mollywaterco

[Still FloW]

And to think this played out like some TV Mini Series or Novel, complete with new twists and turns in fukkery

Part 1 (The Reveal)
The Real Mollywater is unveiled to the Coli, with a warehouse full of product ready to go, and a fully functional website. Nigerian is put on notice, all hell breaks loose.

Part 2 (The Deflection)
The full extent of the failure on Mollywatrs part is realized. Pictures of @MollyWaterCo with paid models, TShirts, beachballs, lanyards, and promo videos mocking MollyWatr are shown. It is also revealed that Nigerian never trademarked the name "Mollywatr" and Young Sean Jazzy Jeff got his in January. Kenny tries to downplay the significance of these developments but the damage has clearly been done

Part 3 (The Photoshop is Open for business) The Coli's resident photoshop wizards take notice of the thread. A barrage of legendary gifs, smilies, and pictures are added and enjoyed by all at Nigerians expense. 100 dap posts are seen all over. Laughs and smiles are shared by all,. Also several grammatical errors (besides the E being missing from water) are revealed on Nigerans bottle. More fukkery is insured (by state farm)

Part 4 (The Ether) @MollyWaterCo makes his arrival at the Coli with one of the most soul burning, triumphant, highest dapped first posts of all time. After letting it marinate for a little while he returns again.......this time with FREE SHIPPING AND PROMO CODES. Hell breaks loose again, Free T-Shirts and Lanyards are given out as the extra bit of spit on NIgerians grave, Coli Peeps are getting hydrated and beach balls thrown in for the hell of it

Part 5 (The Interlude) Mike the Marketing guy, after having his business slandered by Nigerian, stops by to give his own version of the events. It is revealed Nigerian tried to sell 1% of his company for $15,000, and was laughed off of skype. Also re-revealed that he really was on the verge of being evicted from his one room fully furnished with an air mattress loft. More jokes made at Nigerians expense. Mike promises a follow up article destroying Nigerians character and business by the same sites that were hyping him up just recently

Part 6 (The Burial) Yet To Come. Coli peeps start receiving their Mollywater care packages. Pics are posted, lanyards are worn, hydration is achieved. The Coli as a family electric slides on the grave of Ikenna Unaeze and Mollywatr. Mollywaterco becomes a respected member of the site and sponsors our next raffle. He also buys the "Mollywatr" trademark and essentially forces Nigerian out of business. After discovering the terms "Coli Water" "Prolly Water" and "Jolly Water" are also trademarked, Kenneth contemplates suicide.Not a single fukk is given

Once we reach part 6 this thread will be ready for the rafters

The details
The execution

FLAWLESS....

 

[Theraflu]

2013

Coli History

Theraflu Was Here

 

[Savior]

Damn this is the GOAT coli thread so far


But really I gotta laugh at anyone who took nigerian's fakkit ass seriously at any time during this mollywatr fiasco with his dumb ass instagram pics

 

[TheodoreBrehIII]

Ay @TheodoreBrehIII come get yo client. He's strugglin out here

Dear Mr. Essdot,

Breh and Associates has ceased all interactions with Mollywatr. We refuse to have any association with people who exploit tragedy. Since we are an esteemed and distinguished firm, we are privileged to be able to pick and choose who we represent. Mr. Steele, aka Mr. Unaeaze, is not up to our qualifications.

Sincerely,
Theodore J. Breh III, esq.

Spoiler

 

[CJ]

2013

Coli History

Theraflu Was Here

You put in work breh

 

[NoMoreWhiteWoman2020]

@montpelier @TheFemalePerspective y'all doing schoolwork on this, i have to write a discourse analysis, i could look at this, and identify how all the five faces of oppression and how the oppression impacts on the individual, institutional, and cultural level.

 

[TheKang]

This here unfolded like one of them "Mayhem" insurance commercials


I expect someone to die via Trident on page 200

 

[the cac mamba]

theres 2 things the nigerian did where i dont know how anyone could feel the slightest bit of sympathy for this fukkin dude

the first was when a breh asked him how to buy some mollywatr, and he gave him 5 steps of how to promote it on social media just to have the privilege of getting a t shirt. the epitome of a smug cocksucker

the second was using that dead kid as an advertisement. if that was my son i might put paper out on this dude

and on an unrelated note, the nigerian tryin to play the race card when the founder of molly water is black

those things combined turned me from a passive observer into actively hoping that this thread ruined his life

also that caping from kermit the busta was

 

[newworldafro]

hold up ... dude bought MollyWatr naming rights before Kenigerian?????

......... ................................................................................. ........................................................................

 

[Human Torch]

this shyt gets more epic by the day.....I almost feel bad for Nigerian

Spoiler

Almost.

 

[babylon1]

the second was using that dead kid as an advertisement. if that was my son i might put paper on this dude

someone should contact the kid's family and show them that their dead son is being used to pawn water to drug addicts. and someone should contact coca cola n tell'em that this fakkit nigerian is using their logo

 

[Stacks]

someone should contact the kid's family and show them that their son is being used to pawn water to drug addicts. and someone should contact coca cola n tell'em that this fakkit nigerian is using their logo

For real. That kid stunt was fukking disgusting. If that was my seed, fukk putting a price on his head, I'd have to track son down and burn his fukking house down (well, his empty "loft", but you get it)

 

[pickles]

God damn this thread is long. Is it worth to read from the beginning brehs?

 

[CJ]

Part I find quite funny is Mollywatr is the one with the bad press when you search, while Mollywater reaps the benefits of the sales

God damn this thread is long. Is it worth to read from the beginning brehs?

Breh, so worth it. Will take a few hours though... but the comments, gifs and twists make it all worth it

 

[HoloGraphic]

MollyWatr Coli Stocks must be looking