Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Sandy_Cheeks]

when you were say 23,24,25 could you describe the man you wanted
to now in your older age?

what has changed

I'm just curious

When I was in my early to mid 20s, I was shallow. So I really only wanted someone who looked good and was semi decent on the inside since I wasn't looking to settle down. However, the relationships were always dysfunctional and the only focus was mainly sexual. Character or maturity wasn't even a thought.

I turn 28 in November and I'm more interested in the character of a man than anything else. Not saying I don't wanna like what I see, but looks change, even money changes, but character doesn't. I want someone who is like minded, accepting of himself so he can he accepting of others. Someone who values and loves himself enough to never sacrifice who he is for a female or anyone else. A man who values loyalty, communication, and honesty. Someone who truly understands the importance of maturity.

Not saying I don't want someone who is at a certain point in life at a certain age, but I am more than willing to work with a man who is actually TRYING To do his best.

 

[MikelArteta]

When I was in my early to mid 20s, I was shallow. So I really only wanted someone who looked good and was semi decent on the inside since I wasn't looking to settle down. However, the relationships were always dysfunctional and the only focus was mainly sexual.

I turn 28 in November and I'm more interested in the character of a man than anything else. Not saying I don't wanna like what I see, but looks change, even money changes, but character doesn't. I want someone who is like minded, accepting of himself so he can he accepting of others. Someone who values and loves himself enough to never sacrifice who he is for a female or anyone else. A man who values loyalty, communication, and honesty. Someone who truly understands the importance of maturity.

Not saying I don't want someone who is at a certain point in life at a certain age, but I am more than willing to work with a man who is actually TRYING To do his best.

beautiful!!

I was the same, not saying I'd wife someone I don't find attractive, but what good is looks without character and proper behaviour. I'm getting older looks fade, I rarely see 40 or 50 year old women I find attractive. Mostly all old people look the same to me anyways.

I've dated drop dead beautiful women on the exterior but once I took a bite out of that apple it was brown and wormy inside. It's like christmas as a kid, no kid cares how nice its wrapped and the bows and ish. If it was clothes it was , could have been wrapped all flabby and sick but if it was nintendo

Again not saying you'll see me with someone that is , but someone who may be but has characteristics, loyalty, maturity a heart of gold.

as @Sharp said sometimes its not what you want but what you need

 

[The Mad Titan]

When I was in my early to mid 20s, I was shallow. So I really only wanted someone who looked good and was semi decent on the inside since I wasn't looking to settle down. However, the relationships were always dysfunctional and the only focus was mainly sexual. Character or maturity wasn't even a thought.

I turn 28 in November and I'm more interested in the character of a man than anything else. Not saying I don't wanna like what I see, but looks change, even money changes, but character doesn't. I want someone who is like minded, accepting of himself so he can he accepting of others. Someone who values and loves himself enough to never sacrifice who he is for a female or anyone else. A man who values loyalty, communication, and honesty. Someone who truly understands the importance of maturity.

Not saying I don't want someone who is at a certain point in life at a certain age, but I am more than willing to work with a man who is actually TRYING To do his best.

Can't ask for to much more than this

 

[Sandy_Cheeks]

beautiful!!

I was the same, not saying I'd wife someone I don't find attractive, but what good is looks without character and proper behaviour. I'm getting older looks fade, I rarely see 40 or 50 year old women I find attractive. Mostly all old people look the same to me anyways.

I've dated drop dead beautiful women on the exterior but once I took a bite out of that apple it was brown and wormy inside. It's like christmas as a kid, no kid cares how nice its wrapped and the bows and ish. If it was clothes it was , could have been wrapped all flabby and sick but if it was nintendo

Again not saying you'll see me with someone that is , but someone who may be but has characteristics, loyalty, maturity a heart of gold.

as @Sharp said sometimes its not what you want but what you need

I completely agree with what your saying, especially the bolded. Only thing is, people often fail to realize how much time, maturity, and experience teaches you what you need vs what you want. We often want what isn't good for us with no thought to what we truly need.

 

[MikelArteta]

Can't ask for to much more than this

its funny to say now but the only reason I stayed with my ex and was pinned on her for so long was because she was beautiful and had a phat azz. That's it, I can't even list one good quality, I can't even say she made me laugh, that she even loved me at one point, that I thought about a future with her. I just got so caught up, and didn't want anyone else to be hitting that, just going out and having dudes stare, walking the street and dudes winding down the window saying damn and blowing their horn, knowing that was "mine" or so I thought made me feel like more of a man. In reality I was just a pathetic sap, constantly under stress,.

ALl i can say is NEVER AGAIN

 

[MikelArteta]

I completely agree with what your saying, especially the bolded. Only thing is, people often fail to realize how much time, maturity, and experience teaches you what you need vs what you want. We often want what isn't good for us with no thought to what we truly need.

yep, another thing this dude mentioned today, how there is a lady he knows whose 47, yet still has these 6'4 dark skinned, fit bla bla requirements, even at 47. And for both enders sometimes we have these ridiculous ass standards and many quality people have passed us by.

Even at 28 I can rememebr the best chick I ever had in my life, who treated me like a king and we weren't sexual or even in a relationship. When I was sick she would travel on the bus, she'd always text me, always ask how I was doing, she just deeply cared about me, and I was a unemployed bum back then. She wasn't a knockout or anything but she was cute, she went to church, came from a broken home but her characteristics were out of this world.

But then I met my ex fiance, slim, big boobies, russian accent, smart (she has her masters in mathematics) and she got jealous and I had to choose, a chick who was down for me for years that I knew liked me, that I knew would treat me well, or the knockout russian.

Even to this day I know I messed up, if there was only one thing I could change in my life that would be it.

 

[Sandy_Cheeks]

yep, another thing this dude mentioned today, how there is a lady he knows whose 47, yet still has these 6'4 dark skinned, fit bla bla requirements, even at 47. And for both enders sometimes we have these ridiculous ass standards and many quality people have passed us by.

Even at 28 I can rememebr the best chick I ever had in my life, who treated me like a king and we weren't sexual or even in a relationship. When I was sick she would travel on the bus, she'd always text me, always ask how I was doing, she just deeply cared about me, and I was a unemployed bum back then. She wasn't a knockout or anything but she was cute, she went to church, came from a broken home but her characteristics were out of this world.

But then I met my ex fiance, slim, big boobies, russian accent, smart (she has her masters in mathematics) and she got jealous and I had to choose, a chick who was down for me for years that I knew liked me, that I knew would treat me well, or the knockout russian.

Even to this day I know I messed up, if there was only one thing I could change in my life that would be it.

you had a keeper breh. But you live and you learn. But your right, as we age our expectations need to be adjusted with reality. That's like a 40 yr old saying they don't date anyone with kids, when at that age 90% of all have kids. Just not practical. One can have a preference all they want, but they have to constantly survey and adjust it to realty.

 

[The Mad Titan]

its funny to say now but the only reason I stayed with my ex and was pinned on her for so long was because she was beautiful and had a phat azz. That's it, I can't even list one good quality, I can't even say she made me laugh, that she even loved me at one point, that I thought about a future with her. I just got so caught up, and didn't want anyone else to be hitting that, just going out and having dudes stare, walking the street and dudes winding down the window saying damn and blowing their horn, knowing that was "mine" or so I thought made me feel like more of a man. In reality I was just a pathetic sap, constantly under stress,.

ALl i can say is NEVER AGAIN

I think us men all go through it even if shes only bad to us in our minds, and at some point it hits us..."Why am I doing this?" We ignore it until we can't anymore, the women gets annoyed "moves on" and we get heart broken. From there on is the real test, do we learn from it or continue to make the same mistakes?

yep, another thing this dude mentioned today, how there is a lady he knows whose 47, yet still has these 6'4 dark skinned, fit bla bla requirements, even at 47. And for both enders sometimes we have these ridiculous ass standards and many quality people have passed us by.

Even at 28 I can rememebr the best chick I ever had in my life, who treated me like a king and we weren't sexual or even in a relationship. When I was sick she would travel on the bus, she'd always text me, always ask how I was doing, she just deeply cared about me, and I was a unemployed bum back then. She wasn't a knockout or anything but she was cute, she went to church, came from a broken home but her characteristics were out of this world.

But then I met my ex fiance, slim, big boobies, russian accent, smart (she has her masters in mathematics) and she got jealous and I had to choose, a chick who was down for me for years that I knew liked me, that I knew would treat me well, or the knockout russian.

Even to this day I know I messed up, if there was only one thing I could change in my life that would be it.

Its hard to find women like that man....ouch

 

[MikelArteta]

i know breh

right now is not the right time.

Take time. Time to mourn the future you thought you had. Time to mourn the love lost. At some point in time, a light will go on and you will realize that you are worth more, it should be two puzzles fitting together not needing super glue and tape and scissors trimming. When that point in time comes, something better will be there. Trust me, life has a weird way of working itself out. When things like this happen that shake you to the core its really and truly for a reason. I am a testament of this myself.

 

[MikelArteta]

I think us men all go through it even if shes only bad to us in our minds, and at some point it hits us..."Why am I doing this?" We ignore it until we can't anymore, the women gets annoyed "moves on" and we get heart broken. From there on is the real test, do we learn from it or continue to make the same mistakes?




Its hard to find women like that man....ouch

Gospel man gospel. It's why I always state how dangerous it is to mess with the wrong woman, we all buy into that bs how its women with all the emotions, and we can separate sex and emotions and all that. But yeah right not always the case. It's like gambling you start making 5, 10 dollar bets start winning you say I won't be like those other guys, next thing you know your making 500 dollar bets, borrowing left and right and you just can't stop. A woman was able to enchanted samson the world strongest man, a president, preachers, anyone can fall.

Hell for myself speaking, I've slept with a good amount of women back in the day, and even though I was always like eh its just sex, still after the act i'd just feel the bonding. I remember EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I've slept with, their names, how they look, intimate details, and many of these women I only saw once or twice.

It's why most relationship forums are littered with men, because we are told to keep it inside and not speak about it, so we become anonymous and hide behind a monitor. Men hurt don't believe me its why 80% of suicides are males.


And yeah man I was 20 I know I messed up, growing up I had zero luck with women. Wore glasses, skinny as a twig, no money so I didn't have the latest gear, speech impediment. Then I ditched the glasses, changed my attire, lost the speech impediment, and I was attracting women left right and center.

 

[MikelArteta]

you had a keeper breh. But you live and you learn. But your right, as we age our expectations need to be adjusted with reality. That's like a 40 yr old saying they don't date anyone with kids, when at that age 90% of all have kids. Just not practical. One can have a preference all they want, but they have to constantly survey and adjust it to realty.

Just hope the Lord blesses me once more, won't blow it this time.

If only more women had your mindset bonita

 

[Sandy_Cheeks]

Just hope the Lord blesses me once more, won't blow it this time.

If only more women had your mindset bonita

You will be blessed! This mindset keeps me single

 

[kevm3]

There's a lot of great knowledge being shared in this thread. I'm glad BonitaChelz can come and understand this thread for what it is. It's not an attack on women or hating women or some such nonsense. This thread mainly exists due to the dysfunction that currently exists in the dating scene and is here to help repair the rift that currently exists between men and women.

Modern feminism is a government sponsored movement with the intents of creating rifts between men and women through psychological and systematic manipulations. The purpose is to break up the family structure, which then creates a situation in which the population is dependent on the state for sustenance. Since there is no father figure in the house, it's likely the mother will have the child and be forced to rely on the system to supplement her income due to limited financial contributions from the father. This reliance creates a dependence, and this dependence is a control mechanism in which if you don't comply, your means of living is shut off.

The fact that you have men actually going to other countries thousands of miles away in order to find a woman they want to settle down with shows how devastating these policies have been on the relationship between men and women. One only has to look at the monumental drop in marriage rates to see that this is true. It is sad, but ultimately men and women are being robbed of having rich, deep relationships with each other, and now, they look upon each other as sex objects to be used and discarded.

A man and a woman should be a team that works together and looks out for each other, and not be two competing entities attempting to compete for the top spot in the power chain. The power chain is irrelevant. A man and a woman who are together should use their designated rules for MUTUAL benefit. A man is at the head of the household, but that doesn't mean he is in a 'superior' position to the woman. He's merely taking on a different role. Men and women casting aside their roles and being brainwashed to fight each other over power leads to what we have today... people wandering aimlessly, wondering why their relationships never seem to last.

 

[MikelArteta]

You will be blessed! This mindset keeps me single

I say better to be single than to waste your time, I could be dating or in a relationship right now. But I know it wouldn't have substance and it wouldn't go anywhere just the same type of women I've canoodled and cavorted with in the past, a few months of honeymoon period, then back to the pits of sorrow kicking myself again and again. It's sad the women I always seem to attract beautiful on the outside, but attention whores on instagram, juggling a gaggle of men.

I just live my life daily, discovering my passions, travelling when I can (back to vancouver next month), volunteering, working, writing.

 

[MikelArteta]

There's a lot of great knowledge being shared in this thread. I'm glad BonitaChelz can come and understand this thread for what it is. It's not an attack on women or hating women or some such nonsense. This thread mainly exists due to the dysfunction that currently exists in the dating scene and is here to help repair the rift that currently exists between men and women.

Modern feminism is a government sponsored movement with the intents of creating rifts between men and women through psychological and systematic manipulations. The purpose is to break up the family structure, which then creates a situation in which the population is dependent on the state for sustenance. Since there is no father figure in the house, it's likely the mother will have the child and be forced to rely on the system to supplement her income due to limited financial contributions from the father. This reliance creates a dependence, and this dependence is a control mechanism in which if you don't comply, your means of living is shut off.

The fact that you have men actually going to other countries thousands of miles away in order to find a woman they want to settle down with shows how devastating these policies have been on the relationship between men and women. One only has to look at the monumental drop in marriage rates to see that this is true. It is sad, but ultimately men and women are being robbed of having rich, deep relationships with each other, and now, they look upon each other as sex objects to be used and discarded.

A man and a woman should be a team that works together and looks out for each other, and not be two competing entities attempting to compete for the top spot in the power chain. The power chain is irrelevant. A man and a woman who are together should use their designated rules for MUTUAL benefit. A man is at the head of the household, but that doesn't mean he is in a 'superior' position to the woman. He's merely taking on a different role. Men and women casting aside their roles and being brainwashed to fight each other over power leads to what we have today... people wandering aimlessly, wondering why their relationships never seem to last.

Just look at the black community, in the 40s, 50s,60s blacks had one of the highest marriage rates and a strong family structure, look at what was accomplished by black folks during those times.

Now look, our community is in shambles. The thing that is the majority of the men and women that made such a strong impact on our community, were young.

Malcolm X, martin luther king never saw the age of 40, and they are probably the most impactful black men who have lived the past 100 years.

Now look what we have, 40 plus year old rappers still spitting poison in the community.

Just look at the effect of the 70% fatherlessness, promiscuity and sexual abuse rampant, poverty rampant, men acting like females wearing skirts, feminized, young children in gangs, acting ignorant future already non existent, jails and drugs and violence have wiped out a whole generation