Issa Rae’s Emmy Winning Series: Insecure Official Thread

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I think you might be getting caught up on wording.

I think most would agree he was a victim of being cheated on and she was a victim of being neglected. I guess it's up to an individual person which is worse, irredeemable, or a deal breaker, or if they hold equal weight in terms of moral reprehensibility.

Did you not just read the last few pages? There are plenty of people who don't think he did anything wrong. And that still did not answer my question.

I am asking for personal opinions not a round about "it depends."

 

[Tasha And]

Did you not just read the last few pages? There are plenty of people who don't think he did anything wrong. And that still did not answer my question.

I am asking for personal opinions not a round about "it depends."

I read the last page and didn't read anyone say he didn't do anything wrong. I just saw you say you got the sense that a lot of men don't think he did anything wrong. What sense I get is that they don't put cheating and a period of neglect on equal ground. And I would agree with that, considering damn near every long term relationship is going to have some down periods, where the communication isn't there, and one partner may get emotionally ignored, especially for stressed out people. It's just shyt that happens, and you'll find people still together after 20-30 years say that they got through it, particularly after the communication improved. The same can't necessarily be said for cheating.

And I thought I did answer. You wanted to define when someone could call themselves a victim, and I said she could say she was a victim of being neglected, the point being whenever he wasn't paying attention to how she was feeling, and he can say he was a victim of being cheated on. The "it depends" was about which is worse.

 

[threattonature]

Did you not just read the last few pages? There are plenty of people who don't think he did anything wrong. And that still did not answer my question.

I am asking for personal opinions not a round about "it depends."

I think what you're missing is nobody is saying Lawrence was perfect in the relationship. The problem we stated is that she never spoke to him about the problems in the relationship like an adult. I tell my female friends all the time that'll bytch nonstop about their relationship but won't say anything to their partner that they are causing their own miseries. How can you blame a dude for problems you have with a relationship if you never tell me and then actually want to leave him before giving him a chance to fix it.

Regardless if she decided she wanted out of the relationship there would be no victim. She made a mature adult decision that he wasn't the man for her. That would have been perfectly acceptable in my eyes. My problem is to hold in these frustrations and then go and cheat. Neglect in a relationship is one thing, cheating is crossing a whole other line and the fact that you would paint the two as equal is ridiculous. And that's regardless of the gender of the cheater.

Don't take the advice of childish men telling dudes to cheat if there girl is neglecting them as the mindset of mature men. There's plenty of us that believe in communication and if after that communication nothing changes then just end the relationship. Cheating is trying to have your cake and eating it too.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Lawrence was in a down in life not just in the relationship. He forgot her a bday, huge violation. However, he tried to make up for it.

He was a in a slump. He not allowed to be in a slump???

Apparently nothing he did before that garnished a breakup.

You keeping talking about Lawrence neglecting Issa and I'm saying they both were in the same place of content.

I read the last page and didn't read anyone say he didn't do anything wrong. I just saw you say you got the sense that a lot of men don't think he did anything wrong. What sense I get is that they don't put cheating and a period of neglect on equal ground. And I would agree with that, considering damn near every long term relationship is going to have some down periods, where the communication isn't there, and one partner may get emotionally ignored, especially for stressed out people. It's just shyt that happens, and you'll find people still together after 20-30 years say that they got through it, particularly after the communication improved. The same can't necessarily be said for cheating.

And I thought I did answer. You wanted to define when someone could call themselves a victim, and I said she could say she was a victim of being neglected, the point being whenever he wasn't paying attention to how she was feeling, and he can say he was a victim of being cheated on. The "it depends" was about which is worse.

If you say so. Sounds to me like he thought he was doing just fine and neglecting her is a "normal" especially since he "made up for it" by going to CVS. But you also seem to think it's normal so I could see why you'd say that.

That really wasn't what I are getting at. I asked would Lawrence still be a victim in the situation since apparently is behavior is neglectable; not whether Issa is a victim.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I think what you're missing is nobody is saying Lawrence was perfect in the relationship. The problem we stated is that she never spoke to him about the problems in the relationship like an adult. I tell my female friends all the time that'll bytch nonstop about their relationship but won't say anything to their partner that they are causing their own miseries. How can you blame a dude for problems you have with a relationship if you never tell me and then actually want to leave him before giving him a chance to fix it.

Regardless if she decided she wanted out of the relationship there would be no victim. She made a mature adult decision that he wasn't the man for her. That would have been perfectly acceptable in my eyes. My problem is to hold in these frustrations and then go and cheat. Neglect in a relationship is one thing, cheating is crossing a whole other line and the fact that you would paint the two as equal is ridiculous. And that's regardless of the gender of the cheater.

Don't take the advice of childish men telling dudes to cheat if there girl is neglecting them as the mindset of mature men. There's plenty of us that believe in communication and if after that communication nothing changes then just end the relationship. Cheating is trying to have your cake and eating it too.

Lord they were together for 5 years. 5 years that we missed. As much as Issa talks we are going to assume that in 5 years they never had any conversation about her happiness because it was never on screen? I'm pretty sure that wasn't the cast. I was always under the impression that we were seeing the end of the relationship. I'd assume this was when Issa was at her wits end and the time for discussion and "understanding" had past especially given how far checked out he was.

To the bolded, we'll agree to disagree. Dude was like this for years. I mean I just don't see how that could be acceptable. Both are reasons to leave whether you are not being treated well or you are being cheated on.

 

[Tasha And]

If you say so. Sounds to me like he thought he was doing just fine and neglecting her is a "normal" especially since he "made up for it" by going to CVS. But you also seem to think it's normal so I could see why you'd say that.

That really wasn't what I are getting at. I asked would Lawrence still be a victim in the situation since apparently is behavior is neglectable; not whether Issa is a victim.

Pink; Those posts were two pages back. As I said I only read page 182. And on the page I did read, he said that Lawrence fukked up. So yes, he was wrong. But people are disagreeing with you seemingly equating them as equally wrong.

Not sure I'd label neglect in a relationship as "normal" since it carries a connotation that it's acceptable, but I would describe it as a common relationship problem that most couples will have to deal with at some point. Same as financial issues, stress, communication breakdowns, arguments, etc. But again, that doesn't mean "not wrong." Neglect is a serious problem, one worth breaking up with someone over.

Purple; No he wouldn't be a victim. She would have left a relationship she wasn't satisfied with and that would be a commendable and mature decision. I, and someone else have already said that.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Pink; Those posts were two pages back. As I said I only read page 182. And on the page I did read, he said that Lawrence fukked up. So yes, he was wrong. But people are disagreeing with you seemingly equating them as equally wrong.

Not sure I'd label neglect in a relationship as "normal" since it carries a connotation that it's acceptable, but I would describe it as a common relationship problem that most couples will have to deal with at some point. Same as financial issues, stress, communication breakdowns, arguments, etc. But again, that doesn't mean "not wrong."

Purple. No he wouldn't be a victim. She would have left a relationship she wasn't satisfied with and that would be a commendable and mature decision. I, and someone else have already said that.

You never specified the actual pages your read. But it's all good. Thanks for answering the question. I don't think Lawrence behavior was common given the amount of time it had gone on and the extent it had reached

As far as the bold, he said they were both wrong before the cheating but Lawrence had fixed it by going to the drug store. lol Making him in the "corrected" right and her in the wrong. I just don't agree with that.

My point is that he isn't a victim. He is only feeling some type of way because his carelessness left him in a position he didn't want to be in. Obviously Issa is wrong but I just don't sympathize with him as much as others.

 

[Tupac in a Business Suit]

But what happens when you can no longer provide the excitement and can only provide the necessities? Now Lawrence and Issa weren't married or had kids but at some point shouldn't a partner be honest with themselves about their inability to deal with the downside risk?

Being cognizant of potential pitfalls in relation to finances is a given (usually) but shouldn't it be the same for emotional/mental pitfalls? I think the show illustrates how the romatcized tenets of relationships don't synch up with the basic tenets of human behavior.

Agreed. Great analysis! However, we are asking immature people to behave rationally in this situation. With age is supposed to bring wisdom, but that definitely isn't the case for all the old single miserable people milling around.

 

[MrFantastic]

You never specified the actual pages your read. But it's all good. Thanks for answering the question. I don't think Lawrence behavior was common given the amount of time it had gone on and the extent it had reached

As far as the bold, he said they were both wrong before the cheating but Lawrence had fixed it by going to the drug store. lol Making him in the "corrected" right and her in the wrong. I just don't agree with that.

My point is that he isn't a victim. He is only feeling some type of way because his carelessness left him in a position he didn't want to be in. Obviously Issa is wrong but I just don't sympathize with him as much as others.

That's not all Lawrence did tho. He was cooking dinner, ring shopping and actively looking for jobs to show he was still wanting to be in a relationship. I'm not sure why you are dismissing that. He was trying to prove that he knew he fukked up and wanted to change.

If it was too late that's another topic of discussion

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Oh and by the way Lawrence didn't actually forget her birthday. He knew they had plans and just decided didn't care. lol Starts are minute 9.






PS Issa looks so much better this season.

 

[Tupac in a Business Suit]

I think what you're missing is nobody is saying Lawrence was perfect in the relationship. The problem we stated is that she never spoke to him about the problems in the relationship like an adult. I tell my female friends all the time that'll bytch nonstop about their relationship but won't say anything to their partner that they are causing their own miseries. How can you blame a dude for problems you have with a relationship if you never tell me and then actually want to leave him before giving him a chance to fix it.

Regardless if she decided she wanted out of the relationship there would be no victim. She made a mature adult decision that he wasn't the man for her. That would have been perfectly acceptable in my eyes. My problem is to hold in these frustrations and then go and cheat. Neglect in a relationship is one thing, cheating is crossing a whole other line and the fact that you would paint the two as equal is ridiculous. And that's regardless of the gender of the cheater.

Don't take the advice of childish men telling dudes to cheat if there girl is neglecting them as the mindset of mature men. There's plenty of us that believe in communication and if after that communication nothing changes then just end the relationship. Cheating is trying to have your cake and eating it too.

I agree. Cheating is the highest order of disrespect if I had to place levels disrespect in terms of looking at this from a hierarchal aspect. Relationships are mad work and arguments are VERY healthy due to the fact that a lot of honesty comes from within that anger. After the disagreement, some forms of reconciliation should occur, hence the phrase, "never go to bed mad". If the issues still persist, then each person has their right to make a conscious decision to leave the relationship or stay, realizing that "you can't have it all". What I will understand from BlackPearls point of view and through my own experience is that loyalty and respect aren't guaranteed to always be there. We expect it to be reciprocated but it isn't a guarantee. So yes, Issa was dead wrong for cheating point blank period, but Lawrence could have spared his feelings by picking up on cues here and there in regards to her feelings.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

That's not all Lawrence did tho. He was cooking dinner, ring shopping and actively looking for jobs to show he was still wanting to be in a relationship. I'm not sure why you are dismissing that. He was trying to prove that he knew he fukked up and wanted to change.

If it was too late that's another topic of discussion

I think some of us need to watch the first season over. Seems Issa did talk to Lawrence about it and the nikka hadn't even finished his business plan and was "just getting his shyt together". lol Start at 14:55 .People see Lawrence with rose colored glasses. In the clip she says Lawrence has been getting his shyt together for 4 years.

 

[HARLEM AL]

She was with him for YEARS when he was fukking up. He left as soon as she fukked up. I swear it seems like a lot of ya'll men think "as long as I don't cheat I'm good" as if relationships are just "not cheating." That is probably what Lawrence thought too.

Issa loved him more than he loved her. His pride is hurt that is the only reason he gives a shyt.

Get the fukk out of here.

 

[RubioTheCruel]

That's not all Lawrence did tho. He was cooking dinner, ring shopping and actively looking for jobs to show he was still wanting to be in a relationship. I'm not sure why you are dismissing that. He was trying to prove that he knew he fukked up and wanted to change.

If it was too late that's another topic of discussion

Yeah I think that's what it boils down to. Issa had already checked out of the relationship mentally before the series even started. Whether or not he was at fault for that, I don't know, we have at best circumstantial evidence. I don't think it's unfair to say that Lawrence was a bad boyfriend for the tail end of their relationship.

 

[MrFantastic]

I think some of us need to watch the first season over. Seems Issa did talk to Lawrence about it and the nikka hadn't even finished his business plan and was "just getting his shyt together". lol Start at 14:55 .People see Lawrence with rose colored glasses. In the clip she says Lawrence has been getting his shyt together for 4 years.

This is what you call talking about it as she is running out the door to a see a new nikka...she didn't even take the time to explain herself or give him a chance to clarify.

You got it fam.