Good morning! I hope you have an amazing day y'all!
Just trying to speak it into existence
Just trying to speak it into existence
Essential Official Random Thoughts Thread (Ladies only)
Elle Driver
Veteran
This going to be my face today 
but I'm not trying to show it, just trying to keep it on the inside. My husband says I don't know how to hide my emotions, half the time I be like 
but I feel like my face is saying 
but I'm not trying to show it, just trying to keep it on the inside. My husband says I don't know how to hide my emotions, half the time I be like but I feel like my face is saying 
I see a lot of talk here about women needing to be held accountable for their actions, especially regarding their dealings with the opposite sex.
I agree, women should be held accountable for their actions, whatever they may be, just like men should be held accountable for their actions, whatever they may be. A condition of adulthood is that we take responsibility for our actions because we can only control ourselves.
But the vibe that I get from the (mostly) men who say that is not only should a woman admit when she messes up, but she should apologize, repent and even suffer for her actions, especially when her actions result in an undesired outcome.
The most common example I see of this is a woman who dates "thugs" and repeatedly gets dogged by them.
Yes, she should bear the responsibility and it's consequences of her choice in men.
No, she doesn't have to apologize to the "good guys" she turned down. She doesn't have to continue to deal with it if she chooses not to. And she definitely doesn't deserve scorn and ridicule for realizing the error of her ways and seeking to change them. Are people not allowed to change?
I agree, women should be held accountable for their actions, whatever they may be, just like men should be held accountable for their actions, whatever they may be. A condition of adulthood is that we take responsibility for our actions because we can only control ourselves.
But the vibe that I get from the (mostly) men who say that is not only should a woman admit when she messes up, but she should apologize, repent and even suffer for her actions, especially when her actions result in an undesired outcome.
The most common example I see of this is a woman who dates "thugs" and repeatedly gets dogged by them.
Yes, she should bear the responsibility and it's consequences of her choice in men.
No, she doesn't have to apologize to the "good guys" she turned down. She doesn't have to continue to deal with it if she chooses not to. And she definitely doesn't deserve scorn and ridicule for realizing the error of her ways and seeking to change them. Are people not allowed to change?
I shouldn't be on The Coli while in class, I'm trying not bust out laughing at some posts right now
you're having a formal wedding? or what's happening in july?I really cannot wait until July. I feel like I won't be relieved until then. I'm also kind of annoyed because my brother keeps saying it's weird I didn't have a wedding.
Been pretty carefree all week.
My father calling me earlier telling me how much of a failure I am doesn't help things either
My father calling me earlier telling me how much of a failure I am doesn't help things either
Paradise
Too tired to think of something witty to say...
Damn Regine!Been pretty carefree all week.
My father calling me earlier telling me how much of a failure I am doesn't help things either
Is that a cultural thing for them to shun you because you didn't turn out the way they thought you should have?
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CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
Been pretty carefree all week.
My father calling me earlier telling me how much of a failure I am doesn't help things either
sounds like my grandparents.
Grandma! I don't need your validation.But if you're reliant on your parents, then unfortunately. You have to deal with their stipulations.
Yup, which is exactly why I'm working so hard to maintain my new job so I can just stack up enough to move away
But if you're reliant on your parents, then unfortunately. You have to deal with their stipulations.
Can this day be over already...
Good luck with everything.
QueenSheba
All Star
When you have a religious family this is what most of them do. This goes for any religion. They denounce their OWN children and shun them away if they don't fellow their ideologies. It's disgusting. My father is a pastor and I'm the youngest daughter in his family. He's a very strict man and it's the same thing with my mother (they're separated due to him cheating).
My older brother and I got sick of both of our parents and we just lay it all out with pure facts. We talked about the Bible and question it if it's man made. We talked about the orgin of the name "Jesus" and how that name never existed and we talked about why the Europeans indoctrinated their religious views onto our ancestors and why we're prying to a white Jesus, etc.
We went in until he cursed us out and we left his home. This was three months ago. He never called us or check to see if we're alright. Same thing with our mom. I called this crazy man 7 times to try and talk this out and he never picked up. We have our own house and cars, etc.
It is what it us. I don't need him. I'm grateful that he took care of my brothers and sisters, but I'm a grown women now. It sucks that he rather choose his man made religion over us but that's life. I believe in God but I don't believe in a organizate religion.
But if you're reliant on your parents, then unfortunately. You have to deal with their stipulations.
They're the worst. Trying to dictate your life and making you feel like less of a person. Acting like theyre perfect. It makes me sick but I feel you sista.
Regine, you don't have to prove anything to your parents but yourself. If they shun you away and tell you that you're a failure just walk away and use that as a motivation to drive for success. You're a beautiful human being and I hope you succeed in life. Don't let your parents hold you back. You have potential to go far in life and I hope you push yourself to succeed. Don't worry you'll make, I know you will.
God, it angers me that religious parents think they're perfect. But at the end of the day I accomplished so much and I continue to succeed.