Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[ball15life]

Why did you break up with her? I do think after the honeymoon phase the relationship teeters off a bit and that is of course natural. My chick doesn't really do things that are red flags to me but she is sort of stable which I guess with my last two exes I'm not used to lol. In the past I know I've been into emotionally unavailable or somewhat 'inaccessible' women.

I think with my girl I'm taking it slow and easy. Not too many high expectations but I certainly like that we are on the same page in terms of life goals. Also how old are you? I'm in my mid 30s so my needs and wants may be different than yours.

I hope you find what you want brother.

Appreciate the well wishes breh

Her actions: The main thing that I haven't recovered from was that she hit up my boys ex (found her on FB) to kinda vent about some of the things she doesn't like me doing. My boys ex hit me up the next day and told me most of what was said. Now I can trust his ex b/c she is crazy, but I also couldn't trust my gf because a) she didn't tell me she did that and b) once I told her I knew about it I knew I would NEVER get the full details of the convo. That rubbed me the wrong way obviously and I tried to break it off then.

That was sort of the last straw. There were some things that I didn't like about us ...one major thing was that I hate talking on the phone but I should be willing to do so with my gf, because I would enjoy her company. I never got that vibe with her. Communication as a whole was a big thing; sometimes the convo just felt a lil boring. I need strong natural conversations in my relationships. We share a lot of the same core values but that convo was DULL sometimes. There were other minor stuff as well but these were the two big things.

She basically pleaded to stay together and explained how I am her first real relationship and she was nervous..etc...I told her I understand all of that but I was gonna need time so see if I needed to be in a relationship with her. So after a month of stuff not really getting better I decided to break it off.


My actions: Women, breh. I still will go to a bar with my homies to chill/talk/be out and about. Normally if I'm with someone, I'm extremely faithful and able to block out other girls that try to get at me when I'm out, but with her I noticed I was being super flirtatious and not caring as much. I kinda took that as a sign as well. I've never been one to cheat, but I just went to Jamaica a couple weeks ago and.....honestly that could be another story/post in itself . I didn't cheat, but ...


Anyways I also noticed that I stopped being as accommodating to my partner's lifestyle as I usually am. I would ex out a basketball night or another event to make sure I spend time with her. As the months passed by, I noticed myself doing it less. I think I emotionally just got tired of her. Probably physically too, if I'm keeping it 100 . I hate to admit that last part because looks aren't everything, and my gf was/is extremely cute, but I'll be honest with yall. I now know my type is slim/petite women .


I agree with you though! It is natural for the relationship to teeter off a lil bit. I wasn't expecting it to fall off a cliff though . I put the blame on myself though. I should have kept my foot on the break pedal early on. I kinda let us rush stuff. If we kept it slower, feelings probably wouldn't have been hurt like this .





Sounds like you have a good one though breh It seems like y'all really connect. I'd take that over the inaccessible women any day of the week lol... Are you 100% happy?



I'm 32 btw so not too far behind you lol

 

[John Reena]

It’s that time of the year when it’s starting to get warm outside and chicks be outside half naked.





Lots of fine available single women bout to be out in droves! Time to hit up festivals, concerts, churches, picnics, weddings, parties n just be out the house PERIOD.

Time to feast!

 

[Silkk]

It’s that time of the year when it’s starting to get warm outside and chicks be outside half naked.





Lots of fine available single women bout to be out in droves! Time to hit up festivals, concerts, churches, picnics, weddings, parties n just be out the house PERIOD.

Time to feast!

Favorite time of the year

 

[ViShawn]

Thanks for the insight @ball15life it definitely gives me some perspective. I haven't dealt with weird shyt with her like that through her actions. I did think at first I wasn't her type because she has traveled a bit and dated other types of men so that intimidated me a bit.

She works with kids all day and is very smart (more educated than me), but sometimes can have those blonde/ditzy moments. I thrive on communication and it's funny you should mention that. I know my love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, and touch. Her's are strongly quality time and touch. She also does a lot of acts of service for me such as cooking (and 'ole girl actually knows how to cook), buying me stuff from her travels, and thinking of me.

I do tend to be a sucker for women who are great with words of affirmation but those women have rarely ever backed it up with something of substance. I had one ex that did... then she broke my heart.

I think because my chick works with kids combined she is a bit more reserved I've noticed some dull/boring conversations here and there. I think that I still intimidate her so she has held back but slowly I've seen her get a little more sassy. Other times she lets me go on my rants about whatever. She doesn't really text me due to her job but when we have our time together it is 100% uninterrupted. I have to realize that I'm dealing with a grown ass woman.

With her the relationship went from newness and fun, to being very comfortable and very safe with her. I don't feel complacent with her though. I feel that there is a lot to do together.

When I'm not around her I do notice myself talking about her a lot. She's gone for a week and I ruminate about our relationship being an over thinker. She told me the other night that she's glad to meet me and I feel the same b/c I feel like she's an angel.

 

[ball15life]

Thanks for the insight @ball15life it definitely gives me some perspective. I haven't dealt with weird shyt with her like that through her actions. I did think at first I wasn't her type because she has traveled a bit and dated other types of men so that intimidated me a bit.

She works with kids all day and is very smart (more educated than me), but sometimes can have those blonde/ditzy moments. I thrive on communication and it's funny you should mention that. I know my love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, and touch. Her's are strongly quality time and touch. She also does a lot of acts of service for me such as cooking (and 'ole girl actually knows how to cook), buying me stuff from her travels, and thinking of me.

I do tend to be a sucker for women who are great with words of affirmation but those women have rarely ever backed it up with something of substance. I had one ex that did... then she broke my heart.

I think because my chick works with kids combined she is a bit more reserved I've noticed some dull/boring conversations here and there. I think that I still intimidate her so she has held back but slowly I've seen her get a little more sassy. Other times she lets me go on my rants about whatever. She doesn't really text me due to her job but when we have our time together it is 100% uninterrupted. I have to realize that I'm dealing with a grown ass woman.

With her the relationship went from newness and fun, to being very comfortable and very safe with her. I don't feel complacent with her though. I feel that there is a lot to do together.

When I'm not around her I do notice myself talking about her a lot. She's gone for a week and I ruminate about our relationship being an over thinker. She told me the other night that she's glad to meet me and I feel the same b/c I feel like she's an angel.

Ah man I feel you. That one that broke your heart might have been a blessing in disguise though. It's sometimes good to go through that heartbreak, you know?

Dealing with grown women is tough lol. I was just talking to my boy about that. It's an entire different game!

And respect! Y'all really do seem like a good fit.The last two bold statements is exactly what I am striving for! Hopefully I can reach your level one day!

 

[Atlrocafella]

mad at myself for not closing the deal with this chick I been watching for a min. Ima clean it up tomorrow tho.

 

[TRUEST]

How so?

And I beg to differ. You don't know this woman. What I shared with yall is but a tip of the ice berg....

You should never ever comply with the conditions or ultimatums from a woman.

I would look in the mirror next time before you critize another man.

We are all rough around the edges and it takes different people and different situations to smooth us out.

Expecting someone to accept a version of u that can be better is like deciding to pay full price for an unfinished car.

Unless this woman is trying to make u do things which would only benefit her, I think you made a bad call here.

I’ll give u an example. In my early twenties I was a terrible dresser. But it took a girl I was dating for my fashion sense to improve dramatically. She expressed her dissatisfaction to me privately at how I looked when her and I went out to public. I could have been hot headed and thought like u. But after dating her and other females I learned quick how image matters and I changed up quick. That’s just one example.

 

[Astroslik]

We are all rough around the edges and it takes different people and different situations to smooth us out.

Expecting someone to accept a version of u that can be better is like deciding to pay full price for an unfinished car.

Unless this woman is trying to make u do things which would only benefit her, I think you made a bad call here.

I’ll give u an example. In my early twenties I was a terrible dresser. But it took a girl I was dating for my fashion sense to improve dramatically. She expressed her dissatisfaction to me privately at how I looked when her and I went out to public. I could have been hot headed and thought like u. But after dating her and other females I learned quick how image matters and I changed up quick. That’s just one example.

Changing the way you dress is nothing like changing who you are for a woman who would find something to complain/bytch about anyways

 

[TRUEST]

Changing the way you dress is nothing like changing who you are for a woman who would find something to complain/bytch about anyways

Don’t think u got the point. Someone like ol boy would have turned around on some “if u don’t like me dressing like a bum then u don’t like me for me”

 

[Sinnerman]

I'm going to start swiping left if I see "sarcasm" on a profile

 

[Silkk]

mad at myself for not closing the deal with this chick I been watching for a min. Ima clean it up tomorrow tho.

Hope this was autocorrect :youngdro:

 

[Atlrocafella]

Hope this was autocorrect :youngdro:

sadly no, she works In the building across the street from me, so I would see her every once in a while, usually while I was with my own group. Today was the first chance I got to say something to her.

 

[DaRealness]

I'm going to start swiping left if I see "sarcasm" on a profile

Exactly. It basically means the chick is rude/disrespectful and when you pull her up on it she will them turn it around on you and call you "sensitive" and make it out like you can't take a joke.

Those broads are trouble and little things like that are a huge indicator as to what you'll be dealing with.

I gotta laugh when I see these profiles with profanities and all types of rudeness and they think a grown man with any sense won't give them a wide berth.

 

[DaRealness]

Speaking of dating apps, I been checking out bumble and while there's some good looking chicks out here in Panama, there's way too many cac American ex pats on there....like A LOT.

The broads out here though. This city is similar to Miami. I'm only here til Monday morning until I leave to go to Colombia where the real fun begins.

 

[MollyGalaga]

When ya homeboy a simp ​