I think a big part of the problem here is the poor education and misinformation women have received over the last 30 to 50 years: that men and women are the same, and that women can have lots of premarital sex like a man can with no ill effects on the body, the soul, the psyche or the spirit.
My thinking on this has evolved a lot over the last 18 months or so. I am not necessarily of the mind that one premarital sex partner for a woman always completely ruins her (but it can if he is sufficiently alpha and she bonds really, really hard to him). I do think that women who become high N either have a predisposition to high sex drive and high resistance to bonding (probably due to being high T women); or they follow the herd, or they just didnt get good education on what happens during sex.
The problem happens when the high N woman decides she wants to marry for whatever reason: family pressure, age, baby rabies, etc. Based on my speculation and observations, the high T slut just resists to bonding to one man she either cannot feel love for just one man, or does not, simply because her body chemistry in part I suspect causes her to approach sex, interpersonal relationships and life in general more as a man does (though not entirely as a man does a man with normal T will still have multiple factors more T than a high T woman). This woman might be able to compartmentalize sex from other areas of her life, much as a man can. She is more resistant to bonding (but nearly all high T women will still willingly submit to a man with sufficiently alpha qualities). I suspect shes a very high marriage risk because she is the most likely to engage in sport sex and high adventure sex; most likely to get into the kink; and most likely to cheat.
The only men who can successfully manage the high T former slut and maintain long term attraction in marriage, paradoxically, are the very men least likely to marry in the first place: the PUA, the natural alpha, the high T man, the high social status man. These men are sexually successful and have options; and they are not likely to opt for a high T former slut. And interestingly enough, these men are the men the high T former slut (and all other women) are most attracted to. These men, if and when they do marry, are not likely to marry a high T former slut because she requires considerably more effort to manage than any other woman. The only man who can marry a high T woman is a man with tight Game. In todays SMP, most men dont have that level of Game. The men who are 6 Sigma Gamesmen dont marry anyway.
The non-high T former slut is in a different category, I think. This type of woman either fell into the lifestyle by following the herd; or she tried to parlay a series of hookups into relationships and repeatedly struck out; or she had no idea how the SMP works; or she has/had addictions that fueled a promiscuous sex life; or she was just having some fun, or whatever other reason. She wants to bond; wants to very, very badly. But she cannot. Most often, I think, its because her former sluthood either (1) cultivated in her a warped, twisted view of sex and its role in a healthy intimate relationship; (2) causes her to be unable to relate to a man in any manner other than sexually; and/or (3) cultivated in her a deep. core distrust of men in general. I suspect all non high T former sluts, and probably all former sluts, have one, a combination, or all three of these. It appears to me that once these beliefs or patterns develop in a woman due to promiscuity, they are extraordinarily difficult to dislodge and reeducate, so to speak. A woman tends to latch onto and develop those beliefs or patterns, and they appear , at least to me, to become so embedded in her mind and personality that they are very, very difficult to fix. Her relationship and sexual failures, past and present, are extremely painful.
Almost all the time, this kind of woman has vastly confused her SMV with her MMV. She really thought she could get a man for marriage by putting out. She was fascinated at all the attention she got from these really hot guys. She genuinely doesnt understand why these men arent interested in marriage.
Some of these women use sex for power, because deep down, they know that their sexual agency is the only thing they have of any value. To put it bluntly, they have no education or domestic skills, and a dead end job. Having sex is the only thing at which they have any proficiency. They also realize early on that their looks and willingness to put out gives them great leverage over almost every man in their orbit. Sure, its only for a while, but it is power nonetheless. And if this man will sleep with her only a few times and moves on, its OK because she knows there is a neverending supply of men who will give her what she wants, be it drinks, or attention, or a date, or sex. She even might eventually figure out how to string one of these men along, dollop out a little sex here and there, while he exhausts his time, money and self giving her whatever she wants.
And some women simply are having fun on the alcohol and alpha party train, having some fun until it comes time to be responsible and do the right thing and have a man make an honest woman out of her.
I suspect that as these women grow accustoming to using men, and being used by men, lying to men and being lied to by men, they quickly learn the score and how the game (Game) is being played. They grow increasingly jaded and cynical. They develop a deep distrust of men in particular. They come to believe every man simply wants sex from her all the time and simply wants to use her because thats what happened every time before. They come to believe that no relationship can work because no relationship theyve ever had before worked out or worked well and theyve never seen anyone else have a healthy relationship either. They come to believe that no one will ever want them for themselves or see them as anything other than the shape and size of their bodies.
And so she comes to the marriage market. This is a woman who is accustomed to high emotion, high excitement, high drama roller coaster sex with attractive, high status men. Shes accustomed to weekend vacations in Vegas with the smooth player. She likes riding on the back of the bad boys motorcycle at 85 MPH and shaking the plaster off the walls with sex at his place. She likes going to the bars and picking out the hottest guy there to take her home. Her attraction triggers are tuned to high status, hot alpha men. She gets to the marriage market and is in for a rude awakening. It is filled with the men she finds boring, predictable, mundane. There are even some men showing up who she turned up her nose at and nuclear rejected a few years ago. This isnt what she bargained for at all. This isnt what she wanted. None of these men are attractive. But, this one makes good money. That one is really nice, and hes funny. This other one already owns a house and has some money saved up. Well, this one earns good money, and hed be a good dad to the kids she wants to have. So she agrees to date him. She likes him pretty well. She has sex with him, and its OK, but nothing like the earth shaking, see-stars sex she had with her alphas. Anyway, she loves him, really likes him, and she thinks she can make it work. She agrees to marry him when he asks.
So they go to married life. Its gonna be great. She has very high expectations for marriage. Their sex life will be great because its legal and licit now. Their sex life will be great because, well, almost all the sex with the other hot men was fun and exciting and great. So this cant be too bad, right? Besides, even if it isnt great, he will make lots of money and take care of her and allow her to quit her crappy job when she gets pregnant. He will take care of her, and well, maybe the sex will improve.
But it doesnt.
He works hard and is putting on weight from the stress and poor eating. He lives in and very much likes his routine. She isnt really attracted to him and doesnt really love him. Shes not head over heels in love with him, though he is with her and he considers himself damn lucky to have her. She wants to bond, tries to bond, but she simply cannot do it. Her mind wanders during sex memories of past alpha BFs, maybe, Or unrealized sexual fantasies. Whatever it is, hubby really just cannot do it for her. Over the years she comes to enjoy sex less and less, and they have sex less and less.
And so it goes. This, sluts, is how you get to where you are. This is what happens when former sluts marry without being head over heels in love.
or do I let her go and do her own thing and just hope she still available when I'm ready to wife up.
at them and tell them the damn truth. I hold nothing back to them delusional chicks.