Ladies: What would you say if your bf asked you to contribute to your engagement ring?

[Arishok]

It's just a status symbol. If the guy can't afford the ring, it's just smarter to not buy one and use the money towards the wedding or a downpayment on a home etc. I can personally go without a ring.

But for the women who can't go without a ring and he can't afford one, she should buy her own. I personally would love a wedding band/engagement ring and wouldn't mind buying one for myself if he honestly just can't or even wait until he can afford it if he's a traditionalist.

 

[MikelArteta]

these old fashion women spending their own money?

its funny these old fashion women wont pay for the wedding or get their parents to pay for the wedding

 

[Remote]

An engagement ring is a gesture asking a woman to be yours (in theory) for the rest of your life.
It's also a signal to others that she's off the market.

Why should she have to contribute to the cost of it?

I mean how expensive are you going to go?

What's the general rule of thumb for engagement rings? 3-4 months salary? (it's arbitrary, i know).
But if the average person makes like 50k a year..that's...12 grand? You don't have to go that much.

I think if you need her to contribute to it, you are probably trying to buy too expensive a ring to begin with.

 

[Desirous]

But for the women who can't go without a ring and he can't afford one, she should buy her own. I personally would love a wedding band/engagement ring and wouldn't mind buying one for myself if he honestly just can't or even wait until he can afford it if he's a traditionalist.

That's fair. Everyone is different. My man would know not to ask me to chip in though

 

[KinksandCoils]

Would you end the relationship?

No of course not. I would say buy a cheaper ring or wait until you can buy the one you want for me to have. But I'm not paying for it.

 

[Raava]

I wouldn't. Just like I wouldn't ask him to contribute on something I'm giving him.

It doesn't have to be fancy either, it can be really simple.

It can be upgraded later if it's that serious.

 

[Arishok]

That's fair. Everyone is different. My man would know not to ask me to chip in though

That's why I said we agree to disagree I wouldn't have a problem if he asked me to chip in but I would rather he buy it himself. Kind of ruins the surprise when he proposes and all of that.

 

[Remote]

she better go in on that house, tho.

Unless it's gonna be in your name

 

[marcuz]

 

[Elle Driver]

If he's broke why not.

 

[Arishok]

Now if you ask me to chip in to the ring AND pay for the wedding?

 

[Remote]

Now if you ask me to chip in to the ring AND pay for the wedding?

I am fine with marriage but I am kind of against weddings.

50k for a wedding party that lasts like 5 hours and you can't even eat or enjoy it because you're spending half the time being nervous, not eating, shaking and kissing friends and relatives' cheeks...taking pictures.

How about...5k for a party...10 to the wife to spend on whatever fukking shopping spree she can fathom...and the rest on a down payment for that house?

 

[Desirous]

I am fine with marriage but I am kind of against weddings.

50k for a wedding party that lasts like 5 hours and you can't even eat or enjoy it because you're spending half the time being nervous, not eating, shaking and kissing friends and relatives' cheeks...taking pictures.

How about...5k for a party...10 to the wife to spend on whatever fukking shopping spree she can fathom...and the rest on a down payment for that house?

No.

But yah - I don't want a crazy wedding, personally...just to have a fun time with my closest people...just a memorable night. I wouldn't be nervous cause I do event planning...we plan 150-200 events a year...so I'm used to it & don't sweat if everything isn't perfect. No one notices but you anyway.

 

[Arishok]

I am fine with marriage but I am kind of against weddings.

50k for a wedding party that lasts like 5 hours and you can't even eat or enjoy it because you're spending half the time being nervous, not eating, shaking and kissing friends and relatives' cheeks...taking pictures.

How about...5k for a party...10 to the wife to spend on whatever fukking shopping spree she can fathom...and the rest on a down payment for that house?

Or very small wedding ceremony with just your close friends and family. I don't need like a huge expensive wedding with 500 people but I do want one.(and by that I mean a wedding lol, not a expensive one)

 

[Remote]

No.

But yah - I don't want a crazy wedding, personally...just to have a fun time with my closest people...just a memorable night. I wouldn't be nervous cause I do event planning...we plan 150-200 events a year...so I'm used to it & don't sweat if everything isn't perfect. No one notices but you anyway.

No what?

Where did I go wrong?
I put in 5k for the party with friends. Then 10k for all the goddamn bags and shoes you can handle.

I think I was pretty reasonable.