Also, this is maybe too academic for the convo, but in 2019 I read this "landmark" study in book form, like anthropological approach-- it's called Sexual Citizens, about sexuality/sex/dating at Columbia University and it was really insightful, but I went back and read it again about 2 months ago, and there was one part that stood out the most:
the degree to which (stress) and sexual shame is at the heart of why drunk sex is so common.
and having spent years in the bar and club scenes, sober, or any where really, I saw this up close, putting the academic reading on it made it so much easier to understand. Lots of men and women I know equally share in this. Just the way we view sex. on a practical level, I know some women who have really sexy instagrams, look good in person, but they need like 11 drinks to actually become sexual.
and I think for men this follows a somewhat similar pattern. and to tie this to the club scene/college, this is why binge drinking is such an essential part of the process for most people. Because for years I have said, why clubs? why bottle service? why all this artifice for what's really going on
but like most things it serves an essential role.