not have enough to pay for half of the wedding. I told her we can wait a few months and then we can get married. She agreed.
Then she spoke to a social worker who told it would be good to get married, and her mom who kept egging her on about getting the old date. I thought it would be too much for her to plan for a wedding in 6 months while she had her work problems, problems with bills and working through her trauma.
From then, I kept having to reassure her that we were going to get married and just because it's delayed, it didn't mean it wasn't going to happen.
Last Wednesday, she tried to bring it up again with her mom at our place. I told her I was uncomfortable talking about this with her mom shouting me down and we talked about it privately. We argued for hours.
Then she agreed. She wouldn't bring this up with her parents. Then, the next day, at brunch, she brought it up with them.
I was upset but I forgave her for it.
The next day, she brought it up again. And this time, she said it wasn't her fault that she was raped and that she shouldn't be punished for it, and that she expected me to honour my previous commitment to her.
I was trying to explain to her that doing everything so quickly is just going to stress her out and she did not listen. She just kept arguing with me like a lawyer would.
The next day, I tried to be as calm as possible. I had already broke up with her early on, but she begged me to come back. Before, it was because she would rather listen to her mom instead of me and her mom was trying to drive a wedge between my family and I. She forced me to either pick her or my family for some reason. I just wanted to have a weekend dinner with my family instead of with her parents.
Now, I didn't want her to cause a scene in public again. She left my condo and I ended up breaking up with her through text when she was with her friends.
Did I do the right thing or was I an a$$hole for doing this through text? I still love this woman and I wanted to support her through her trauma but we argued so much that she basically forced me to do this.
stopped texting her… now 4 days later she sends me texts and reels on instagram
she made her choice
