I'm on day 92 sober and I gotta admit...I don't get obliterated, only about a pint (Vodka), but it's daily. That's what I need to stop is that daily habit. shyt's hard breh, I get off work and I feel like I deserve a drink. But it affect my drive to go to the gym and I know it can't be too healthy any way. If I can just limit it to Fridays and Saturdays I'd feel more control.
The way you're talking is EXACTLY how I was when I quit. I was a "maintenance drinker". No binges but daily 6 packs of 9% IPAs. I was usually fit and in great shape but the drinking sapped all motivation to go to the gym.
I'm so thankful to be sober!
Your drinking is much worse than you can imagine. Your addict mind is hiding the truth from you. I'm 99% sure you got the 'ism (but it's not my place to tell you that).
Life is so much better sober. It's worth whatever you gotta do to get there.