Yesterday, my nikka Link was perusing the land when he was catcalled by a Zoran jawn skinny dipping in a river.
After a little convo, she hinted that she'd let him smash b/c he looked like this famous Hylian Celebrity from a century ago...
He was just out bullshytting and trying hunt some wild boar, so he was like fukk it.
Almost turned back when that bum ass Sidon literally sent him into a valley to be robbed and mauled to death on some "let me see you deal with danger on the way to the crib." They must have really gotten a deal on property because they clearly gentrified in a terribly dangerous area, brehs.
Caught a couple bodies and realized this Zoran culture was in dire need of #HylianExcellence to save them from some shyt.
Yo, almost killed that Kermit the frog ass MUZU for his not so low key racist shyt. "I don't trust shady Hylians", "What is a Hylian doing wearing that?!"
Yo, if it wasn't for Link remembered how much Mipha was a ride or die... BEST BELIEVE POTS would have been overturned in every room with NO. fukkS. GIVEN.
Anyway, brehs...
it took me an HOUR to body that half man- half horse nikka, Lynel. I had 4 hearts and only 1 weapon that had 24 damage. My children were watching me get ragdolled on some McGregor shyt...had Link talmbout, "He's not fast. He's composed, but me know he's not fast or strong."
I literally had to keep trying because I stress to my children about the importance of grit and work ethic but I was GETTING HEATED as fukk.
Finally, I figured him out and parried the shyt out of him - that's when Link was looking like
Rupee Mayweather with the defensive block and pop, parry and pop.
UNTIL...
EVERY. SINGLE. WEAPON. BROKE.
Link had this nikka LEAKING with only a little health. I thought shyt was over until my oldest was like, "Daddy, use your bombs!"
Link was literally fighting w/ a Coca Leaf until I decided to pull up like cops on him, parry and bomb this big fukk until he spinned then he dropped, nikka.
Yo...it literally one of the most fulfilling game successes I've ever had. Kids and I were hype as fukk! Me, because I finally beat this shyt that had me thinking I was playing Dark Souls and my kids were hype because I promised them I'd let them play Mario Kart ONLY after I beat dude.
Sunday was a good day.