John Hammond is the worst theme (Jurassic) Park owner ever.

peppe

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John Hammond: Let's create some pterodactyls and put them in a giant bird dome. :lolbron:
Scientist A: But why? They can literally fly away? You probably can't even bring guest in there? They some mean ass birds :gucci:
John Hammond: Do I pay you to ask me stupid questions? :unimpressed:
John Hammond Internally: Time to start that pterodactyls underground fight ring. Call it the PterrorDome. Genius.:whew:

fukk you nikkas I'm dying here :russ::mjlol:
 

KravenMorehead™

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He gave Velociraptors kitchen access too... they don't have opposable thumbs, Velociraptors can't cook. :martin:

John Hammond: Let's create some pterodactyls and put them in a giant bird dome. :lolbron:
Scientist A: But why? They can literally fly away? You probably can't even bring guest in there? They some mean ass birds :gucci:
John Hammond: Do I pay you to ask me stupid questions? :unimpressed:
John Hammond Internally: Time to start that pterodactyls underground fight ring. Call it the PterrorDome. Genius.:whew:

I will never understand the motivation of that shyt. Let’s create unkillable bio weapons that we can’t really control. Sure it would be fun to just drop a crate of raptors in a terrorist camp, but then what comes next? shyt can’t be cost efficient

I had a hard time with the control aspect in the new ones. In the OGs I can theoretically see how they thought they could keep shyt contained on a zoo island away from the world.

In Jurassic World, we literally saw nothing demonstrating even a remote level of control and they were talking like they had domesticated the raptors like dogs. Their entire evidence about control was Pratt holding their attention for about 5 seconds before almost eating him. How does anyone look at that and be like yeah, this is it. We did it.

facts. if it had been my scientific experiment dinosaur amusement park safari things would have gone much more smoothly

The fact they kept on cloning dinosaurs again and again, even though every time humankind interacted with them there were disastrous consequences :russ:
WHO WAS INSURING THESE PEOPLE?!?!?! :mindblown:

I swear its like they have the same business plan as umbrella Corp

Not all the dinosaurs was bad just the meat eaters everything else was fine...:francis: could have just had a zoo full of plant eaters kids can interact with but that indian muthafukka was a complete idiot and didnt learn shyt from john hammond...:mjlol:

The caucacity of Jurassic Park is just :wow:

It's almost as bad as Vera Farmiga being sad her kid died in The Bay in 2014, and going full Science Karen and unleashing Ghidorah on the world, killing hundreds of thousands, if not mlllions, in Godzilla: King Of The Monsters :why:

Breh had the common sense of an overly-excited seven year old :pachaha:

Plus, who was suffering from PTSD. :mjgrin:

alan-raptor.gif

I been laughing like the past 5 min
:russ::mjlol:




i'm in tears :laff:
 

taker597

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lookin like some shyt outta castlevania
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So, 18 foot tall Pelicans.... They are gonna be like.... "Welcome another family friendly addition to Jurassic Park. Please keep all non expendable toddler in arms at all times." :mjlol:

Somebody would tell dey kids when they acting up... " You better behave before I take a life insurance policy and take your ass to Jurassic Park. And we'll see if you look tasty to those dinosaurs" :ufdup:
 

The axe murderer

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So, 18 foot tall Pelicans.... They are gonna be like.... "Welcome another family friendly addition to Jurassic Park. Please keep all non expendable toddler in arms at all times." :mjlol:

Somebody would tell dey kids when they acting up... " You better behave before I take a life insurance policy and take your ass to Jurassic Park. And we'll see if you look tasty to those dinosaurs" :ufdup:
hey where is junior?
 

General Mills

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Action Park (Now renamed Mountain Creek Waterpark) was a Amusement Park in New Jersey where it was like the Wild West meets Amusement Parks. All the lifeguards were teenagers, some of them drunk as booze was served there as everyday people suffered abrasions, broken bones, and some even died from the various attractions at the Waterpark.

Known Fatalities via Wikipedia:
  • July 8, 1980: 19-year-old George Larsson Jr. was thrown from the Alpine Slide when his car jumped the track and his head struck a rock. After several days in a coma, he died.
  • July 24, 1982: A 15-year-old boy drowned in the Tidal Wave Pool.
  • August 1, 1982: A 27-year-old man from Long Island got out of his tipped kayak on the Kayak Experience to right it. While doing so, he stepped on a grate that was either in contact with, or came too close to, a section of live wiring for the underwater fans that somehow became exposed, and he suffered a severe electric shock, which sent him into cardiac arrest. Several other members of his family nearby were also injured. He was taken to a hospital in nearby Warwick, New York, where he died later of the shock-induced cardiac arrest. The park at first disputed that the electric current caused his death, saying there were no burns on his body, but the coroner responded that burns generally do not occur in a water-based electrocution. The ride was drained and closed for the investigation. Accounts differed as to the extent of the exposed wiring: the park said it was "just a nick", while others argued it was closer to 8 inches (20 cm). The state's Labor Department found that the fan was properly maintained and installed, and cleared the park of wrongdoing; however, it also said that the current had the possibility to cause bodily harm under certain circumstances. The park claimed it had been vindicated, although it never reopened the ride, saying that people would be afraid to go on it afterwards.
  • 1984 (Date Unknown): A fatal heart attack suffered by one visitor was unofficially believed to have been triggered by the shock of the cold water in the pool beneath the Tarzan Swing. The water on the ride and in that swimming area was 50–60 °F (10–16 °C), while other water areas were in the 70–80 °F (21–27 °C) range more typical of swimming pools. The Tarzan Swing and the Cannonball ride in this area were operated by spring water.
  • August 27, 1984: A 20-year-old from Brooklyn drowned in the Tidal Wave Pool.
  • July 19, 1987: An 18-year-old drowned in the Tidal Wave Pool.
Also they had people get stuck, or getting knocked around so much because of the physics of the loop (most roller coaster loops are not a perfect circle for good reason), that they lost teeth. They even sent a test dummy down the slide, and the head was decapitated.

Action-Park-Loop-Slide.jpg

  • The City had to buy more Ambulances just because of the Waterpark.
  • The Tidal Pool that killed a few was called by the locals, "The Grave Pool" because it was estimated that the 12 lifeguards had to make 30 saves a day during the season.
  • There were venomous snakes on the Golf Course
  • The Alpine Slide only had two speed; Fast, and 'Death Awaits' because the brakes never worked; this caused the most injuries as there were jagged rocks on the edge that people always were tossed into, alone with people spitting down on them from the gondolas.
  • And finally no insurance firm would give them a policy, so the owner of the park created his own 'insurance firm' to keep the park open.
Omg:dead:
 
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