My homie asked his girl to sign a pre-nup. She said no

[DaChampIsHere]

Again, this notion is ridiculous.

To you it is.

The point of marriage is something to last forever. In my opinion (you do not have to share this) letting the prospect/thought of failure overshadow the purpose of what you are doing (marrying someone forever), means you shouldn't be doing it.

Again, pre-nups are not even full proof

example: woman wants to go to club and tells boyfriend. He doesn't like it and doesn't agree to it. She suggest he's giving her a hard time cause he doesn't trust her.

At that point they should break up if they feel strongly about their stances and it's something that will be recurring in the relationship as a problem for one party.

If the guy who is TS's friend does not like his fiance saying she won't sign a pre-nup, then he should definitely leave if it's a big issue for him. There's nothing wrong with people having their opinions/things that make them uncomfortable, but they should also not conform on things they really hold strongly too because it will be a problem later on down the road.

 

[Malfoy]

how many of the married guys on here have pre nups?

NOT A SOUL.

 

[BillBanneker]

Now he's at a stalemate. Dude just wants to protect the property that he owned before they get married.

She's playing the "You're predicting us to fail! Do I seem like the type of woman to do you dirty?!?" card and refusing to sign.

Any advice for this brother. He's a good dude too. and I know he loves her dearly. She's a good girl as well and not the gold-digging type but she's stuck on the perception of the whole thing.

I told him to flip it on her and say "If we don't work out then you got nothin to worry about baby."

It's lookin like he's gonna have to just let it go and get married or make a point and break-up.

They both feel VERY STRONG about this. I told him if he gives up now he's taking the first L of his marriage and its a sign of things to come.


I'm just glad it aint me bruhs.

But if it was me I'd call her bluff and cancel the wedding. The embarassment a woman gets from a cancelled engagement >>>> a mans.

I want them to work out tho. We need more black love.

They needed to discuss this matter before the "getting married" stage.

 

[winb83]

To you it is.

The point of marriage is something to last forever. In my opinion (you do not have to share this) letting the prospect/thought of failure overshadow the purpose of what you are doing (marrying someone forever), means you shouldn't be doing it.

Again, pre-nups are not even full proof

At that point they should break up if they feel strongly about their stances and it's something that will be recurring in the relationship as a problem for one party.

If the guy who is TS's friend does not like his fiance saying she won't sign a pre-nup, then he should definitely leave if it's a big issue for him. There's nothing wrong with people having their opinions/things that make them uncomfortable, but they should also not conform on things they really hold strongly too because it will be a problem later on down the road.

The greatest power a person has in any relationship is the ability and willingness to walk away. Lots of people give that power up for the sake of love and attachment. Whoever isn't willing to walk has to accept the other person's terms. lots of men won't walk away so when their woman pulls stunts like this they're forced to accept it and take a bad deal just to continue the relationship.

 

[young3000]

Dude said he was paying for all if not most of the wedding and putting her through med school

she still want sign them papers....ungrateful if you ask me

 

[PrnzHakeem]

how many of the married guys on here have pre nups?

I do not have a pre-nup, and I came in to the marriage with retirement and investment accounts close to $80K in balance. She came into marriage with $250K worth of med school and business school debt. Pre-nup aint protecting shyt.

But if we get divorced down the line, the joke is on her cuz she'll be paying alimony off that surgeon salary.


TS's homie needs to get that pre-nup cuz if his wife is thinking about med school, i'm assuming a divorce would place her school loans on his books anyway, IN ADDITION to his ex being entitled to his property. He actually has something substantial to lose, so he needs to not back down.

 

[-G$-]

NOT A SOUL.

I do not have a pre-nup, and I came in to the marriage with retirement and investment accounts close to $80K in balance. She came into marriage with $250K worth of med school and business school debt. Pre-nup aint protecting shyt.

But if we get divorced down the line, the joke is on her cuz she'll be paying alimony off that surgeon salary.

 

[Stuntone]

Your friend is a b:tch for not bringing this up a long time ago. He looses a lot of respect whether she signs it or not because he's debating it when he should be mandating it.

People and women change like the wind, all it takes is a group of sistas shaming her about not being a strong enough black woman. And she'll be combative towards you. Sometimes there's no way you can tell how a person will behave after and during a divorce. The sweetest woman can become a stone pyscho with the right lawyer and bitter hoez in her ear.

 

[unit321]

Yeah, if he wants to protect his credit and assets in case of divorce, then that is the way to go. People change. "But people don't change, right?" Wrong.

Just as a real example, (these are people I know so I have to change their names) Bob meets Sally. Sally is my sister-in-law. They are both the same income level. Neither have huge assets to lose or gain from each other. She actually has more. They do end up getting married. No pre-nup. Years go by, he's making good money. She ends up getting laid off from work but he's making enough so she doesn't work anymore and takes care of their child. Thanksgiving rolls around one year, and I overhear her talking about her trips to a casino with her other sister, Janice. Sally goes to one particular casino to gamble. That's her way to have fun. She likes blackjack. That's her game. No one really knows how the relationship is really doing but it looks fine on the outside. Blah blah blah, Janice asks Sally if she's up or down. Sally says she's minus whatever. It's not a huge amount. Well, Sally says "It's really exciting when she wins." Okay, I've heard "that" before from others who had gambling issues. I don't say anything. She's wouldn't take advice from me and thinks she's in control of the situation. She's a b***h who I don't trust from previous things but that's that. She's gonna do what she's gonna do. She's not that deep in the hole... yet.
Months pass by. One day, I come home from work and my wife is crying. Sally is committed in a mental hospital. What? She went off in the deep end and had suicidal contemplations. Why? She went to a casino and gambled. Me, I'm thinking that's odd. My wife tells me more. She lost a ton of money and had nothing left. She calls 911 and ends up committing herself. Story goes deeper. She was regularly going to this casino and her husband let her go because that made her happy. She had emptied savings accounts, 401 savings, racked up credit card debt because she was losing more on each trip. Sally had money given to her by her parents to invest in the stock market on their behalf. They thought Sally would know which companies would be good to choose. She takes this money and gambles and loses it all. The parents didn't know that; and this is thousands of dollars. She also had established a line of credit with the casino. Her husband gives her money to pay off this line of credit (I don't know why he trusted her). She goes to the casino, doesn't pay off their debt, but ends up gambling that all and loses it all. Pretty much sabotages their family's financial situation. Credit cards maxed out. No more bank account funds. Maxed out casino credit. Nothing left.
Super-deep <enter whatever words you think fits here>. The family didn't have enough for that month's bills and these are middle-class people in a nice apartment complex. Bob and Sally get separated and wait to finalize the divorce. She files for bankruptcy. BUT, she's only liable for half the thousands of dollars they owed to the credit card companies. This stuck the ex-husband with half her gambling debt. No pre-nup. Their marriage was on the rocks and things were going downhill. She gambled to cope. S-N-A-F-U.

Anyway, wish them the best. They need to work that situation out.

 

[gldnone913]

how many of the married guys on here have pre nups?

i don't, but i didn't have much of a retirement or much of a salary when I got married

i wasn't really established.....now if i got married at this point in my life, either sign it or peace out

 

[Ricky Church]

Tell him to man up grow some balls and make the bytch sign it otherwise tell her to fukk off.

He probably won't listen but hey. nikkas get got everyday over some woman bullshyt, what's another one


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk breh.

 

[PrnzHakeem]

Yeah, if he wants to protect his credit and assets in case of divorce, then that is the way to go. People change. "But people don't change, right?" Wrong.

Just as a real example, (these are people I know so I have to change their names) Bob meets Sally. Sally is my sister-in-law. They are both the same income level. Neither have huge assets to lose or gain from each other. She actually has more. They do end up getting married. No pre-nup. Years go by, he's making good money. She ends up getting laid off from work but he's making enough so she doesn't work anymore and takes care of their child. Thanksgiving rolls around one year, and I overhear her talking about her trips to a casino with her other sister, Janice. Sally goes to one particular casino to gamble. That's her way to have fun. She likes blackjack. That's her game. No one really knows how the relationship is really doing but it looks fine on the outside. Blah blah blah, Janice asks Sally if she's up or down. Sally says she's minus whatever. It's not a huge amount. Well, Sally says "It's really exciting when she wins." Okay, I've heard "that" before from others who had gambling issues. I don't say anything. She's wouldn't take advice from me and thinks she's in control of the situation. She's a b***h who I don't trust from previous things but that's that. She's gonna do what she's gonna do. She's not that deep in the hole... yet.
Months pass by. One day, I come home from work and my wife is crying. Sally is committed in a mental hospital. What? She went off in the deep end and had suicidal contemplations. Why? She went to a casino and gambled. Me, I'm thinking that's odd. My wife tells me more. She lost a ton of money and had nothing left. She calls 911 and ends up committing herself. Story goes deeper. She was regularly going to this casino and her husband let her go because that made her happy. She had emptied savings accounts, 401 savings, racked up credit card debt because she was losing more on each trip. Sally had money given to her by her parents to invest in the stock market on their behalf. They thought Sally would know which companies would be good to choose. She takes this money and gambles and loses it all. The parents didn't know that; and this is thousands of dollars. She also had established a line of credit with the casino. Her husband gives her money to pay off this line of credit (I don't know why he trusted her). She goes to the casino, doesn't pay off their debt, but ends up gambling that all and loses it all. Pretty much sabotages their family's financial situation. Credit cards maxed out. No more bank account funds. Maxed out casino credit. Nothing left.
Super-deep <enter whatever words you think fits here>. The family didn't have enough for that month's bills and these are middle-class people in a nice apartment complex. Bob and Sally get separated and wait to finalize the divorce. She files for bankruptcy. BUT, she's only liable for half the thousands of dollars they owed to the credit card companies. This stuck the ex-husband with half her gambling debt. No pre-nup. Their marriage was on the rocks and things were going downhill. She gambled to cope. S-N-A-F-U.

Anyway, wish them the best. They need to work that situation out.

Pre-nup wouldn't have saved the husband, he was explicitly funding her gambling. Of course he would be on the hook.

 

[R.E.N. Spells Ren]

To you it is.

The point of marriage is something to last forever. In my opinion (you do not have to share this) letting the prospect/thought of failure overshadow the purpose of what you are doing (marrying someone forever), you shouldn't be doing it.

The problem with your opinion is that it's based on a ridiculous requirement that we be omniscient. None of us can predict the future, a prenup is only the prudent thing to do. It's not "letting the prospect/thought of failure overshadow" the purpose of the marrying forever....that's pure hyperbole.

No one's tryna go back to the days when a divorce wasn't on the table, yet having that 'out' doesn't overshadow the sanctity if marriage. Somehow, tho, placing some guidelines on that 'out' is a problem.


Edit: And who gives a fukk if ain't fool proof, it's still the prudent thing to do.

 

[DaChampIsHere]

The problem with your opinion is that it's based on a ridiculous requirement that we be omniscient. None of us can predict the future, a prenup is only the prudent thing to do. It's not "letting the prospect/thought of failure overshadow" the purpose of the marrying forever....that's pure hyperbole.
No one's tryna go back to the days when a divorce wasn't on the table, yet having that 'out' doesn't overshadow the sanctity if marriage. Somehow, tho, placing some guidelines on that 'out' is a problem.

If you don't trust someone and the prospect of them changing worries you shouldn't marry them, you shouldn't marry anyone. Like I said, pre-nups can be thrown out and you can still lose. Its really more logical for some of you to never get married with the way you feel. It would be too much for you all to risk if you think failure is possible

I wouldn't mind if divorce wasn't an option that was on the table.

Pre-nup wouldn't have saved the husband, he was explicitly funding her gambling. Of course he would be on the hook.

At letting my non working wife go to the casino, without me, and spend my money.

 

[PrnzHakeem]

At letting my non working wife go to the casino, without me, and spend my money.

And then, giving her money to "pay off" her gambling debts and blindly trusting her.

Where do they make these niccaz?