Something has been bothering me about Dany's position of "bend the knee and then I'll help you," but I couldn't quite put it into words
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So I had to borrow bars from the one true king of Westeros, Stannis Baratheon
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In Storm of Swords, after Stannis comes to the wall and ambushes the wildlings, he has this conversation with jon:
"Why do you think I abandoned Dragonstone and sailed to the Wall, Lord Snow?”
“I am no lord, sire. You came because we sent for you, I hope. Though I could not say why you took so long about it”
Surprisingly, Stannis smiled at that. “You’re bold enough to be a Stark. Yes, I should have come sooner. If not for my Hand, I might not have come at all. Lord Seaworth is a man of humble birth, but he reminded me of my duty, when all I could think of was my rights. I had the cart before the horse, Davos said. I was trying to win the throne to save the kingdom, when I should have been trying to save the kingdom to win the throne.”
Like Davis said in episode three, the northerners and the wildlings raised Jon up as their king because he gave them reason to. He saved the free folk at hardhome. He saved the North from the boltons. And now he's trying to protect them from the white walkers. To a northerner, Dany is just the foreign daughter of the southern king they overthrew. She's never even set foot in the North. If she were to assist them in fighting the army of the dead, and THEN ask them to accept her as their queen, she would have a much easier time