Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[The ADD]

Completely agree. It seems like these women formed like voltron and are “rejecting” coffee.

I have no problem getting women out for chai / almond milk, but from what I hear a lot of women are openly rejecting coffee (R/L + Apps)

Anything sausage fest related, I tend to move away from (sporting event, sports bar, bar crawls, etc)

Vegan Ice Cream has been my bag lately. Between that & outdoor patio + drinks (tiki bars are perfect)

Straight to the crib is more effective in the fall / winter. But if you got it like that with her, go for it.

Museum / art gallery date is always smooth. Especially if it’s opening night featuring an artist (free wine & champagne)

Jazz concerts are a vibe too. (Alongside the summer concert series)

Mini golf + top golf / any time of interactive gaming is nice. Outdoor activities are a cheat for getting into a pool at your place after.

Wine tasting is also interactive and always works well.

Most importantly, these are activities I WANT TO DO. She’s just along for the ride. Intimate activities like (cookouts, pool parties, road trip, yacht week, members only club, anything with access to my network will take work from her side).

Holiday weekends, I’m usually hunting with my guys, or solo. On some rooftop party or rooftop bar. Majority of my dates are on the “weekday” . My weekends are for me, unless I choose to call one of them up.

Bruhs set up the coffee option all wrong. They should position it as a easy first meet up up to see how things click. Talking to a chick for weeks , showing interest and then saying coffee as a first date is a goof.

 

[NoirDynosaur]

Obviously you've got. This should be your go to, imo.

• Drink #1 at the bar close to your spot, and drink #2 at your spot. (cocktails and conversation)
• Drink #1 at bar #1, Drink #2 at bar #s, and then food/whatever at your spot.
  • if you want to summer-ize a drinks date - go for Tiki drinks.
• Straight to the House for my savages (and dummies that don't think they can't get set up, or get a clinger)

Obviously avoid

• Sporting Events - I can't think of one sport off the top of my head that facilitates anything early in the relationship (short term or otherwise)
• Sports Bars/wing spots and other sausage fests
• High Priced Restaurants (medium priced restaurants, ethnic spots are usually what I rock)
• Coffee/Smoothie - anything that says cheap/low effort/low investment (and coffee at night time, gives her chemical enhancement to sniff out BS instead of just enjoying herself)

Overall, any type of date should be something that you're happy to do BY YOUR DAMN SELF. And usually anything I try to do, is meet met at location 1, where I can have a good time because chicks be late, and then we'll go to location #2.

This is not always an easy thing to accomplish, as chicks steer guys into situations where they can get their time wasted. ASK ME HOW I KNOW.

You need a "please myself first" mentality when it comes to these chicks a lot of the time. The idea of trying to show a girl a good time - is about her hanging with you - not whatever place you end up at. She should have a ball with you waiting in line at Wal-Mart, period.

What type of date you choose, really depends on your intentions and your bank roll, and what message you're "trying to send".

Summer Specific Dates

• Amusement Park - high drama, adrenaline, etc (in the cold weather this is the Haunted House)
  • Anything emotional is good for a date in my experience. But an amusement park date is not cheap, but it doesn't send the same message as taking a chick to the hot new restaurant.
• CHEAP Summer Concerts/outdoor music events (most cities have a free something, bring a blanket, food, wine, etc, listen to some old people music)
  • No Coachella for them broads.
• Ice Cream and Stroll
  • You gotta find a spot. When I was in NYC, I'd hit that Chinese Ice Cream Place. In DC it was ice cream in Old Town.
• Banana Splits at your Place (or boozy milkshakes)
  • Might be a 2nd date activity, but buying the groceries, letting her pick the bananas, (and I keep rum at the spot, so i'll flambe up a ripe plantain real quick) - but this can be a real relaxed, low pressure, end up in bed type of thing.
• Hiking (smh - but sometimes these chicks want that IG life - New Year, New Me has not worn off yet)
  • the key with any type of "she might start sweating activity" is to set up some sort of surprise cool off activity. When I lived in TX, hike followed by a trip to the pool at the apartment...you already know how it goes.
• Pool Party (might just be a Vegas thing)
  • If you're still on your "cut", maybe.
  • White girls (and white adjacent Black/Latin/Asian/Indian) love a gym/yoga date - so this can be in the same vein as that
• Summer Festivals (like a corporate Block Party. Fairly popular on the East Coast)
  • Buy tix early, And if she flakes, that's the cost of doing business. It's a stroll, eat/drink, people watch, type of thing. It's not cheap, but it can seem cheap/reasonable to a broad. From my perspective, you don't want to seem like you're spending money on a broad at all, even though facilitating a date actually costs money.
• BBQs and Cookouts - Your friends, not your family.
  • This is where having friends is crucial.
• Mini/Putt Putt Golf (in the cool weather, replace with Bowling/Darts/Pool/Shuffle Board/Arcades/Axe Throwing, Escape Room)
  • This is all about helping her putt, if you know what I mean
• Go Karts - broads be competitive.

High Time/Prep Investment/Screening

• The Beach - (can be a first date, not usually)
  • What that body looking like. But hang out, lunch, cool out, something else, bang.
• Road Trip - I like to travel with a chick as soon as possible, because it's a good way to screen broads out that I don't like. Same with a real meal with a waiter. But I'm screening for something long term, I've had enough meaningless sex at this point in my life. This is not a good thing for a young cat trying to get his feet wet.

I'm Cultured (for my distinguished set)

• Museum at Night - Houston used to have these, and I think I've seen them in other places. But the Museum will have a dj and you can roam the spot looking at art.
• Book Fairs/Book Stores/Author Talks - This one is more difficult, and I have not tried one yet. If you deal with the Sexy Librarian types - this can be great, but there's an implication that you're gonna buy her a book - which I don't like. Still in the lab on this one.
• Plays/Theater/Opera - This is some grown and sexy steez. One of my homies is a performer, somewhat retired. He goes to these things and knows people. He can pull a broad at these spots like it was a club, and if he brings a broad the type of love he gets makes it a wrap for the chick. If that's not you, dressing up at night for something, can set a whole different vibe. I like to personally put pressure on a chick to look pretty all the time. The drawback is these hoes take forever to get ready. Some of y'all prefer bonnet head in the middle of the night... it is what it is.

Holidays (which implies holiday weekend, which implies extra lit Thursday/Sunday, depending...)

• Memorial Day (I think that's this weekend)
• Juneteenth
• July 4th
• Labor Day

These are days that I would not try to set up a proper date. This is an invitation - "We outchea, come meet me at" - not a "I'm gonna pick you up at ..."

The GOAT of dating advice

Y’all better rep this man!

 

[MikelArteta]

The GOAT of dating advice

Y’all better rep this man!

yeah great post I just went mini putt last week

going to save this post for some ideas for the summer

 

[VertigoKnight]

Bruhs set up the coffee option all wrong. They should position it as a easy first meet up up to see how things click. Talking to a chick for weeks , showing interest and then saying coffee as a first date is a goof.

Yeah I always do it as a easy no pressure meet option in the first few days of talking to a chick.

It's an even better option atm as the weather is improving so you can grab a coffee and go for a walk.

But I know guys who fumble the ball chatting with a chick for weeks then trying to make things happen and her being lukewarm to the idea of a coffee.

 

[WIA20XX]

Bruhs set up the coffee option all wrong. They should position it as a easy first meet up up to see how things click. Talking to a chick for weeks , showing interest and then saying coffee as a first date is a goof.

Good comments. 2 parts I'd break this into

1) Framing/Reframing - a low key/low pressure/low cost date should be framed this way, and a big part of this is getting her to see it as low pressure/low cost/low key as framing instead of low effort.

Having said that, getting a girl to see the light is the essence of the game. So even if it makes logical sense, one has to appeal to the woman's interests. IMO, She has to feel like it's a win, not just a "non-loss", not an even exchange.

2) Wasting Time
And the second part that i've only seen in "the data" - is that the modern day dude and the way people communicate is delay, delay, delay.

On the girl's part, she's been ran through. She's cautious. She's Busy. She's overscheduled and exhausted. And She listens to a lot of serial killer podcasts/divestor/man hater/girl boss and has created a media environment around herself that is anti-male, anti-relationship. (She could choose differently, as some of her GFs do, but she prefers what she's being fed by the algorithms).

On the dude's part, he's either clueless, or he's trying to play it safe because getting matches is a problem. This is sort of a "digital" friendzone. You want the chick, but you don't want to scare her off by being too aggressive. But the dude never realizes how much time he's wasting by not pushing for the meet, or by entertaining the broad with text.

So the hidden part here is in this modern era, when people do not know how to socialize, but the structure of dating puts ALL of the power in the woman's hands - something that she's not familiar with (a lot of girls on Bumble don't want to make the first move if it means being shot down)

This all means that the short term/practical strategy is that guys should reject as much as this modern era stuff as possible.
Get in these bars, clubs, concerts, and festivals.
Meet the friends of your friends and throw house parties, cookouts, and potluck dinners.
For my real savages, start visiting churches you ain't been to (especially if you ain't Christian....)

Real life interaction. If you want it long term, friends and family. If you want it short term - create a new group of friends, a new social circle.

If you meet a chick at the spot, you're not getting her number, you're rolling out to Wafflehouse after the club to see what she really about.

 

[The ADD]

Good comments. 2 parts I'd break this into

1) Framing/Reframing - a low key/low pressure/low cost date should be framed this way, and a big part of this is getting her to see it as low pressure/low cost/low key as framing instead of low effort.

Having said that, getting a girl to see the light is the essence of the game. So even if it makes logical sense, one has to appeal to the woman's interests. IMO, She has to feel like it's a win, not just a "non-loss", not an even exchange.

2) Wasting Time
And the second part that i've only seen in "the data" - is that the modern day dude and the way people communicate is delay, delay, delay.

On the girl's part, she's been ran through. She's cautious. She's Busy. She's overscheduled and exhausted. And She listens to a lot of serial killer podcasts/divestor/man hater/girl boss and has created a media environment around herself that is anti-male, anti-relationship. (She could choose differently, as some of her GFs do, but she prefers what she's being fed by the algorithms).

On the dude's part, he's either clueless, or he's trying to play it safe because getting matches is a problem. This is sort of a "digital" friendzone. You want the chick, but you don't want to scare her off by being too aggressive. But the dude never realizes how much time he's wasting by not pushing for the meet, or by entertaining the broad with text.

So the hidden part here is in this modern era, when people do not know how to socialize, but the structure of dating puts ALL of the power in the woman's hands - something that she's not familiar with (a lot of girls on Bumble don't want to make the first move if it means being shot down)

This all means that the short term/practical strategy is that guys should reject as much as this modern era stuff as possible.
Get in these bars, clubs, concerts, and festivals.
Meet the friends of your friends and throw house parties, cookouts, and potluck dinners.
For my real savages, start visiting churches you ain't been to (especially if you ain't Christian....)

Real life interaction. If you want it long term, friends and family. If you want it short term - create a new group of friends, a new social circle.

If you meet a chick at the spot, you're not getting her number, you're rolling out to Wafflehouse after the club to see what she really about.

 

[VertigoKnight]

Good comments. 2 parts I'd break this into

1) Framing/Reframing - a low key/low pressure/low cost date should be framed this way, and a big part of this is getting her to see it as low pressure/low cost/low key as framing instead of low effort.

Having said that, getting a girl to see the light is the essence of the game. So even if it makes logical sense, one has to appeal to the woman's interests. IMO, She has to feel like it's a win, not just a "non-loss", not an even exchange.

2) Wasting Time
And the second part that i've only seen in "the data" - is that the modern day dude and the way people communicate is delay, delay, delay.

On the girl's part, she's been ran through. She's cautious. She's Busy. She's overscheduled and exhausted. And She listens to a lot of serial killer podcasts/divestor/man hater/girl boss and has created a media environment around herself that is anti-male, anti-relationship. (She could choose differently, as some of her GFs do, but she prefers what she's being fed by the algorithms).

On the dude's part, he's either clueless, or he's trying to play it safe because getting matches is a problem. This is sort of a "digital" friendzone. You want the chick, but you don't want to scare her off by being too aggressive. But the dude never realizes how much time he's wasting by not pushing for the meet, or by entertaining the broad with text.

So the hidden part here is in this modern era, when people do not know how to socialize, but the structure of dating puts ALL of the power in the woman's hands - something that she's not familiar with (a lot of girls on Bumble don't want to make the first move if it means being shot down)

This all means that the short term/practical strategy is that guys should reject as much as this modern era stuff as possible.
Get in these bars, clubs, concerts, and festivals.
Meet the friends of your friends and throw house parties, cookouts, and potluck dinners.
For my real savages, start visiting churches you ain't been to (especially if you ain't Christian....)

Real life interaction. If you want it long term, friends and family. If you want it short term - create a new group of friends, a new social circle.

If you meet a chick at the spot, you're not getting her number, you're rolling out to Wafflehouse after the club to see what she really about.

As usual great points

One of my boys doesn't do the apps and is going the friends of friends route so far his zero for 2

The first chick he got her IG and they were conversing on there. He tried to initiate a coffee hang and she told him she wasn't feeling well at that time. But she'd get back to him. Even he knew that was a dead end. And stopped trying,

The second chick agreed to a coffee hang, and according to him it went well, but she was off to the UK the next week. Now if this was me, there would have been a second hang before she left as I would have made it clear what the time was.

Despite my advice. My friend struggles with making his intentions clear enough. Like you said too many guys play it way too safe and then get frustrated when the chick has cooled off.

There is definitely a balance to be had. I'm not aggressive and use humour to get chicks comfortable and have fun flirting, that way my romantic intentions are clear so there is no mixed messaging going into our hangout.

My boy doesn't do that so this chick went to the UK and at least for the first few days, he was still messaging her. I told him to allow that.

Which he did as he was coming across like a fan.

Anyway, she got back and actually messaged him telling him she was back in Vancouver, he asked when she was free. She gave him two days Tuesday and Friday but she also told him she was going dancing with her friends that Friday night and if he wanted to come along he could. That was a good sign. In the end, they didn't go but the group hung out for drinks and socialising.

A day later she invites him to her place on the upcoming Tuesday, I was impressed, was he finally going to get it going? found out he turned up at her place and they sat in her garden whilst she repotted plants and talked about not much, and they didn't even go into her house, just sat outside for the entire hang.



I asked about the social group meetup the previous Friday, and from digging deeper he told me she was sitting next to him but was talking facing forward not turning her body towards him. Which for me shows something platonic.

So her behaviour on the Tuesday hang makes sense, she's probably not letting him in her yard lest he get the wrong idea. She likes him, but not romantically. He once again probably put himself in the friend zone.

This is the 4th chick this year where something like this has happened.

 

[WIA20XX]

Despite my advice. My friend struggles with making his intentions clear enough. Like you said too many guys play it way too safe and then get frustrated when the chick has cooled off.

Dudes can't be schooled, they just have to learn.

Over the years, I find if I'm having to deal with this sort of micro stuff, it means my macro is off.

I know many, if not most, girls enjoy my company, my presence, my conversation, etc.
That doesn't mean she's coming out the clothes cause I made a funny, but a chick hangs with your boy she enjoys her time.

So if chicks A,B,C are not into it like that (which is what this sounds like) - that means my pool is too small. I'm hitting on chicks with either low energy or probably low-to-medium interest. In the sort of text messaging/boring dates/busy schedule type females - low energy and low interest are the same. It's a little different in a club environment (because you can use externals to spark both energy and interest) - but if she's just living her boring life - work/school/home/social media - just shoot me.

 

[DJSmooth]

I'm trying to have a serious conversation with this woman. I told her she has been "acting out for a while"

She replies back. "That she isn't a child"

I didn't even call her that. These women know deep down inside they are just big kids running around.

 

[NotThatGuy]

Is it normal for the last 3 girls to have asked for my snap / number in real life and compliment me to just leave me on ignored? Not even replying to my first snap or text?

At this point i am gonna tell a girl i’m not interested if she approaches me first because what’s the point?

 

[Apollo Creed]

I'm trying to have a serious conversation with this woman. I told her she has been "acting out for a while"

She replies back. "That she isn't a child"

I didn't even call her that. These women know deep down inside they are just big kids running around.

ghost her man

 

[Apollo Creed]

As usual great points

One of my boys doesn't do the apps and is going the friends of friends route so far his zero for 2

The first chick he got her IG and they were conversing on there. He tried to initiate a coffee hang and she told him she wasn't feeling well at that time. But she'd get back to him. Even he knew that was a dead end. And stopped trying,

The second chick agreed to a coffee hang, and according to him it went well, but she was off to the UK the next week. Now if this was me, there would have been a second hang before she left as I would have made it clear what the time was.

Despite my advice. My friend struggles with making his intentions clear enough. Like you said too many guys play it way too safe and then get frustrated when the chick has cooled off.

There is definitely a balance to be had. I'm not aggressive and use humour to get chicks comfortable and have fun flirting, that way my romantic intentions are clear so there is no mixed messaging going into our hangout.

My boy doesn't do that so this chick went to the UK and at least for the first few days, he was still messaging her. I told him to allow that.

Which he did as he was coming across like a fan.

Anyway, she got back and actually messaged him telling him she was back in Vancouver, he asked when she was free. She gave him two days Tuesday and Friday but she also told him she was going dancing with her friends that Friday night and if he wanted to come along he could. That was a good sign. In the end, they didn't go but the group hung out for drinks and socialising.

A day later she invites him to her place on the upcoming Tuesday, I was impressed, was he finally going to get it going? found out he turned up at her place and they sat in her garden whilst she repotted plants and talked about not much, and they didn't even go into her house, just sat outside for the entire hang.



I asked about the social group meetup the previous Friday, and from digging deeper he told me she was sitting next to him but was talking facing forward not turning her body towards him. Which for me shows something platonic.

So her behaviour on the Tuesday hang makes sense, she's probably not letting him in her yard lest he get the wrong idea. She likes him, but not romantically. He once again probably put himself in the friend zone.

This is the 4th chick this year where something like this has happened.

to me this reads as nikkas not going after chicks who actually have interest in them.

Maybe I have "handsome nikka bias", but I'm perplex that dudes have to do all this "strategy" shyt vs just figuring out how to get around women doing things you actually enjoy doing and then peeping who vibes with you.

Like I've never had a woman no show or say she didn't want to do what I wanted. Typically if a woman is into you she literally follows every instruction you give her. I feel all this overthinking stuff leads to dudes coming off as awkward on top of being around a chick that isn't really feeling them.

If a woman is not sexually attracted to me I'm not even wasting energy speaking to her lol

 

[WIA20XX]

Is it normal for the last 3 girls to have asked for my snap / number in real life and compliment me to just leave me on ignored? Not even replying to my first snap or text?

At this point i am gonna tell a girl i’m not interested if she approaches me first because what’s the point?

Yes. Text Messages/DMs/Dating App Likes* mean nothing.

Especially with young girls (under 23)
Especially with cute ones (at any age)
Especially in this day and age, where you're competing with IG, SC, Tinder, and her battery on low.

*a chick can give you brain, break you off something, and you can beat it up, curl them toes, have her climbing walls - and she'll still leave you on read.

Nothing about a woman's behavior is logical to a man. She feels what she feels, and does what she feels in the moment.

But that's the key to pulling. The strongest emotion usually wins especially when they're flighty.
Even the old broads want to feel dumb young and free like they used to.

Mastering your own emotions, means not reacting but acting.

But..

Mastering HER emotions, means understand what buttons to push, how to build, keep, release, and then rebuild tension.

Now the way you play it, when a chick comes at you, is to stay on the broad/stay with the broad until you can consummate.

At a bar or a club, that's gonna a trip to the wafflehouse, and come through to your spot, cause you got some mojitos/weed/new Harry Potter on deck.

But If you meet a chick during the day - you really got to think it through.

My thought process - "We met at the mall at 2, I need to prolly put some food in her belly and maybe a drink or two* (not to get her drunk, to show her a good time), then we can check out my Funko Pop collection at my place."

If a chick gives me a number, or I get a number - I know it's usually gonna be some BS.
So a secondary strategy is to add her to a BANGING social media. Social Media is advertising and you can manipulate broads at scale.

Would I cancel a coffee date on Tuesday, and then post up some A-list event that Tuesday night? You're damn right I would...

But since I don't have great social media, I usually don't sweat it when the chick acts like a chick, and is flaky and noncommittal .

 

[DJSmooth]

Is it normal for the last 3 girls to have asked for my snap / number in real life and compliment me to just leave me on ignored? Not even replying to my first snap or text?

At this point i am gonna tell a girl i’m not interested if she approaches me first because what’s the point?

When I get a number in real life. I text her my name on the spot if she replies back with a "Got you" or something like that I know she's showing higher levels of interest. If she doesn't reply I usually never hit her back a second time to follow up.

 

[Apollo Creed]

When I get a number in real life. I text her my name on the spot if she replies back with a "Got you" or something like that I know she's showing higher levels of interest. If she doesn't reply I usually never hit her back a second time to follow up.

I'd make her take my number. IMO it's best to make women take initiative on things at is the best gauge of interest.

More so speaking on your attitude should be on some "this is what's finna happen, the ball is in your court if you want to proceed" vs you being on the hunt which just makes you another option/orbiter.