So recently I had gotten back (talking/LTR) with a chick I use to date when I was korea (she's black). We had broken up because one, I have a hard time communicating, and two, she is emotionally damaged. She expects everything to be smooth, no issues and she cannot stand any uncertainty... Well, we started back talking again since January and as our conversation escalated, she throws out, "well, are you willing to get a counselor/therapist for your communication?"
I told her I would, but I know deep down its not for me. I loved this girl so I thought to myself that I can do it. Well after about a week, I was like fukk it, i'm not doing all that. One, I love myself, and two, there is nothing wrong with me. I figured that if i'd do this, i set a precedence in doing shyt like this. Personally, I do have communication issues, i hate complaining and I tend to bottle shyt inside - but i think this is a trait that all men do as in to not show any weakness.
And to be honest brody's, a woman should love me for me. She shouldn't want me to change and that was she trying to have me do. I felt for a second, that i was starting to put myself before her, putting her on a toadstool and do anything to please her.
So i told her this. I had called her and I said, that I know that no matter what I do, there is no pleasing you. And it's not just her - ITS ALL WOMEN!!!! NO matter what you do, there is nothing than ever please or make a woman happy other than herself. That is not our burden to bear.
So i told - 'look, i'm not going to see a therapist, I love who I am, I love what I do. I know thats not what you want to hear, but it is what it is'
her: well, i wish you good luck, i know you got to get ready for work, so i'll talk to you later
and then we hung up. haven't spoke to her in over a week... but you know what, I feel refreshed
knowing that i made the right decision. we have dated for over a year. I miss her, but I also miss my sanity even more. she always pushed for me to see a therapist for the longest as well. Maybe I do need to see one...? But then again, I'm doing it on my terms.
I'm trying to maintain this alpha frame, doing only what I want to do. I do realize that women will give me ultimatums (had another women trying to hold the p*ssy hostage by being in a committed relationship - i told her im still gonna see other women, so she left...
) and therefore, i (you) have to remember to maintain the power in the situation. Women give ultimatums because they are powerless and this is there method to try and gain ground in power.
She may have left me, but she left with nothing to show for. She left me, but I maintained the power and also not doing the back bending and upholding promises that I never wanted to do anyways; thereofre, maintaining my sanity.
Not sure if this well help anyone, but do what you want to do. Never be afraid of them leaving. Don't commit yourself to something you don't want to do. Never fall into the trap of having the woman make you shuck and jive (tap dance) for them in the hopes that they will love you.
I told her I would, but I know deep down its not for me. I loved this girl so I thought to myself that I can do it. Well after about a week, I was like fukk it, i'm not doing all that. One, I love myself, and two, there is nothing wrong with me. I figured that if i'd do this, i set a precedence in doing shyt like this. Personally, I do have communication issues, i hate complaining and I tend to bottle shyt inside - but i think this is a trait that all men do as in to not show any weakness.
And to be honest brody's, a woman should love me for me. She shouldn't want me to change and that was she trying to have me do. I felt for a second, that i was starting to put myself before her, putting her on a toadstool and do anything to please her.
So i told her this. I had called her and I said, that I know that no matter what I do, there is no pleasing you. And it's not just her - ITS ALL WOMEN!!!! NO matter what you do, there is nothing than ever please or make a woman happy other than herself. That is not our burden to bear.
So i told - 'look, i'm not going to see a therapist, I love who I am, I love what I do. I know thats not what you want to hear, but it is what it is'
her: well, i wish you good luck, i know you got to get ready for work, so i'll talk to you later
and then we hung up. haven't spoke to her in over a week... but you know what, I feel refreshed
knowing that i made the right decision. we have dated for over a year. I miss her, but I also miss my sanity even more. she always pushed for me to see a therapist for the longest as well. Maybe I do need to see one...? But then again, I'm doing it on my terms. I'm trying to maintain this alpha frame, doing only what I want to do. I do realize that women will give me ultimatums (had another women trying to hold the p*ssy hostage by being in a committed relationship - i told her im still gonna see other women, so she left...
) and therefore, i (you) have to remember to maintain the power in the situation. Women give ultimatums because they are powerless and this is there method to try and gain ground in power. She may have left me, but she left with nothing to show for. She left me, but I maintained the power and also not doing the back bending and upholding promises that I never wanted to do anyways; thereofre, maintaining my sanity.
Not sure if this well help anyone, but do what you want to do. Never be afraid of them leaving. Don't commit yourself to something you don't want to do. Never fall into the trap of having the woman make you shuck and jive (tap dance) for them in the hopes that they will love you.
, the few times it has happened to me
. Spring is right around the corner 