Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Turbulent]

To give some brehs an update on the girl who works in the same hospital as me and has a kid.

We have hung out a few times alone and a few times with her cousins who I have known and worked with before.

She told me she is trying to work it out with her baby daddy, but I don't think that's the case. I think she is bullshytting and holding out hope that one day he will come back.

Let's keep it real... he barely makes an effort when it comes to her and only makes an effort when it comes to their kid. We hung out with her coworkers for her birthday and she invited him, but he did not come because he said he was broke. Her birthday was last week and I got her some flowers. He did not get her shyt and she made a comment that her ex would only send her flowers if it was her funeral. Sure sounds like she is trying to work it out?

careful with that one breh...

 

[sixsixtwo]

Took girl out for the night. Followed her from store to store and bought her things while being subjected to a lot of rambling about some amazing "new" boyfriend. : confession

 

[T-K-G]

To give some brehs an update on the girl who works in the same hospital as me and has a kid.

We have hung out a few times alone and a few times with her cousins who I have known and worked with before.

She told me she is trying to work it out with her baby daddy, but I don't think that's the case. I think she is bullshytting and holding out hope that one day he will come back.

Let's keep it real... he barely makes an effort when it comes to her and only makes an effort when it comes to their kid. We hung out with her coworkers for her birthday and she invited him, but he did not come because he said he was broke. Her birthday was last week and I got her some flowers. He did not get her shyt and she made a comment that her ex would only send her flowers if it was her funeral. Sure sounds like she is trying to work it out?

i hope you're not bragging about your behavior nikka




leave that bytch alone breh she's broken

 

[kevm3]

To give some brehs an update on the girl who works in the same hospital as me and has a kid.

We have hung out a few times alone and a few times with her cousins who I have known and worked with before.

She told me she is trying to work it out with her baby daddy, but I don't think that's the case. I think she is bullshytting and holding out hope that one day he will come back.

Let's keep it real... he barely makes an effort when it comes to her and only makes an effort when it comes to their kid. We hung out with her coworkers for her birthday and she invited him, but he did not come because he said he was broke. Her birthday was last week and I got her some flowers. He did not get her shyt and she made a comment that her ex would only send her flowers if it was her funeral. Sure sounds like she is trying to work it out?

She's sprung on the ex. You see how she's on him even though he hasn't bought her anything, but you gave her flowers? Never attempt to catch a woman with gifts... only with letting her see your value and letting her demonstrate if she wants to take it further. When a woman brings up the ex, that's a clear sign to leave it alone. Women will not really do that in the presence of a man they really want to deal with... unless they are just trashing their ex.

 

[Turbulent]

She's sprung on the ex. You see how she's on him even though he hasn't bought her anything, but you gave her flowers? Never attempt to catch a woman with gifts... only with letting her see your value and letting her demonstrate if she wants to take it further. When a woman brings up the ex, that's a clear sign to leave it alone. Women will not really do that in the presence of a man they really want to deal with... unless they are just trashing their ex.

truth.

also if i bring his situations within the concept of "Options" i was talking about earlier, the girl in his situation basically has 3 options that he provides to her.

A. Pursue things with him romantically
B. Cut him off completely
C. Remain "cool" with him and accept the attention he's giving anything back (flowers, time, etc)

He's willfully giving her these three options. Because she's not feeling him that much she's gonna pick C since it requires the least sacrifice on her part. Pursuing with him romantically means she's giving up p*ssy power and cutting him off means she's giving up the attention.


meanwhile her Ex provides 2 options:

A. she waits for him while they "work things out"
B. She cuts him off completely and only contacts him for the parental obligations

no third option of doing what she wants. Faced with these only two options she picks the one she perceives as the greater value. She doesn't want to lose the "hope" of thing working out between them.

Not saying you have to be an a$$hole or a jerk about it though. I don't think you should abuse your power. but at the same time never forget you have that power. what you do with it is your choice ultimately.

 

[Poh SIti Dawn]

almost. it's actually more simple than that. it's not exactly unconscious. your intentions should be clear (keeping it real with yourself and with her). Sometimes it has to be communicated verbally (asking for her number, asking her out) and sometimes you can make your intentions clear with your body language (wanting to kiss her, wanting to sleep with her, most intimate contact). when you make your intentions clear you're giving her that option of also kissing you/going out/fukking. If she refuses, you respect her boundaries but at the same time ALWAYS remember that you can always choose not to give her attention or time. Don't be pushy but at the same time don't accept her terms if it's not something you want. You choose which options you want to provide to her and one of them is always that she could stop being with you. But i strongly advise to make your intentions clear. You're making her choices more simple that way and you're increasing your odds of cooperation from her.

In other words, don't think too hard about this. just have the right mindset (evacuate stress and neediness), know yourself and what you want, let her know (verbally or body language wise) and respect her boundaries but more importantly also respect your boundaries of what you're willing to give (and remember you can throw her in the bushes at anytime)


Might be wrong but i think you're nervous because you're too worried about what she's specifically thinking or wants.

What i said is just how i typically do it. Doesn't have to be followed rigidly. You just cal her when you feel and she will either want to or she won't. If she's not down to do something don't lose sleep over it man. whatever she decides doesn't have any impact on who you are. That's kind of why i like to tell them "I'll call you tomorrow". that way my intentions are clear. She knows i'm not playing the "I'm not gonna call you for X days to make you think XYZ". My intentions are clear. then i call the next day and she's either still feeling me or she isn't. either way my conscience is clear cause I kept it real. If she fronts on me or plays games, i just assume she's not feeling me that much or not ready to keep it real so i move on. She may later reconsider and get back to you, or she may not how much benefit of the doubt you give them when you feel they are playing games with you depends on your patience. Funny thing is, older i'm getting, less patience i find myself having...Call, try to reconnect with her, when you feel the connection is on (when you get her feel and she gets yours and you guys just feel comfortable with eachother) ask her out. Calling her sunday isn't a bad thing.

If texting them works for you, do that. it's about you man. Do your thing. When you read stuff from us, just keep an open mind and take whatever you want from it and leave what doesn't work for you. As long as YOU are comfortable with the way you do things and your results, that's all that really matters.


EDIT: the movie Swingers goes into these themes in very funny ways.

Hug first date, kiss 2nd or third. As far as letting her know what I want light gentile touches. Yeah, in other words don't accept being friends if that's what I don't want. And it makes sense, why should you settle for less in hopes of gaining more, if it hasn't happened yet then I most likely won't ever happen and if it were to finally happen, would it truly be sincere? Most likely not.

That's good, what you do is you basically give them a blueprint to follow, that way if they follow then there's success, if not then its whatever you can always find another.

I wanna call her, I'm just nervous and am not sure what to say. I know that texting would be way easier, but I know calling is going to raise my game/confidence levels way up. And I know making the call in the end is going to make me improve tremendously. And I figure if she answers she'll respect it because she's Russian, probably traditional as fukk and making the call is a pretty ballsy move, especially when it comes to most guys that I know, they'd rather pull hoes off of Facebook or twitter.

 

[Turbulent]

Hug first date, kiss 2nd or third. As far as letting her know what I want light gentile touches. Yeah, in other words don't accept being friends if that's what I don't want. And it makes sense, why should you settle for less in hopes of gaining more, if it hasn't happened yet then I most likely won't ever happen and if it were to finally happen, would it truly be sincere? Most likely not.

That's good, what you do is you basically give them a blueprint to follow, that way if they follow then there's success, if not then its whatever you can always find another.

I wanna call her, I'm just nervous and am not sure what to say. I know that texting would be way easier, but I know calling is going to raise my game/confidence levels way up. And I know making the call in the end is going to make me improve tremendously. And I figure if she answers she'll respect it because she's Russian, probably traditional as fukk and making the call is a pretty ballsy move, especially when it comes to most guys that I know, they'd rather pull hoes off of Facebook or twitter.

exactly. I like the way you put it (blueprint to follow). and she's allowed to quit at any step of it. Also, the way you present the options depends on your style. everyone has their own style. Some people are more blunt/harsh/aggressive, some more diplomatic, some more poetic, some more physical and less about words. Don't be ashamed of wanting what you want or not wanting something and don't apologize for it. Don't necessarily have to be an a$$hole either. be respectful of yourself and of her freedom. heck, she might even offer stuff first (she might invite you on a date or to her place, touch you, etc) and then it's on you to accept or not depending on what you feel and what your boundaries are. But yeah, you definitely get it. Also, you'll find that the ones who choose the option of not following you sometimes come back later down the line (sometimes days later sometimes YEARS later, lol) either way, you just move on and like you said, on to the next one. I know i'm sounding like a broken record but Black Phillip really breaks it down like no other and the shyt is funny as fukk. I don't agree with everything they say on the show 100% but he lays down the concept philosophically and practically as well (with callers calling in with their own situations)



For the girl, try to calm down first. relax and get your mind right. When you call, just try to re-establish rapport with her. try to get her to connect again a little. it kinda depends on your style and how you were while you met her. I can't really give you a troubleshoot cause it's really freestyling at this point. One thing i'll tell you that might happen is she might tell you she doesn't remember you (probably fronting). Maybe try to figure out vaguely how you would handle something like that. Don't lie (lying while nervous = disaster). The MOST important thing is to get your mind right. you can't plan a convo too much. You can prepare your mindset so that the actions and words you will freestyle are born out of a serene state of mind. You can't control what she'll do or say or think. You can only control these things for yourself and that's where your power is. but yeah, try to see what mood she's in. she might need a little bit of chatting up before you ask her out. establish rapport and make your move. either she accepts or refuses. don't be needy. if she says she can't because blalabla, don't offer something else. wait for her to make a counter offer. if she doesn't that means it's probably not worth the effort trying to charm her even more. she probably just isn't feeling you that much. but that doesn't define you. don't be bitter about it, you still stayed true to yourself and gained experience. if you want it, go for it!

 

[Wild self]

It's funny just how valid a lot of the advice we've been kicking in this thread has turned out to be. All of this is common sense. Is it really any surprise that praising someone non-stop and telling them they are some kind of royalty without having to have any qualifications for it will result in someone who is obnoxiously entitled? There are even articles about this manifesting:



Here's another one:
Parents 'risk turning their daughters into spoilt princesses by letting them dress up' | Mail Online


I mean, why are no standards ever applied to women? Men won't let their son walk around thinking he's a little king and giving him nonstop praise because they know if he takes that attitude outside the house, he's going to get his butt whipped by other boys and he's potentially going to catch him a sexual harrassment charge in his future when he starts thinking he can 'do no wrong.' It's no wonder so many females can't take criticism when you got simped out dads or single moms just reinforcing and praising these women nonstop.

Yup. What is why you got these women think their pussies are made out of gold.

 

[DaRealness]

It's funny just how valid a lot of the advice we've been kicking in this thread has turned out to be. All of this is common sense. Is it really any surprise that praising someone non-stop and telling them they are some kind of royalty without having to have any qualifications for it will result in someone who is obnoxiously entitled? There are even articles about this manifesting:



Here's another one:
Parents 'risk turning their daughters into spoilt princesses by letting them dress up' | Mail Online


I mean, why are no standards ever applied to women? Men won't let their son walk around thinking he's a little king and giving him nonstop praise because they know if he takes that attitude outside the house, he's going to get his butt whipped by other boys and he's potentially going to catch him a sexual harrassment charge in his future when he starts thinking he can 'do no wrong.' It's no wonder so many females can't take criticism when you got simped out dads or single moms just reinforcing and praising these women nonstop.

Reminds me of this video right here:

[ame=http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhCOHhvD6Z7oJhV6q3]Video: Worked So Hard So Don't Mess It Up: Wedding Speech Of The Week (Father To Son-In-Law)[/ame]

It's like, really dude....the groom is somebody's child too.

 

[DaRealness]

To give some brehs an update on the girl who works in the same hospital as me and has a kid.

We have hung out a few times alone and a few times with her cousins who I have known and worked with before.

She told me she is trying to work it out with her baby daddy, but I don't think that's the case. I think she is bullshytting and holding out hope that one day he will come back.

Let's keep it real... he barely makes an effort when it comes to her and only makes an effort when it comes to their kid. We hung out with her coworkers for her birthday and she invited him, but he did not come because he said he was broke. Her birthday was last week and I got her some flowers. He did not get her shyt and she made a comment that her ex would only send her flowers if it was her funeral. Sure sounds like she is trying to work it out?

 

[CrossBones]

major props to @Turbulent who told me that texting would be the move for that girl who doesnt speak much english. her friend answered the text back for her (in broken english) and we set something up last night. I at first wanted to holla on the phone, as thats what I typically prefer, but honestly that would have been difficult to have a phone conversion with someone who cant understand you.

so I set it up, its me, and her friends. I tell them that we should meet each other in the same place where we met (as I didnt want to give them all these new directions and confuse things more.) there was a bowling alley close by from that steakhouse, so I took em from there and we did that. Im okay with hanging with all of them too since Im not even serious about any of this. just doing it to have fun out chea. that kind of vibe was nice too, and it was a good change of pace. I wasnt "trying to get to know" anyone or on some other type of shyt. everyone was good, and at one point I figured I needed some time for myself, so I grabbed ol quiet girls hand (Yu Yu I think is how you spell her name) and took her outside with me.

I have this move, and I wanted to share it because it works a lot for me when Im with a new girl, and I want to make a move. I almost forgot it since its been ahile for me. we're walking outside for some air, and I put my hand either on her waist, lower back or shoulder. we walk together admiring the scene outside. it gets quiet, then out of nowhere I stop my pace, she walks and turns over to see me and what I stopped for - then I scoop her close in front of me and just take the kiss

you do this right, and go for it, it will work. she has a second where shes breathless and surprised, then you snatch that opportunity, lean in press your lips on her. its one big move, dont be stiff or wait on her.

you can be playful or more mackish, and have fun. if you are not awkward (waiting for her approval), and shes not a frigid bytch, then it will work. theres strength in that move. you literally take her in your arms and kiss her. its bold. I advise using it. the mood should be one of everyone having fun and chilling though. I wouldnt break this out in the middle of a serious, or depressing moment or some shyt

so we all having a good time and we head out to the beach. walking, they snapping flicks, Im with my arms around two of them. a light mood, thers really no probs. I didnt think I wanted to hang with her friends out there too, but it ended up pretty cool. there was no pressure or nothing, so everything went well. ol girl took me to see their room while her friends would go "hang out" in the lobby

props to the thread and Turbulent again, and this thread is helping bruhs out. lets keep it positive and maintain the understanding amongst each other.

 

[kevm3]

truth.

also if i bring his situations within the concept of "Options" i was talking about earlier, the girl in his situation basically has 3 options that he provides to her.

A. Pursue things with him romantically
B. Cut him off completely
C. Remain "cool" with him and accept the attention he's giving anything back (flowers, time, etc)

He's willfully giving her these three options. Because she's not feeling him that much she's gonna pick C since it requires the least sacrifice on her part. Pursuing with him romantically means she's giving up p*ssy power and cutting him off means she's giving up the attention.


meanwhile her Ex provides 2 options:

A. she waits for him while they "work things out"
B. She cuts him off completely and only contacts him for the parental obligations

no third option of doing what she wants. Faced with these only two options she picks the one she perceives as the greater value. She doesn't want to lose the "hope" of thing working out between them.

Not saying you have to be an a$$hole or a jerk about it though. I don't think you should abuse your power. but at the same time never forget you have that power. what you do with it is your choice ultimately.

This is real. Cats definitely have to start considering the options they are leaving women when they deal with them. Are you leaving her the option to put you into text buddy or jokey joke man category or are you only leaving her the option to deal with you as a serious suitor? The more options you leave a woman to categorize you in, the less likely you will get the one you desire.

 

[Poh SIti Dawn]

exactly. I like the way you put it (blueprint to follow). and she's allowed to quit at any step of it. Also, the way you present the options depends on your style. everyone has their own style. Some people are more blunt/harsh/aggressive, some more diplomatic, some more poetic, some more physical and less about words. Don't be ashamed of wanting what you want or not wanting something and don't apologize for it. Don't necessarily have to be an a$$hole either. be respectful of yourself and of her freedom. heck, she might even offer stuff first (she might invite you on a date or to her place, touch you, etc) and then it's on you to accept or not depending on what you feel and what your boundaries are. But yeah, you definitely get it. Also, you'll find that the ones who choose the option of not following you sometimes come back later down the line (sometimes days later sometimes YEARS later, lol) either way, you just move on and like you said, on to the next one. I know i'm sounding like a broken record but Black Phillip really breaks it down like no other and the shyt is funny as fukk. I don't agree with everything they say on the show 100% but he lays down the concept philosophically and practically as well (with callers calling in with their own situations)



For the girl, try to calm down first. relax and get your mind right. When you call, just try to re-establish rapport with her. try to get her to connect again a little. it kinda depends on your style and how you were while you met her. I can't really give you a troubleshoot cause it's really freestyling at this point. One thing i'll tell you that might happen is she might tell you she doesn't remember you (probably fronting). Maybe try to figure out vaguely how you would handle something like that. Don't lie (lying while nervous = disaster). The MOST important thing is to get your mind right. you can't plan a convo too much. You can prepare your mindset so that the actions and words you will freestyle are born out of a serene state of mind. You can't control what she'll do or say or think. You can only control these things for yourself and that's where your power is. but yeah, try to see what mood she's in. she might need a little bit of chatting up before you ask her out. establish rapport and make your move. either she accepts or refuses. don't be needy. if she says she can't because blalabla, don't offer something else. wait for her to make a counter offer. if she doesn't that means it's probably not worth the effort trying to charm her even more. she probably just isn't feeling you that much. but that doesn't define you. don't be bitter about it, you still stayed true to yourself and gained experience. if you want it, go for it!

Naw that shyt makes a lot of sense, I'm not even going to lie I'm absorbing this game and using it to benefit me. Some broad asked me what I was doing this spring break and I told her bettering myself. I think this thread has helped me a lot especially when it comes to dealing with women. Funny thing about those ones that you're talking about, they usually realize after not having shyt or having something shytty that they figure out that every opportunity given is an opportunity to be taken, and just because you have a p*ssy doesn't mean you can diss someone cause you have many open choices. And is this Black Phillip shyt on yt?

Yeah a bit of conversing first, just to get her open and then I'll ask her. The funny thing about the girl is you said "Calm down, relax, etc" when I was nervous about approaching her I kind of just said to myself that she's just a girl, nothing more and nothing less, and isn't important until I make her important, and after that I approached her, spoke with her, sat down and we chatted, got her number and dipped. So I think psyching myself out is the issue, but I just need to realize this shyt doesn't make or break me.

Another funny thing is that my ex just hit me up, it's weird because after spending time in this thread I don't even feel like excited or emotions when I saw her text about how in her gym they were playing sade and how it reminded her of me, instead I just thought "oh she probably realizes she doesn't have a hold of me anymore" and it feels good to know that I've got some great knowledge out of this thread, enough to know how to keep the ball in my court.

 

[DaRealness]

major props to @Turbulent who told me that texting would be the move for that girl who doesnt speak much english. her friend answered the text back for her (in broken english) and we set something up last night. I at first wanted to holla on the phone, as thats what I typically prefer, but honestly that would have been difficult to have a phone conversion with someone who cant understand you.

so I set it up, its me, and her friends. I tell them that we should meet each other in the same place where we met (as I didnt want to give them all these new directions and confuse things more.) there was a bowling alley close by from that steakhouse, so I took em from there and we did that. Im okay with hanging with all of them too since Im not even serious about any of this. just doing it to have fun out chea. that kind of vibe was nice too, and it was a good change of pace. I wasnt "trying to get to know" anyone or on some other type of shyt. everyone was good, and at one point I figured I needed some time for myself, so I grabbed ol quiet girls hand (Yu Yu I think is how you spell her name) and took her outside with me.

I have this move, and I wanted to share it because it works a lot for me when Im with a new girl, and I want to make a move. I almost forgot it since its been ahile for me. we're walking outside for some air, and I put my hand either on her waist, lower back or shoulder. we walk together admiring the scene outside. it gets quiet, then out of nowhere I stop my pace, she walks and turns over to see me and what I stopped for - then I scoop her close in front of me and just take the kiss

you do this right, and go for it, it will work. she has a second where shes breathless and surprised, then you snatch that opportunity, lean in press your lips on her. its one big move, dont be stiff or wait on her.

you can be playful or more mackish, and have fun. if you are not awkward (waiting for her approval), and shes not a frigid bytch, then it will work. theres strength in that move. you literally take her in your arms and kiss her. its bold. I advise using it. the mood should be one of everyone having fun and chilling though. I wouldnt break this out in the middle of a serious, or depressing moment or some shyt

so we all having a good time and we head out to the beach. walking, they snapping flicks, Im with my arms around two of them. a light mood, thers really no probs. I didnt think I wanted to hang with her friends out there too, but it ended up pretty cool. there was no pressure or nothing, so everything went well. ol girl took me to see their room while her friends would go "hang out" in the lobby

props to the thread and Turbulent again, and this thread is helping bruhs out. lets keep it positive and maintain the understanding amongst each other.

 

[sixsixtwo]

delete