I’m a football fan through and through. If you ask to me choose watching a preseason XFL game against a NBA regular season game. It’s XFL all day.
Saying that the only player I’ve ever truly followed and loved was Kobe. He exemplified everything I wanted to be, and was the only athlete that I defended 100% no doubt online from MySpace, fb, twitter to the Coli as being the GOAT. I was a Stan. I loved his obvious talent but also his willingness to openly express in order to be the best, you have to work at.
As I transitioned to adulthood, Kobe slowly became not just an athlete I loved but a motivation to go for it all no matter what and work hard.
My fandom went from watching shytty (illegal) highlight tapes late night on early stages of YouTube by sneaking to surf on the family pc, to transitioning to watching his YT interviews in my adulthood, hearing him talk about the relentlessness you need to have to be the best you can be, while being in an office at 2 am and I wanted to go to bed.
shyts been tough this past 2 days. I wanted to post a pic on ig with his jersey on, but couldn’t and still can’t post it, bc I don’t think I can articulate the impact he had for me as a kid to now being a man.
It still really hasn’t hit me yet honestly. I still think this is fake or just wrong. I may go to his funeral if I can afford it, just to see what he represents one last time.
His death invokes so many emotions of wanting to support the inner child within me who's heart broken, to realizing I’m a grown ass adult who had my idol always there and is gone. To understanding that even your hero is mortal and so am I.
So many other things and low moments he helped me to type about, but I’m just going to stop.