On a serious note, who's been divorced or going through one right now?

[MeachTheMonster]

He's asking for advice


Nobody is saying to divorce his wife right this second, he should seek proof because the story and her actions are not adding up.






If he key logs and finds out she's cheating he's in a position of power, he will have piece of mind and can make a proper decision since she's never going to just come out and say she's cheated on him. Basically you're saying ignorance of the situation is better than finding out and laying all doubts to rest, and that is just dumb, especially for a man in the military. He clearly wants to believe she's never cheated, even though the picture he painted for us is pretty vivid.
Lies and deceit only make things worse? Yet his wife potentially cheating on him and possibly lying to him is just a moment. You're too pressed on going at "Coli nikkas this coli nikkas that" that you're just giving out shytty advice.

No being across the ocean maybe in combat knowing your wife is getting her back blown out will not grant you "piece of mind" nor will you really be able to make rational decisions.

And I never said her potential lying/cheating is a moment. I said committing your own lies and deceit to combat it is the wrong option.

I'm married, if I ever felt the need to stalk my wife I wouldn't be asking her "are you cheating"

I would be telling her. "I suspect your cheating and I'm probably gonna be checking on your communications"

Honesty and open communication is the way to go.

 

[Solano707]

@Blaxican707 , have you ever cheated on ol' girl?

Like when we first got together like 15 years ago - but we worked passed it. In highschool

 

[Malta]

No being across the ocean maybe in combat knowing your wife is getting her back blown out will not grant you "piece of mind" nor will you really be able to make rational decisions.

So, worrying about whether or not his wife is lying and cheating on him is ok, but finding out that she is and putting all doubts to rest is bad. Backwards breh, completely backwards.

And I never said her potential lying/cheating is a moment. I said committing your own lies and deceit to combat it is the wrong option.

I'm married, if I ever felt the need to stalk my wife I wouldn't be asking her "are you cheating"

I would be telling her. "I suspect your cheating your cheating and I'm probably gonna be checking on your communications"

Honesty and open communication is the way to go.

Yeah, you're definitely not dealing with reality. Who even speaks like that, "I suspect you're cheating, Im gonna check on you" You're a trip breh, good luck with your marriage if you think accusing your wife of cheating and telling her you're gonna keep an eye on her like she's Greg Focker is a good approach.

 

[61 Corpses]

What race is your wife breh?

 

[Malta]

Like when we first got together like 15 years ago - but we worked passed it. In highschool

Women NEVER forget.....


You got past it, she kept it in her back pocket.

 

[Solano707]

Women NEVER forget.....


You got past it, she kept it in her back pocket.

No one forgets

 

[Solano707]

What race is your wife breh?

Black.

 

[MeachTheMonster]

So, worrying about whether or not his wife is lying and cheating on him is ok, but finding out that she is and putting all doubts to rest is bad. Backwards breh, completely backwards.

With each post you completely misrepresent what I said. And argue against your own made up points. That's a sign of weakness.

I never said worrying was ok or that knowing is bad. I said neither situation will bring piece of mind. The only way to gain piece of mind would be to get his household/communication with his wife in order. Regardless is she's cheating or not.

Yeah, you're definitely not dealing with reality. Who even speaks like that, "I suspect you're cheating, Im gonna check on you" You're a trip breh, good luck with your marriage if you think accusing your wife of cheating and telling her you're gonna keep an eye on her like she's Greg Focker is a good approach.

It's the right approach. If I even feel the need to say it she's already lost my trust. So it's in her best intrest to work to regain it. If she doesn't think it's worth it then I already got my answer. If she proves me wrong then it would be up to me to apologize and regain her trust.

Relationships work best when you lay it all on the table honestly. Coming up with covert power tactics only leads to ruin

 

[mcdivit85]

Nah, he just needs to regain control and never wonder why his wife has a new trick with her tongue.

When I say "control the situation", I mean from his own perspective. Gaining control would be coming to grips that his wife is being disrespectful and is most likley cheating. Then, take action to confirm this information prior to taking any action to end the marriage. And while waiting on said confirm, work on tying up the loose ends such as:

- setting a plan for confirming if infidelity is in place-PI, keylogger, etc.
- finding a quality divorce lawyer and getting the proper divorce paperwork
- getting acquainted with family law and possibly finding an attorney to handle the aftermath related to child custody
- figuring out how to protect his assets in case of a divorce as best possible i.e. setting up the proper entities
- figuring out the living situation for when he gets back....if adultery is confirmed

So on and so forth.

From the sounds of it, dude is doing very well for himself financially. Dude needs to get on the ball because per his sig, dude is reppin California. If that's true, then dude really needs to start thinking strategically because that state is one of the worst when it comes to divorce proceedings....and they've been together for 15 years.

Dudes want to clown about "spying" and "being insecure", but that has nothing to do with it. I'm not talking about spying on a chick you've been on a few dates with or have been dating for a few months. We're talking about the mother of dude's children, the woman this dude is supporting financially, the woman who is in charge of the household finances.....and the woman who lives in California who sounds like a stay-at-home mom whose been married to this dude for years and years.

Let's be real here, dude needs to know for his own state of mind. But also dude needs to know, so that if his marriage goes left, he has some protection in the divorce proceedings. Having evidence of his wife having an affair and being a drug user could go a long way. I know it sounds f#cked up to plan this kind of thing, but if it gets to the divorce level, then I doubt she would take any mercy on him when her meal ticket is in danger of being stripped away.

Again, if he's from California, then his pockets are going to get that work if he's not prepared. We're talking about a dude working hard for years and years trying to provide for a woman who is out here dirtying his family's name and embarassing his children all because he didn't give her enough phone minutes.

Peace

 

[TEKBEATZ]

Damn this thread is sad af

 

[Phoenix_Knightly23]

@Phoenix_Knightly23 whats your take on this

smh I've seen this shyt so many times and went through it myself. Almost went through with the paperwork until fam talked me out of it. @Blaxican707 you'll know when you've had enough of the BS...

Guarantee you'll go through this shyt again next TDY/Deployment. Don't let this female make you look foolish. Get cheated on and your bank account depleted with a quickness. Some of these dudes in here really are giving you solid advice...

 

[young3000]

I'm just on the first 2 pages and at these stories

Breezy and them were right....they really ain't loyal

 

[LionofJudah]

Get ready to move back into the barracks.

 

[Clark Wayne]

So, worrying about whether or not his wife is lying and cheating on him is ok, but finding out that she is and putting all doubts to rest is bad. Backwards breh, completely backwards.





Yeah, you're definitely not dealing with reality. Who even speaks like that, "I suspect you're cheating, Im gonna check on you" You're a trip breh, good luck with your marriage if you think accusing your wife of cheating and telling her you're gonna keep an eye on her like she's Greg Focker is a good approach.

Exactly, that's like knowing someone is stealing from you and then saying, "well i suspect you're stealing from me, so from now on I'm going to be monitoring your actions in order to confirm whether or not you are indeed stealing from me."

 

[Data-Hawk]

When i was cheated on, here were the signs

- She became distance
- All of a sudden she has a new cousin.
- The sex stop, told me she didnt want to be touched by anybody.
- She would get mad at me easily
- Only time she wanted to talk is when she needed something.
- Talking on the phone with her 'cousin' all day. I had the phone records.


I asked her over and over, is this person really your cousin? She would say yes. I asked her a dozen times, are you cheating? She would always say 'No'.

So i put a keylogger on her computer and found all the answers i needed.. Its crazy how at the time you think you'll never get over it. But with time you will.. My gut told me she was, but my ego got in the way.





Whats funny, even to this day. She still blames me for her stepping out.. lol.. Bruh life is toooo short for drama.