It's fukked up.
It's the shame of having of not being able to leave Ja and anger at you for coming back. (You wasted your chance to be an American)
Shame of having to ask for or receiving barrels or money. (A lot of old folks think they could go back to Ja after living abroad and leaving family in they house like it's sweet.
Shame they might make less money than you.
Being in a less economically strong, stable nation.
Anger you might hold your nationality over their head or as a badge. Like you're better than them.
And it's plainly apparent for 2nd gen.
Don't know how it is for you, but a lot of JA fall into the trap of thinking nationality trumps everything. My family and extended family does it to me and my generation. I feel like there's shytty support for keeping intact a Jamaican communities consciousness.
I mean when they make sure to correct you if you say you are Jamaican "
You are american."
They in turn make sure to let you know in all kinds of ways how tough it is out there and how you grew up soft here or any Anglo or white country. Basically everybody looks at you as white-washed in a nut-shell.
Also, they do NOT emphasize the culture or any of that Hyphen business. That's why Ja's assimilate into AA's fast as hell. Food might survive for a gen or 2. Music too.
Edit: It's like a dude who left his very hood block and has a nice family decades later.
He can come back and get respect up to a point. But his kids? He'll laugh cause they wasn't raised in that hood to survive like him, even if they know alot, visit, and picked up some culture. He'll tell them this and his hood will definitely laugh and check them.