Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[kevm3]

major props to @Turbulent who told me that texting would be the move for that girl who doesnt speak much english. her friend answered the text back for her (in broken english) and we set something up last night. I at first wanted to holla on the phone, as thats what I typically prefer, but honestly that would have been difficult to have a phone conversion with someone who cant understand you.

so I set it up, its me, and her friends. I tell them that we should meet each other in the same place where we met (as I didnt want to give them all these new directions and confuse things more.) there was a bowling alley close by from that steakhouse, so I took em from there and we did that. Im okay with hanging with all of them too since Im not even serious about any of this. just doing it to have fun out chea. that kind of vibe was nice too, and it was a good change of pace. I wasnt "trying to get to know" anyone or on some other type of shyt. everyone was good, and at one point I figured I needed some time for myself, so I grabbed ol quiet girls hand (Yu Yu I think is how you spell her name) and took her outside with me.

I have this move, and I wanted to share it because it works a lot for me when Im with a new girl, and I want to make a move. I almost forgot it since its been ahile for me. we're walking outside for some air, and I put my hand either on her waist, lower back or shoulder. we walk together admiring the scene outside. it gets quiet, then out of nowhere I stop my pace, she walks and turns over to see me and what I stopped for - then I scoop her close in front of me and just take the kiss

you do this right, and go for it, it will work. she has a second where shes breathless and surprised, then you snatch that opportunity, lean in press your lips on her. its one big move, dont be stiff or wait on her.

you can be playful or more mackish, and have fun. if you are not awkward (waiting for her approval), and shes not a frigid bytch, then it will work. theres strength in that move. you literally take her in your arms and kiss her. its bold. I advise using it. the mood should be one of everyone having fun and chilling though. I wouldnt break this out in the middle of a serious, or depressing moment or some shyt

so we all having a good time and we head out to the beach. walking, they snapping flicks, Im with my arms around two of them. a light mood, thers really no probs. I didnt think I wanted to hang with her friends out there too, but it ended up pretty cool. there was no pressure or nothing, so everything went well. ol girl took me to see their room while her friends would go "hang out" in the lobby

props to the thread and Turbulent again, and this thread is helping bruhs out. lets keep it positive and maintain the understanding amongst each other.

That's the thing cats got to understand. They need to stop going out with the attempt to 'win' with women, as if they were playing some kind of game and the objective was to defeat their opposition-- the woman-- who is standing as a gatekeeper from them getting exactly what they want.

Go out and deal with women as a PERSON and focus on ENJOYING YOURSELF, and not how she is going to react or if you are 'winning' whatever you want from her. Think about how we are very comfortable when we are dealing with our friends. We don't think about what strategies we need to utilize to obtain something from them and how to 'win' with them. You have to take this same attitude when you go out with women.

Now you very well may have the objective in mind of whether or not you would like to make this woman yours, but never go into your interactions trying to 'win' because you are creating this sort of win-lose paradigm where you are looking at the woman as your opposition who you must overcome in order to feel 'good', which is tied to success... if you don't 'win her', then you start feeling bad and all this stress starts developing. When you look at dealing with women as a cooperation-- of you enjoying yourself and bringing her enjoyment, a lot of the fears melt away and you become much more natural.

Cats need to stop trying to 'win' with women and in turn making them some sort of opposition and instead dealing with them as a fun social interaction--aka a person, and from there, you can then decide where to take it much more comfortably.

 

[CrossBones]

one thing that hit me this afternoon as I was thinking about these topics that we build on and how the game goes, is that from the beginning women get placed on a higher value than men, because they innately know the game better. they start out with all of the advantages, and the simple principles that they hold on to for dear life. and that is to get, and hold, the upper hand. the one that says that they are the prize.

they are the ones that the opposite sex are always in pursuit of. can you imagine what it would be like if the roles were reversed? you wouldnt be entirely the same person you are now if that was the case. youd be gassed up like

but its that initial set up of being a man chasing a woman, and how you respond to it, that decides on what side you are going to fall into.

the mistake I see being made, is that women are being treated like theyre something that you need to validate yourself, and prove yourself to. that its the last word on your value as a man.

see when men let women decide their value, then they let women decide their fates. men have effectively removed themselves from the leadership role and what theyre worth. remember, market value is different everywhere. so if you let her low ball you, then that woman now has EVERYTHING over you.

you see it in bad marriages where the man is unhappy and the woman puts him down in public. he sold himself short. not just to the woman, but to himself. he doesnt even get up and set up shop elsewhere.

when it starts, you understand that you pursued her, and you initiated the interaction because you were already feeling something about her. this subconsciously puts you under her judgement. you are proving yourself to her.

but if you are only out there selling yourself to validate your product, then it puts you under her thumb and it affects your value and thoughts. simps, friendzones, and tricks had this happen to them. they let anothers judgement put them out of the game.

if you are doing so much to make things poppin' and find a girl, then why feel bad if a few dont feel you? everything you did and established about yourself, you can go and do with another one. have a blast somewhere else. why give them power over you? why stress it when you are rejected? men need to get over that. it gives the women the upper hand, when you care too much.


that one-itis, that tricking, or depression from being alone, all of that comes from men who've downgraded themselves. some men fear this so much, that feel like they need to play it extra safe. however superficial the reason might be, men pick up trends and expensive things just to get women to look at them. so we end up seeing the skinny jeans, the metro look, big jewels, and the trick ass simp music, or that soft shoed, submissive male attitude being celebrated "because bytches like it." its all the little things that begin to take away your power and upper hand just in order to make a woman temporarily appeased

again, thats not being confident or a leader, and its all a part of why they take so much advantage of men today. you let them lead, decide your value, and thus youve lost the upper hand. in the beginning you let her know that you are after her, and with that she can and will use that dynamic to get what she wants from you. its her leverage when she tells you that your product aint all that, and you feel under her. in which case, you failed.

its simple, but men miss out on this, and some continue to let this dynamic go on ... to where a woman will have the final word in their relationships. you can do the new age stuff where you want a more equal footing with her, or just be a man and take the lead, but either way you can never give her the upper hand. it can shut you down and have you doing stupid things.

what is missing these days from a lot of men, is that once the ball is in your court and you have her attention, THAT is when you need to begin the shift. the reversal comes from your attitude. see you may be "selling" yourself to her at first, in a manner of speaking, but what you are really doing is demonstrating why she should see the benefit of being with you. you are not supposed to be getting across that you want her badly. or that this relationship completes you and validates you. that is a misstep and it puts you under her.

women know they are judging you, and can front harder than men. so they will keep their upper hand for as long as possible. yet what you have to do is ultimately call her bluff or just walk.

some men go in for that hard sell, so to speak, and it makes them look desperate and needy of the womans attention. they are extra loud, try to ball in the open, or just have that insecure ass game. theyre trying too hard. those are the ones that once they do get a girl, they get possesive, jealous, and desperate over her butt. those are the dj envys, the simps, the blade runner guy who killed his chick through the bathroom door, the crying chris browns etc.

and thats not the attitude you should have at all. if youre selling yourself, then you need to show them how your product is so good and so together, that it practically moves itself. have that attitude, that if SHE doesnt get aboard, then SHES the one missing out. because youre ready to take this product (the real prize) and sell it elsewhere. this is her chance, and thats all she gets. thats what you need to convey

I want to say, that there is no problem with having a high value of yourself. whether a man or woman. but since we, men, are in constant pursuit of them and opening ourselves to be judged and rejected, it puts a lot of pressure that can lead us to make mistakes and forced decisions. we let them tell us if we're good money or not. and really, thats not the case. what has to happen is that you get over rejection, and letting them validate you. then you will be in control of your choices.

 

[CrossBones]

That's the thing cats got to understand. They need to stop going out with the attempt to 'win' with women, as if they were playing some kind of game and the objective was to defeat their opposition-- the woman-- who is standing as a gatekeeper from them getting exactly what they want.

Go out and deal with women as a PERSON and focus on ENJOYING YOURSELF, and not how she is going to react or if you are 'winning' whatever you want from her. Think about how we are very comfortable when we are dealing with our friends. We don't think about what strategies we need to utilize to obtain something from them and how to 'win' with them. You have to take this same attitude when you go out with women.

Now you very well may have the objective in mind of whether or not you would like to make this woman yours, but never go into your interactions trying to 'win' because you are creating this sort of win-lose paradigm where you are looking at the woman as your opposition who you must overcome in order to feel 'good', which is tied to success... if you don't 'win her', then you start feeling bad and all this stress starts developing. When you look at dealing with women as a cooperation-- of you enjoying yourself and bringing her enjoyment, a lot of the fears melt away and you become much more natural.

Cats need to stop trying to 'win' with women and in turn making them some sort of opposition and instead dealing with them as a fun social interaction--aka a person, and from there, you can then decide where to take it much more comfortably.

funny, I just wrote a big ass post, and it said nearly the same thing you said

 

[kevm3]

funny, I just wrote a big ass post, and it said nearly the same thing you said

Honestly man, we think very much a like.

 

[CrossBones]

the second part of what I said is, men need to be more choosy on who theyre selling themselves to. that is to say, if this customer is not compatible or not all there, then you need to pick up and take your wares elsewhere. and fast. if you see problems, take your show on the road.

getting over the rejection and fear of "failure" (which is not always a bad thing) will make it so you know youre good anywhere else. so always have your product (you) in top order and excellent condition. trust me, it breeds respect for you, when you show your own support for yourself.

as we are the men out there, looking for a good companion, we are something of a traveling salesmen, so to speak. the big problem is that we might treat a pretty face, some kind words, and a nice facade as something of more worth than it is. and at worse, as having more worth than us. thats their offer or counter offer. but thats exactly how you could get caught up. always read the fine print.

you buying into her pretty offer, when really all youre getting is IOUs is not the business. when youre out here, what you are supposed to do is find the right buyer. someone who completely buys into what youve got. a believer in you. a "customer" that knows how to pay you back at your designated price.

dont let her act like shes doing you a favor for being with you (ie youre lucky that she is supporting your product). if that happens, best believe that she will try to trade you in, get a new product, or toss you aside. that respect has to be there, so you cant settle for lesser. dont cheapen your own worth. dont act like you NEED to sell yourself, just know that you are what makes things go round, and are the light that makes things bright.

 

[kevm3]

Let's speak on confidence. Let's get these corny pick-up artist terms 'alpha male' and 'beta male' out of here. We've been had terms for that, aka real man and simp. Real manhood goes far beyond validating yourself by how many coochies you and weasel your way into.

As a man, you need to be thoroughly developed and rooted BEFORE you deal with a woman or else you're going to step into an arena not knowing what you are doing. This is some of the most powerful 'game' you will ever hear. If you don't control your thoughts, someone else will. If you don't control your actions, someone else will. YOU... Your individuality is really the only thing that is truly unique to you, so why in the world would you willingly give that away to someone else? Now, something you really want to do before you really start getting out here is to start crystalizing that 'fly guy' credo I told you about earlier as well as deciding what you want and what principles you will stand on.

When it comes to confidence, it's all based on what YOU think, but it will be based on whether you willingly let OTHERS decide your confidence level or do you choose the level of confidence yourself. If you let your confidence be externally decided, your confidence will always be up and down because you can never predict what anyone else will think or what they will do. It is a truly turbulent way of living. Now when you make confidence INTERNAL and take control of it yourself and firmly root it in real knowledge, then THAT'S where you will get real confidence. You have to look in the mirror and like yourself. I didn't say be in love wtih yourself and be one of those extra arrogant cats who fawn all over themselves and worship themselves. You have to be able to look in the mirror and accept who you are and use what you've been given to really start transforming yourself into this individual you really want to be. You have to start liking yourself and if there are elements about yourself you don't like you need to work on them until you eliminate them. Once you accept and like yourself, then you need to put some coating around it and not let the opinions of others start affecting how much you like yourself. Once you become firmly rooted in that, then you will naturally be confident.

Now, another thing is... never attempt to PROJECT. Never say am I projecting manhood? Am I projecting the right things? What you need to do is to BE. BE a man and manhood will naturally project off of you. BE confident and confidence will naturally project off of you. When you are attempting to project, you are recognizing that you aren't and you're attempting to fake it... and while you may be a convincing facsimile for a while, it won't last. Don't worry about what you're projecting. Worry about what you're being, and when you start being that righteous, confident, cool individual, then people will naturally be able to sense that.

 

[kevm3]

One thing you really got to do is find happiness. Be happy. When you are there, then when you deal with people, it will reflect. Once you have found your zone of happiness, you don't let anyone close to you unless they ENHANCE your happiness. If not, you get them away from you.

An attitude you will start to develop is you will enjoy yourself any and everywhere you go, and when you are out and DO see a woman you like, she better watch out because she might get captured lol.

 

[kevm3]

Last piece of knowledge. Dealing with women really isn't about secret tips and techniques and magical bullets. It's about expressing yourself to the fullest within the context of being a man, and accepting nothing less than the best for yourself and for the woman you deal with.

 

[MikelArteta]

To the guy with the single mom, there is nothing you can do or say, buying gifts being the dependable guy, but you will just end up being used and hurt.

She wants her baby dad, back off stay away, redflags all over breh

Sent from royalty using Tapatalk breh

 

[Rocket Scientist]

I went out over the weekend with a young woman I knew from college.We were at Starbucks having an intellectual conversation about everything.

 

[Poh SIti Dawn]

Told my Ex off today after she tried hitting me up on some text buddy Adele someone like you bullshyt, not gonna lie finally feel bad, but at the same time good. Wasted 2 years on that bytch, damn sure aint about to waste another 2. Sent her ass this video too.

[ame=http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iLw8ErkT7io]Suga Free - On My Way - YouTube[/ame]

 

[kevm3]

the second part of what I said is, men need to be more choosy on who theyre selling themselves to. that is to say, if this customer is not compatible or not all there, then you need to pick up and take your wares elsewhere. and fast. if you see problems, take your show on the road.

getting over the rejection and fear of "failure" (which is not always a bad thing) will make it so you know youre good anywhere else. so always have your product (you) in top order and excellent condition. trust me, it breeds respect for you, when you show your own support for yourself.

as we are the men out there, looking for a good companion, we are something of a traveling salesmen, so to speak. the big problem is that we might treat a pretty face, some kind words, and a nice facade as something of more worth than it is. and at worse, as having more worth than us. thats their offer or counter offer. but thats exactly how you could get caught up. always read the fine print.

you buying into her pretty offer, when really all youre getting is IOUs is not the business. when youre out here, what you are supposed to do is find the right buyer. someone who completely buys into what youve got. a believer in you. a "customer" that knows how to pay you back at your designated price.

dont let her act like shes doing you a favor for being with you (ie youre lucky that she is supporting your product). if that happens, best believe that she will try to trade you in, get a new product, or toss you aside. that respect has to be there, so you cant settle for lesser. dont cheapen your own worth. dont act like you NEED to sell yourself, just know that you are what makes things go round, and are the light that makes things bright.

When I really sit and think about it, what people really have a fear of is fear of success. They have the incorrect mindset in regards to dealing with women, and once they shift it around a little bit, their whole world will open up. When a woman rejects you, that's not failure, but rather that's a success. Why? Because it tells you that that woman is not for you. She's one less woman to worry about on your mission to find the best. If she turned you down, she just did a favor by preventing you from wasting your time by letting you know where she stood with you up-front. That just means you have to take your wares to someone else who is really interested in buying it. The ones that SHOULD annoy us are the ones who sit around acting like they are interested, asking all these questions, and end up not buying.

Most cats have the "I must win or else I lose" paradigm of thinking, which makes dealing with women some kind of high-stress event, but cats really need to take the Thomas Edison approach of a rejection is merely a step to success because it helps eliminate what doesn't work... so no matter what, you win, and the only way to lose is by not trying.

 

[CrossBones]

When I really sit and think about it, what people really have a fear of is fear of success. They have the incorrect mindset in regards to dealing with women, and once they shift it around a little bit, their whole world will open up. When a woman rejects you, that's not failure, but rather that's a success. Why? Because it tells you that that woman is not for you. She's one less woman to worry about on your mission to find the best. If she turned you down, she just did a favor by preventing you from wasting your time by letting you know where she stood with you up-front. That just means you have to take your wares to someone else who is really interested in buying it. The ones that SHOULD annoy us are the ones who sit around acting like they are interested, asking all these questions, and end up not buying.

Most cats have the "I must win or else I lose" paradigm of thinking, which makes dealing with women some kind of high-stress event, but cats really need to take the Thomas Edison approach of a rejection is merely a step to success because it helps eliminate what doesn't work... so no matter what, you win, and the only way to lose is by not trying.

I can see what you saying. the more that something is forced into being, the less right it is. like if you have to go hard to "win over" a broad, chances are that she wasnt (or wont be) feeling you, or that you two just plain dont match. trying to create a winning situation out of something that wasnt meant to be, wont make it come out right.

thats like all the s out there trying to make a certain kind of woman into something shes not. its not worth it, and it wont work.

the more that something isnt authentic, the more effort and wasted energy becomes spent on it. it shouldnt be something forced, it should come from a place where its true and it comes natural for those involved. I feel that.

 

[CrossBones]

I feel like so much of the game is played on such a superficial level, that we're not taught enough on dealing with the deeper aspects of it. we want more looks from women? we work out. we want to holla at the hottest bytch on the block? we get our money up. we want to lock a chick down for life for her sex (a no no), we seed it up and get her pregnant with our baby. and I also feel that a lot of women operate on a highly superficial level, since they fall for those things. relationships are extremely juvenile and selfish with a lot of folks that I see today. theres no goal for a greater good. then people wonder why theres so many divorces, and so much cheating.

so many times when I see the advice for getting with a female from older heads and peers, it is to step your game up. but we dont talk about future planning, saving money, seeing the world, getting your goals in order before getting into a commitment that could endanger it, or things that could really get our life game up. its hard to find good knowledge out there. one of the best things is to go through some things, and to see things you DONT want, and learn to avoid it. but instead of being so defensive, we also need an offensive game. the trick is to go out there and do some of this, and some of that, depending on what gives and what doesnt.

 

[kevm3]

I can see what you saying. the more that something is forced into being, the less right it is. like if you have to go hard to "win over" a broad, chances are that she wasnt feeling you, or that you two just dont match. trying to create a winning situation out of something that wasnt meant to be, wont make it come out right.

thats like all the s out there trying to make a certain woman into something shes not. its not worth it, and it wont work.

the more that something isnt authentic, the more effort and wasted energy becomes spent on it. it shouldnt be something forced, it should come from a place where its true and it comes natural for those involved. I feel that.

When it comes down to it, all we have are two choices. We can sit back and be ourselves, the best version of ourselves possible, or we can try to be someone else. People who try to be someone else in order to capture a female show a serious lack of confidence because they view themselves as not worthy of a woman and therefore, they have to start pretending to be what they imagine that woman likes. But really, what is so special about any woman that you have to view yourself on a lesser level and you have to actually put on a whole false persona in order to capture her? What is she bringing to the table that is so special? Let's be real here... the only thing that intimidates most men is that a woman looks good. That's it... but what is so impressive about that when you see all these good looking women dealing with grandpa Hugh Hefner because he has money? Or you see these good looking women going back stage and doing any and everything with some rapper or rnb star? You might see a fine woman pass by but if I told you she was a prostitute and just let 5 guys go at her back to back, all of a sudden you are no longer impressed or intimidated by her. So as you can see, it's all a mind game. We, as men, place looks upon this high pedestal and give beautiful women unjustified influence on how we view ourselves. Looks are lovely, but how many 50 year old women do you just go crazy over? So looks fade. Once you get over the looks bug and this 'win-lose' paradigm with women and go more on that Edison paradigm, things become much more fun.

Now, we said there were two choices. Be you, or be someone else. If you are someone else, what happens when you do manage to catch the woman? You will eventually lose her because that act you put up will become way too tiring to maintain. Then the 'real you' will come out and the persona she was attracted to will disappear and she will wonder why you changed and peel off. The woman that will be there with you is the one you caught by being you, because she will always be getting what she liked in the first place. The key though is once you catch her by being you, you have to prevent your emotions from turning you into something else. You caught her being Mr. Cool, but now you really start developing feelings for her... you have to continue being Mr. Cool and avoid turning into a snuggle bear. What you caught her with is what you have to keep her with.

Now, true confidence comes when you truly realize you are a worthy individual and thus you have no need to 'prove' anything. You have accepted yourself and like yourself and you're always improving yourself. The attitude you will eventually develop is like a master martial artist. The true masters aren't running around telling everyone how bad they are and trying to show you how bad they are. They already know they are bad... so they have a quiet confidence which comes from knowing that if you test them, they will dismantle you. They know what they are capable of, so they have no need to prove. With that comes the realization that you no longer have to try to impress women because you naturally come off as impressive... and the woman who can't recognize that in you is the woman you don't need to be with. When you are real about something, you don't have to expend effort to try to 'project' something because you know you ARE it and it will naturally project off of you.

You ever seen someone who seemed to play a role to a tee, but there was always something 'off' about them? Those are master projectionists. Then there are those guys who never speak a word, but you look at them and you know what they are and what they are about. Those are the guys that are real about what they do.

So with the whole, never project thirst... the real answer is never BE thirsty. How do you do that? Have several activities you are always doing and don't put women that high on the totem pole. Make putting women beneath your other priorities something you just DO, so that it's an ingrained part of your routine. That's when you become 'natural' with it. Realize that unless she's given you a firm commitment that she wants to rock with you and has backed it up with action, realize that a lot of other women want to deal with you and you will have to analyze their worthiness as well, all while being up front with all of them.

Not feeling confident about yourself? Take the time to realize WHICH elements about yourself that you don't like and then work on them until that weakness is gone. Then your confidence will firmly start taking root when you start seeing that you're becoming the individual you really wanted to be. You also have to learn to remove your self-worth from outside validation... in other words, you have to be able to feel worthy without someone else telling you you are worthy. This is when you really start being able to deal with women naturally because you feel you yourself is enough for a woman and a woman who can't realize that isn't worthy of you spending your time on her.

When I said way back you have to have the Boss mentality, I meant it 5,000%. The problem a lot of cats have is that they are trying to WIN women. Instead, you are here to give a woman an opportunity. There is a big difference between the two. When you are trying to win a woman, you are looking at her value as higher than yours and you open yourself up to doing anything to obtain her. On the other hand, when you are giving her an opportunity, she has to come at YOU in the right way or you will take your time elsewhere. Cats that try to 'win' women are the ones who are looking for tips and techniques to try to dismantle some broad's stanking personality... trying to dismantle her ice shield and trying to work past all her nonsense. When you are giving a woman an opportunity, as if you are the boss hiring someone for your company, are you going to put up with your possible new hire giving you lip and trying to make you work for answers? You'll dismiss them and look for the next candidate.

The key to truly having game is NOT in knowing what kind of tricks to use and what kind of fake persona you need to craft in order to try to impress some woman... True game is in knowing you are a worthy individual, and learning to express yourself to the fullest without being ashamed of yourself in any manner and to only deal with those who can truly see your value. Any other way is like trying to sell a shrimp platter to someone who doesn't like seafood. You're wasting your time, when you could easily sell that platter to someone who absolutely loves sea food. Don't waste the opportunities you give on someone who doesn't want it or can't appreciate it.

Now, final point is, cats have a lot of problems because of the aforementioned point of trying to WIN a woman. They want to convince this or that woman to 'act right', but have this added stipulation in her contract that she cannot be fired no matter how she acts. She knows she can get away with her nasty behavior and still be kept around, so she has no real incentive to act better. Cats are scared of firing or dismissing a woman because they place way too high of an emphasis on looks or some other factor. What REALLY is impressive about a woman is how she acts. You ever notice how women you aren't really feeling, you never seem to have problems with them? They aren't the ones flaking. They are the ones right on time. They aren't the ones smart-talking you. They come with disrespect. You know why that is? Because you aren't afraid to be yourself around them and you won't accept any of their wack behavior. When you can apply that same litmus test to women you actually like is when you will really be on it.