Question: When married cats say DON'T get married...

[AlreadyKnow]

Just how serious are they being?

Is it one of those "this bytch gets on my nerves but, I still love her" type deals or a "I stood over our bed with a knife in my hand" type deal.

It's "If you know what's good for you, never marry and fukk up your life like I did." No one listens. It's a lesson learned the hard way.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

Im glad we got cats like Sharp that give you the REAL DEAL on marriage. So many times cats be on some "marriage is beautiful,blah blah" but they dont tell you what it really is.Hate to say it in this day in age,you have to put $$ aside in case you and the wife dont make it. Im not trying to be negative but you got to be prepared to leave in case stuff pops off.Yeah she may be a good GF but no guarantee she will be a good wife and even good mother.I dont blame cats who sign pre-nups.Marriages come and go,but when it comes to kids thats when its ugly.She can use a kid against you,just because she birthed it. Plus the courts dont care about you. Then the kids grow up to HATE the father,because the mother instilled some wack nonsense.....relationships,marriage is becoming a joke these days.You know who loses in all of this..... THE MAN especially if he is a good man.

 

[twan83]

Im glad we got cats like Sharp that give you the REAL DEAL on marriage. So many times cats be on some "marriage is beautiful,blah blah" but they dont tell you what it really is.Hate to say it in this day in age,you have to put $$ aside in case you and the wife dont make it. Im not trying to be negative but you got to be prepared to leave in case stuff pops off.Yeah she may be a good GF but no guarantee she will be a good wife and even good mother.I dont blame cats who sign pre-nups.Marriages come and go,but when it comes to kids thats when its ugly.She can use a kid against you,just because she birthed it. Plus the courts dont care about you. Then the kids grow up to HATE the father,because the mother instilled some wack nonsense.....relationships,marriage is becoming a joke these days.You know who loses in all of this..... THE MAN especially if he is a good man.

it is true u got to be prepared at any given time with the worse case scenario. No matter how much u love them u can't put past you it can END ANYTIME. I love my wife but im well prepared if worse case shyt happens i always have my options open no matter what so i dont get side bombed out the blue. of course i dont want that to happen but when u aint prepared you can get royally screwed.

Ive been married twice and the first time i didn't see it coming from her but i was well prepared cuz one i wanted out but couldnt at the time and
2. i kept my option opened in case worse case happens in return i got this

Custody of my kids and get child support in return and freedom from her and even got her to sign divorce paper saying due to child neglect you only have supervised visitation. i was so prepared when she left i got a lawyer the next day and had him file it 3 days later

I wish everybody a good marriage but u better be prepared if she leaves your ass or he leaves your ass. What you gonna look like if u depended on that person the whole time you gonna be lost broke confused and then some.
You aint no one to blame but yourself just cuz u get married dont mean you stop being independent you stay that way but share your stuff certain things with your spouse.

 

[JLova]

It's "If you know what's good for you, never marry and fukk up your life like I did." No one listens. It's a lesson learned the hard way.

Funny, I have a buddy who loves being married. Who should I believe?

 

[Guess Who]

My marriage was fine until my son was born. That's when my wife realized that her life was about to change and she wasn't ready for it. That's my take on it, I'm sure she feels otherwise.

Our relationship was always about fun.

I made a couple of mistakes myself. I let her get comfortable with not doing shyt. I was trying to be a good husband by doing everything, not realizing that I was making her feel more entitled. I was exhibiting simp like behaviors

If you ask her, she would probably say that I stopped being spontaneous and fun, but as adults and parents, we have responsibilities and have to clamp down. We stopped seeing eye to eye. The respect was gone. She became very disrespectful and would say really hurtful things. I would feed into it and retaliate. The fights got worse. We went to counseling. We've attempted to make it work. But it got to the point that we were both only there for the sake of our kid.

We started sleeping in separate rooms, she started doing what she pleased. When I came home from work (she wasn't working), she would jump in my car, leave me with my son and wouldn't return home until 1am. It wasn't until we got into a really big argument and she called the police that I knew that she was plotting against me. She was making a papertrail. I still got caught up in it, but lucky for me I never got arrested because I never put hands on her.

Once the trust is gone, the relationship is flatlined. When we stopped trusting each other, it was like beating a dead horse. The funny thing is that I still love my wife. I just acknowledge that we aren't right for each other. I learned to forgive which allows me to be at peace. I was only married for 2 years.

There were a lot of good moments though. My ex-wife was never cheap with me and bought me lavish gifts. We vacationed all the time. And we did have fun.

I would have stayed with my ex-wife and tried to work it out, but you can't keep anybody that doesn't want to be there. The irony is that I'm the one who left, but I didn't have a choice once she got the police involved.

You never truly know a woman until you have a kid with her.

Again, thanks for the insight. I'm sorry it didn't work out, dog.

 

[Sharp]

I don't want to scare anybody away from getting married. I'm fortunate that I was able to spot that it wasn't going to work early on and was able to separate. I feel sorry for the men who after being married for 10+ years, their wife all of sudden wants to get up and leave.

That's the hardest thing about marriage. You can't force somebody to say who doesn't want to stay. You can be the best husband in the world, but if your wife wants to leave, there is no court in the world that is going to make her stay. And depending on the length of the marriage you may have to pay alimony; if you have kids you will pay child support, and if she gets custody you will be reduced to a sponsor with visitation.

That's why I say if you don't find happiness in making your wife happy, then marriage isn't for you because most of you will find yourselves attempting to keep the peace in your marriage. If she's not happy, she will eventually divorce you, and when women file for divorce it has been a thought in their minds for many months. At that point what's done is done.

If your woman can be vindictive to another individual, when times get crazy she can be vindictive to you as well. Keep that in mind.

Get to know somebody good and well before you marry them. The 7 year rule before marriage is real. Wish I would have took heed.

 

[MikelArteta]

Sharp would you get married again?

 

[Sharp]

Sharp would you get married again?

No time soon.

I would have another long term committed relationship, but I don't have a desire to get married.

I have kids and I don't want anymore. I'm not trying to start a new family. Only thing I'm looking forward to is somebody to have fun with and enjoy life with. I don't think I have to get married again to achieve this.

WHo knows... things could change. But for right now, marriage is not in my future or thought process