Men who got married, aside from religious grounds....
- Thread starter FijiWatr
- Start date
Hacksaw Jim Thuggin
Superstar
i matured...got tired of running the street...found a woman with common goals...company i enjoyed...sexy...smart....fun to be around...wanted her to know how serious i was....yea we couldve shacked up, but i wanted her to know i wasnt just in it for live-in box....i wanted a partner....
like ive said....i wanted to get married
Hacksaw Jim Thuggin
Superstar
One day I'll figure out why cats on this board hate marriage so much.
its not their fault...thats what ive figured out....theyre from a generation of single parents...most havent seen a healthy relationship...theyve seen their moms/pops go thru countless relationships so thats what they know...
marriage uses a relationship as leverage to obtain a signature on a contract that says if the relationship fails the breadwinner (likely the man) will surrender half of all they own whether or not the other person helped to obtain it and in some cases will require the lesser of the income individuals to receive monthly payments from the greater.One day I'll figure out why cats on this board hate marriage so much.
i don't really think anyone hates marriage as much as they hate the terms one has to face when ending a marriage. remove those penalties and nobody would give a shyt.
oh yeah and no fault divorce. your wife cheats on you and defiles your marriage and you file for divorce if you're the breadwinner you're paying out.
i matured...got tired of running the street...found a woman with common goals...company i enjoyed...sexy...smart....fun to be around...wanted her to know how serious i was....yea we couldve shacked up, but i wanted her to know i wasnt just in it for live-in box....i wanted a partner....
that's not marriage
marriage is
you could potentially live with that woman for the rest of your life and never sign such a contract. the truth is you know she won't accept that and at some point if you don't sign that contract you're gonna lose her.
your signing of such a contract doesn't let her know she's not just live in box it simply exposes you to whatever penalties await you should your relationship fail.
Well there you have it. nikkas have a very false and distorted understanding of marriage and divorce.
I blame the Internet
Hacksaw Jim Thuggin
Superstar
i forget how dumb some of yall are...
youre here to tell me about my life...
...by not knowing one thing about me...youre trying to do this....seriously? i dont know why i even bothered....
Hacksaw Jim Thuggin
Superstar
Well there you have it. nikkas have a very false and distorted understanding of marriage and divorce.
I blame the Internet
thats only part of it...nikkas have no valid life experience and only have the internet...
they are a generation raised by single parents...of course they are against marriage...theyve never seen a successful relationship...let alone a marriage
i'm not a b*stard child. my parents were married when they had me and i'm almost 30 now and they are still married. i grew up in a two parent home. besides they're in their 60s and come from a generation where people were more inclined to work through their problems in marriage then look up an old fling on Facebook and reconnect to distract themselves from problems.thats only part of it...nikkas have no valid life experience and only have the internet...
they are a generation raised by single parents...of course they are against marriage...theyve never seen a successful relationship...let alone a marriage
successful relationships are as much about luck of the draw as they are about hard work and dedication. you alone cannot will a successful relationship into existence. you can do everything right and still come home and have your wife tell you "I don't love you anymore I met someone else."
DaChampIsHere
Survive the drought
And your analogy sucks. If you can't see the logical difference between your analogy and the actual discussion/question, then IDK what to tell ya kiddo.
Doctor Gonzo
Head full of acid
now you're telling a man what/what doesn't count as his marriage? WTF is wrong with you Simple Jacks?
its not failing. people dont want to WORK at it.
we almost always like to take the easy way out. we figure if its to hard lets do something to make it easier. the problem with that mentality is we only think about the moment. we never think about the future. it may be hard this year. but its the best thing since sliced bread for the next 20 years if you get past these first 2.
its pretty obvious there is no better alternative.
be single is a choice that can be made and biblicaly speaking is a good choice. anything aside from that is fools gold.
you live with someone for 10 years, then leave. you were basically married. you can fool yourself into believing otherwise if you want to. if you were faithful to one person and held each other down under the same roof in the same bed for 10 years. you are married. now did you go in front of God and make that claim? if not you should have. it would've made it that much more fulfilling. but of course you cant believe that unless you understand it. you can't understand it, unless you believe in biblical principles.
ask yourself this question and keep it 150. we all know the divorce rate is sky high for believers of all religions and non believers. its about 50/50 for non christians and christians. and its for the reasons above. people dont realize the kind of work it is. people also go out picking their own mates instead of allowing God to lead you to your spouse. thats strike one. then we go out and have premarital sex with said person. strike 2. so no wonder we strike out once we get into a situation with another person where we both have to compromise a lot to succeed together.
but back to my point. 50/50 divorce rate to marriage. the underlining reason is always the same. HE didnt make me happey, she didnt make me happy, I wasnt happy in my marriage.
once these people get divorced and start dating again, then get remarried or shack up or whatever for years. are they happy then? yes....for a time. then here it comes again. "i'm not happy, my marriage is not making me happy, my relationship is not making me happy."
why does this happen? said person probably never figured out what the issue was on their end from the previous marriage/10 year relationship. so they take that baggage into the new one. wash, rinse and repeat.
lastly, said person always talking something making them happy is usually extremely selfish inside of a relationship. they are not willing to compromise. and when they do compromise they only do so if the other person does the same. if not, they take back their compromise. that aint a marriage at all.
people think its supposed to be 50-50. 50% me 50% my spouse. WRONG. its supposed to be 100% You and 100% your spouse. cause if by chance your spouse doesnt come thru as he/she should have your 100% effort will cover both of you until next time. and vice versa.
again back to what i said in my original post. it can only get worse the more people QUIT on each other. because guess who the unmarried folks are looking at? YOU mr and mrs divorcee.
i mean lets be real, what are the reasons dudes are marrying chicks?
#1 . i knocked her up
#2 . since i'm having sex with this girl (premarital) and i know jesus and something in me keeps saying premarital sex is wrong so i might as well marry the girl. I guess i love her. i'm having sex with her all the time, we kind of hang out. we cool..
#3 . when be together for a long time and she keeps pressuring me. so i guess i might jump the broom
#4 .She is crazy thick, you see them ta taas..
, you see that a..., she a bad .... i got to make her mine so i can have that in bed and on my arm.#5 . she's the last one standing. since i cheat on all my chicks. she's the last one to still seems to want to be around me. so i guess i'll choose her for being a trooper. she must love me...right?
^^nothing above says I LOVE this woman so much that i cant see a life without this woman.
God + You = The complete equation. no one should COmplete you outside of God/Christ.
your significant other should ENHANCE YOU.
let me say that again. that "HE completes me, or She completes me.." NONSENSE. NO PERSON, HUMAN on earth should complete you. if you leave yourself open to that thinking what happens if you never meet said person or it doesnt work out or he/she dies early on in yall relationship. will you therefore live the rest of your life Incomplete?
God/Christ is THEE only being that COMPLETES YOU. Cause he's the only thing that knows more about you, then yourself, your parents and your significant other combined.
once you realize the above then we can move to the next step. for a dude, how do i find a woman that ENHANCES me? let me ask again. how do i find a woman that ENHANCES ME? i bolded ME for a reason. i didnt say i do i find a GOOD woman. there's lots of good ladies out there that will hold you down, you wont share dat girl cause she wont cheat, and will keep things right around the house and you and her will be cool. nope. you deserve more then that.
think about it, ADAM and GOD were chilling. did adam need anything else in life? NOPE. but God gave him EVE. she Enhanced him and enhanced his stay on earth. of course this is pre first sin.
if a lady/dude does not Enhance you in any way shape or form. its time to move on. no hard feelings.
and financially is not what i'm talking about. that can go and come, come and go.
it cant be physical features. that can come & go with age or a bad accident. imagine your wife (dime piece) was one of the ladies hit in that boston bomb. legs gone, face all scarred up.
what about likes? that can change with age. your basic likes and dislikes can drastically change with age. this is how people that have been married for 30 years decided to get divorced at year 31 cause "we dont like the same things anymore." so thats not anything you should gauge if someone enhances you.
enhancements -Spiritually, Mentally, Emotionally.
Do you have a better spiritual Life with God because of your significant other?
Do you have a better mind state(the way you think about things, the way your spouse thinks about things and brings them to your attention to help you see things in another way so not to stress you out the way you use to stress about these same things before you met your significant other.) Can your significant other Push you to be better then you currently are?(as a person)
Emotionally... ties into mindstate. can said significant other make you feel Better on most days then you did when you were alone? better about yourself? better about life in general?
if the answer to these questions are no. DO not marry said person.
the reason everybody is getting divorced and trying to make up their on version of marriage is because they both did not take the 3 main things above into account. they got married for other reasons. and once one, two or more of those things died off the marriage died because the marriage was built on a foundation of sand. the moment the wind blows its a wrap.
ones' intentions don't change the meaning of something already defined by law. if i walk in a store and rob it with the intent of showing the store owner his goods are valuable my intent means nothing the law says i'm a thief.
WTF is wrong with you Simple Jacks?
people who have no emotional attachment to each other get married to merge families and wealth. marriage is a legal thing. that's why it can't end with both partners alive without going through courts.
i can see though many of you want to associate the emotional bond you share with a significant other with the legal institution of marriage. in my own mind i've already separated the two because they are separate.
Zapp Brannigan
Captain of the Nimbus
i matured...got tired of running the street...found a woman with common goals...company i enjoyed...sexy...smart....fun to be around...wanted her to know how serious i was....yea we couldve shacked up, but i wanted her to know i wasnt just in it for live-in box....i wanted a partner....
like ive said....i wanted to get married
Do you think that you could have held onto her without the marriage contract?
Zapp Brannigan
Captain of the Nimbus
That's your opinion, but it doesn't make their answers invalid. Plenty of people do see the need for a contract. Other people see the need to make that pledge with their god. You've made it clear on multiple occasions that you are against marriage, so why are you always in these threads? Are you trying to convince others or yourself that marriage is bad?
The contract of marriage is purely legal. American society dictates that it's very difficult to raise a family properly without that contract. You can ignore that fact if you want but that won't change it
I wasn't talking about religious reasons. I don't really see how such an easily dissolved contract (relatively speaking) really means much of anything these days. It's actually sad, really. I don't see the point in taking such a huge risk with the way people act. There's so much to lose, and I just don't see a whole lot to gain.