It's not about being harassed. Nobody likes being harrassed.
You are over complicating this b/c u have this holier than thou view of all nerds as victims who have been rejected and downtrodden. Ur unwilling to see the truth which is that a LOT of people who subscribe to that culture are raging a$$holes. I'm not even talking just about males either. They internalized their romantic failures and refused to work on their social issues or their shyness or lack of communication skills.
Instead they use unrealistic expectations in the opposite sex as a defense mechanism that covers deeper social issues. So now instead of the conversation being "maybe I should better myself or work on me" it becomes "none of these bytches/fukkery are worthy of me".
And yes. They wear that choosiness as armor and an excuse for why they can't find anybody b/c it's easier to say "I'm single by choice" instead of saying "I'm single b/c the chicks/dudes I want don't want me and I don't think I should have to improve anything anyway, she/he should just want me for me...even tho I would NEVER accept the female/male version of myself."