My fellow alcoholics. I relapsed and just got out the hospital at 230 pst.
I did a week!
I did a week!
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Look I'm a straight drank-a-holic and I'm sipping my last drink as we speak.
- Thread starter Robo Squirrel
- Start date
Got a buddy in the hospital with liver and kidney failure. He has had a rough few years - like I said life is tough and you can easily find yourself in a state of despair. I think he has given up at this point - I know exactly how he feels and it breaks my heart.
If you decided to go sober, you may need to do it in a medical setting since you can actually die if you quit alchohol too fast
Did nicole pm you in your disappearanceMy fellow alcoholics. I relapsed and just got out the hospital at 230 pt.
I did a week!
don't tell her about it
FreedMind
DOPAMINE FOR MY BABY!!
I'm not sure if I was ever an alcoholic or addicted. I think I probably qualify tho.
Started drinking at 21 in college. Countless good memories were made, and it's easy to see how alcohol became such a crutch for me being that I made so many positive associations with drinking during those early years.
It's also where I picked up the bad habit of binge drinking. I didn't really drink every day, but when Thursday would come around, my housemates and I would never fail to pick up a handle. We'd pour up and sip as quick as we could before we'd go out, each of us believing that we'd be saving money since we wouldn't buy overpriced drinks at the bar. That never worked tho, cause all it took was for one of us to buy rounds before we were fukkin up numerous shots or beers at the bar.
No hangovers, I was working out or balling up the next day, easy. Wasn't nobody fukkin with my clique, we grew so tight that I'm glad to say we're still close to this day. &The college girls were thirstin so heavy, had me real life acting a fool, disrespecting women because I had so many options.
I moved back to my hometown with no job lined up post grad, often finding myself isolated and idle. I was growing anxious and depressed, the post college blues hitting me hard. I was desperately trying to keep the good times from drying up, so I'd turn to the liquor, like it was the secret solution to all my problems.
It was never an every night thing, but I knew that as soon as the weekend came around, I HAD to check out of my mind, and check into a bottle. It started off innocuous enough, fun nights with old and new faces alike kept me preoccupied, too distracted to face my problems.
But I was dwindling at a painfully slow pace. The nights stopped being fun; the hangovers started feeling like concussions; and instead of alcohol acting as a sort of bridge for my social life, it became a barrier that actively hindered me from making new friends, and otherwise destroyed what little social circle I had in my hometown.
When I finally did get a job, I wasn't at my best. My job performance teetered between barely acceptable and worthy of termination. I was ashamed and debated if I was good enough. I carried a youthful indifference, but I was just in denial.
It wasn't an every day thing, but I was so desperate, and I wouldn't stop. I wanted to believe I could keep them good days going, so I didn't give myself any breaks. At that point, a week without drinking was worthy of celebrating, by drinking.
The nights turned ugly. I was miserable and the alcohol wasn't masking it any more. I rarely blacked out, but I had plenty of nights where I'd drink myself sick, clearly a form of self harm most likely done as a hopeless call for help.
No one came though or called me out on it. Most folks encouraged it to some degree. I wonder why in retrospect, it was clear that I was doing too much.
This post became a lot longer than I anticipated. It's the first time I've really reflected this thoroughly, and I'm glad I possess such a clear recollection of my ordeal. Sorry for the wall of text tho brehs.
I started my post by saying I didn't know if I was an alcoholic, but after all that typing, it's clear that I was. I suppose I only ever doubted it because I've been able to cut it out from my life completely without much issue psychologically or physically. 2019 has been the first year since I graduated where I actually have a positive outlook on my life going forward. I'm doing good and that ain't no posturing.
Started drinking at 21 in college. Countless good memories were made, and it's easy to see how alcohol became such a crutch for me being that I made so many positive associations with drinking during those early years.
It's also where I picked up the bad habit of binge drinking. I didn't really drink every day, but when Thursday would come around, my housemates and I would never fail to pick up a handle. We'd pour up and sip as quick as we could before we'd go out, each of us believing that we'd be saving money since we wouldn't buy overpriced drinks at the bar. That never worked tho, cause all it took was for one of us to buy rounds before we were fukkin up numerous shots or beers at the bar.
No hangovers, I was working out or balling up the next day, easy. Wasn't nobody fukkin with my clique, we grew so tight that I'm glad to say we're still close to this day. &The college girls were thirstin so heavy, had me real life acting a fool, disrespecting women because I had so many options.
I moved back to my hometown with no job lined up post grad, often finding myself isolated and idle. I was growing anxious and depressed, the post college blues hitting me hard. I was desperately trying to keep the good times from drying up, so I'd turn to the liquor, like it was the secret solution to all my problems.
It was never an every night thing, but I knew that as soon as the weekend came around, I HAD to check out of my mind, and check into a bottle. It started off innocuous enough, fun nights with old and new faces alike kept me preoccupied, too distracted to face my problems.
But I was dwindling at a painfully slow pace. The nights stopped being fun; the hangovers started feeling like concussions; and instead of alcohol acting as a sort of bridge for my social life, it became a barrier that actively hindered me from making new friends, and otherwise destroyed what little social circle I had in my hometown.
When I finally did get a job, I wasn't at my best. My job performance teetered between barely acceptable and worthy of termination. I was ashamed and debated if I was good enough. I carried a youthful indifference, but I was just in denial.
It wasn't an every day thing, but I was so desperate, and I wouldn't stop. I wanted to believe I could keep them good days going, so I didn't give myself any breaks. At that point, a week without drinking was worthy of celebrating, by drinking.
The nights turned ugly. I was miserable and the alcohol wasn't masking it any more. I rarely blacked out, but I had plenty of nights where I'd drink myself sick, clearly a form of self harm most likely done as a hopeless call for help.
No one came though or called me out on it. Most folks encouraged it to some degree. I wonder why in retrospect, it was clear that I was doing too much.
This post became a lot longer than I anticipated. It's the first time I've really reflected this thoroughly, and I'm glad I possess such a clear recollection of my ordeal. Sorry for the wall of text tho brehs.
I started my post by saying I didn't know if I was an alcoholic, but after all that typing, it's clear that I was. I suppose I only ever doubted it because I've been able to cut it out from my life completely without much issue psychologically or physically. 2019 has been the first year since I graduated where I actually have a positive outlook on my life going forward. I'm doing good and that ain't no posturing.
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Nah. She dgaf about a real person.Did nicole pm you in your disappearance
Plus i can give a f what anybody thinks. Thats y I boss up n skeet.
Smokin Rider
I been official
Still been a struggle for me, the last post, I said it helps cause I've been working 7 days a week but, I been getting stressed out and my momma stopped talking to me for a reason I cant even begin to comprehend (sometimes she just distant but she hasnt returned a call or text in a month, and last time we talked it was all good and fun 
). So I started drinking every night for a solid week but quit again for a week till last weekend. I decided since I finally got a day off I would celebrate with a bottle... it's all bad though because my ex, who I still love and knows what I been goin thru (and told her I quit drinking) called me around midnight askin wyd, she wanted to kick it... I told her I messed up and drank again and was too faded to get her. Even if i lied she would know immediately, she just ended up stayin on the phone with me for a couple hours tryna motivate me. Which helped, the next day I had a massive hangover but went and watched lion king with her anyway. No drinking today either, everytime I do, a good opportunity presents itself while I'm drunk and already fukked up
). So I started drinking every night for a solid week but quit again for a week till last weekend. I decided since I finally got a day off I would celebrate with a bottle... it's all bad though because my ex, who I still love and knows what I been goin thru (and told her I quit drinking) called me around midnight askin wyd, she wanted to kick it... I told her I messed up and drank again and was too faded to get her. Even if i lied she would know immediately, she just ended up stayin on the phone with me for a couple hours tryna motivate me. Which helped, the next day I had a massive hangover but went and watched lion king with her anyway. No drinking today either, everytime I do, a good opportunity presents itself while I'm drunk and already fukked up
You didn't say too much or little.I'm not sure if I was ever an alcoholic or addicted. I think I probably qualify tho.
Started drinking at 21 in college. Countless good memories were made, and it's easy to see how alcohol became such a crutch for me being that I made so many positive associations with drinking during those early years.
It's also where I picked up the bad habit of binge drinking. I didn't really drink every day, but when Thursday would come around, my housemates and I would never fail to pick up a handle. We'd pour up and sip as quick as we could before we'd go out, each of us believing that we'd be saving money since we wouldn't buy overpriced drinks at the bar. That never worked tho, cause all it took was for one of us to buy rounds before we were fukkin up numerous shots or beers at the bar.
No hangovers, I was working out or balling up the next day, easy. Wasn't nobody fukkin with my clique, we grew so tight that I'm glad to say we're still close to this day. &The college girls were thirstin so heavy, had me real life acting a fool, disrespecting women because I had so many options.
I moved back to my hometown with no job lined up post grad, often finding myself isolated and idle. I was growing anxious and depressed, the post college blues hitting me hard. I was desperately trying to keep the good times from drying up, so I'd turn to the liquor, like it was the secret solution to all my problems.
It was never an every night thing, but I knew that as soon as the weekend came around, I HAD to check out of my mind, and check into a bottle. It started off innocuous enough, fun nights with old and new faces alike kept me preoccupied, too distracted to face my problems.
But I was dwindling at a painfully slow pace. The nights stopped being fun; the hangovers started feeling like concussions; and instead of alcohol acting as a sort of bridge for my social life, it became a barrier that actively hindered me from making new friends, and otherwise destroyed what little social circle I had in my hometown.
When I finally did get a job, I wasn't at my best. My job performance teetered between barely acceptable and worthy of termination. I was ashamed and debated if I was good enough. I carried a youthful indifference, but I was just in denial.
It wasn't an every day thing, but I was so desperate, and I wouldn't stop. I wanted to believe I could keep them good days going, so I didn't give myself any breaks. At that point, a week without drinking was worthy of celebrating, by drinking.
The nights turned ugly. I was miserable and the alcohol wasn't masking it any more. I rarely blacked out, but I had plenty of nights where I'd drink myself sick, clearly a form of self harm most likely done as a hopeless call for help.
No one came though or called me out on it. Most folks encouraged it to some degree. I wonder why in retrospect, it was clear that I was doing too much.
This post became a lot longer than I anticipated. It's the first time I've really reflected this thoroughly, and I'm glad I possess such a clear recollection of my ordeal. Sorry for the wall of text tho brehs.
I started my post by saying I didn't know if I was an alcoholic, but after all that typing, it's clear that I was. I suppose I only ever doubted it because I've been able to cut it out from my life completely without much issue psychologically or physically. 2019 has been the first year since I graduated where I actually have a positive outlook on my life going forward. I'm doing good and that ain't no posturing.
Dap+Reputation
Oh yeah i got 2 new medications now though to help me. 
...
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I did. Delete that shyt plz
Man i got stressed the fukk out n my intention was to try to get sick n fukked up enough to end up in the hospital. It worked. I was dt san Francisco and went to the bart booth and told them to call an ambulance. 
Im not proud but nikka i get the job done.