Question: When married cats say DON'T get married...
- Thread starter YBE
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Ronnie Lott
#49erGang
Na bruh, I'm not talkin no rich people/basketball wives type shhyt. I'm talkin everyday avergae guys that have to go thru this. Nyggaz that I personally know. Not ballers. Nyggaz with regular jobs. u really think that the money that nyggaz pay on child support doesn't get misused by the baby mamas? Isn't the point of child support to in fact support the child, not to buy mama a new gucci bag?. The father has every right to dictate how the money is spent. Mamas be buyin they kid payless shoe source, wal mart shoes but the mama stays in designer clothes. Baby mamas don't have to provide itemized lists of what they buy. I personally know nyggaz that pay almost 900 bucks a month for 1 kid on child suupport. U think it costs 900 bux a month to spport a 5 yr old? Cmon son
Na bruh, I'm not talkin no rich people/basketball wives type shhyt. I'm talkin everyday avergae guys that have to go thru this. Nyggaz that I personally know. Not ballers. Nyggaz with regular jobs. u really think that the money that nyggaz pay on child support doesn't get misused by the baby mamas? Isn't the point of child support to in fact support the child, not to buy mama a new gucci bag?. The father has every right to dictate how the money is spent. Mamas be buyin they kid payless shoe source, wal mart shoes but the mama stays in designer clothes. Baby mamas don't have to provide itemized lists of what they buy. I personally know nyggaz that pay almost 900 bucks a month for 1 kid on child suupport. U think it costs 900 bux a month to spport a 5 yr old? Cmon son
You are talking child support, we are talking about marriage.
child support is not a reason to not get married.
Na bruh, I'm not talkin no rich people/basketball wives type shhyt. I'm talkin everyday avergae guys that have to go thru this. Nyggaz that I personally know. Not ballers. Nyggaz with regular jobs. u really think that the money that nyggaz pay on child support doesn't get misused by the baby mamas? Isn't the point of child support to in fact support the child, not to buy mama a new gucci bag?. The father has every right to dictate how the money is spent. Mamas be buyin they kid payless shoe source, wal mart shoes but the mama stays in designer clothes. Baby mamas don't have to provide itemized lists of what they buy. I personally know nyggaz that pay almost 900 bucks a month for 1 kid on child suupport. U think it costs 900 bux a month to spport a 5 yr old? Cmon son
Do you have kids? I spend $200 a week just on daycare for one kid. I wish I could pay somebody $900 a month to take care of my kids. And like I said if those dudes don't like how the money is spent they can fight for custody and lower payment.
I said this , but he ignored it.
child support is less expensive than actually raising a kid
We need to accept the fact that everybody's experiences with marriage are different. I'm definitely not trying to discourage anybody, just giving people things they need to think about. The fairytale mentality is what catches people off guard. For a marriage to be successful you have to work at it.
I've learned more from my mistakes than my successes. A person who has a car that has never stalled can't teach me to how to fix it when it does happen. They can simply teach me how to maintain my car to prevent it from happening. I got that experience under belt, and I know that if I ever decide to get married again, I will be more informed and make better decisions and judgment calls.
I don't regret getting married, but I don't think I made the best decisions while doing so. It's good to hear some positive examples as hope that some marriages do thrive.
I pray that your marriages continue to prosper and props to you for managing to keep it all together. It's a bigger accomplishment than most realize.
I've learned more from my mistakes than my successes. A person who has a car that has never stalled can't teach me to how to fix it when it does happen. They can simply teach me how to maintain my car to prevent it from happening. I got that experience under belt, and I know that if I ever decide to get married again, I will be more informed and make better decisions and judgment calls.
I don't regret getting married, but I don't think I made the best decisions while doing so. It's good to hear some positive examples as hope that some marriages do thrive.
I pray that your marriages continue to prosper and props to you for managing to keep it all together. It's a bigger accomplishment than most realize.
Doesn't this depend on the combined incomes of the parents (and the percentage of income each bring to the table) though. Unless you're comparing to a single parent w/o no help what so ever.
I have a kid. Me and my wife split and I now have to pay child support. At first I looked at it like "Well, she's getting less money now than when I was taking care of them so whatever." But I realized that at the end of the day I lost.
When we were together I was able to take care of my child at a level that I saw fit. Now I am subjected to payments in which she can do whatever she wants with no interference. I can't tell her how to spend that money on my child. In addition, I still take care of my son out of my pocket because I refuse to let the court system make me feel like a sponsor with visitation instead of an involved parent.
One of the hardest thing about a failed marriage isn't splitting with your spouse, it is being separated from your kids and having your role as a parent minimized. My wife moved 250+ miles away, but I make it my business to get my son every 3 weeks and keep him for a week.
It's really tough when you're actually going thru it.
Have you ever looked into getting joint custody, Or fighting for a more favorable situation?
My soon to be ex-wife did me dirty. She left with my son when I was at work and moved 250+ miles away. You already know that when you're married, both parents have equal rights, so it wasn't kidnapping. Then she hit me with an order of protection claiming that I threatened to hurt her and my child which was false. Child services got involved and I went thru hell.
I was fighting an uphill battle and my legal expenses were ridiculous. I eventually got everything thrown out, but because she was already in this new place for 6 months they gave her full physical custody because my kid is only 2 and the child lawyer felt that it would be too much to have him split between the two homes. I do however have joint legal custody.
The funny thing is that now I can get my son whenever I want. I have him way more often that my visitation order. She just secured custody so that she could get child support. Once I regroup from the financial beatdown that I just took, I will go back to court to get things revised.
Me and my ex-wife are on okay terms now, I just want to get my divorce finalized before I make another move. These women are much smarter than we think. My ex-wife did things during this whole court proceeding I didn't think she would ever do. I learned a valuable lesson indeed.
Damn sorry to hear that bruh. I'm glad to hear you have had some success and will continue to fight for your kids. I couldn't imagine what your going through, I'd go nuts if somebody left with my kids. It does help to know your own rights, and position yourself to defend against that type of thing.
All I can say is keep fighting for them and they will appreciate you in the long run.
I actually stopped fighting with her because I wasn't going to get anywhere going that route. Once the order of protection was lifted (6 months later), we spoke and settled our difference like adults and made plans for how we were going to co-parent.
I had to be the bigger person and extend my hand in peace. A woman is more built for these emotional wars than we are. I had to forgive, take the"L" on my marriage and focus on what was important which was the welfare of my son.
I'm definitely in a better place now, and I always talk to her to see if we can resolve things instead of running to the court. With all of this being said, I don't hate the institution of marriage. I just recognize that I made some bad decisions that I have to live with.
Marriage can be a beautiful thing if both people love each other enough to never consider divorce as an option. I'm definitely no where near ready to attempt it again though.
DaRealness
I think very deeply
My experience was enough for me. So I'm not letting it happen a second time.