Is Fatherlessness A Black Women's Problem, or A Black Males' Problem?

[Queen]

How would you prefer that I prove it?

Because I've talked to many black men on this site who know black men who get rejected because they weren't popular or good looking enough. In fact I am one if those black men as well

Men and women get rejected daily. It seems that men are more likely to hold onto it 10 years later. Women reject men that aren't XY and Z, guys don't pay attention to the quiet plane Jane in the corner because they are chasing Miss Makeupface Hotintheass. What is your point?

Just because you imagine yourself to be a good catch, it doesn't mean every black woman is supposed to be attracted to you. Everyone isn't going to be attracted to you. You aren't going to be attracted to everyone. There's this thing called chemistry, either you have it with someone or you don't. Every black woman you want does not owe you the time of day by default.

Rejection is a part of life. And really, the guys complaining about being rejected for being "too nice" or whatever the catch phrase is today are usually messed up in the head, filled with anger management issues, or they are whores. Good guys who are actually a good catch don't go around talking about how much of a good guy they are. OTHER people say it, they don't need to proclaim it because it shows.

I am so sick of some of the dudes on here. Boo hoo hoo girls don't like me because I'm ugly and they want a thug. Really? That is a big leap in logic.

What girls are you talking to? Big Bertha in the corner over there is looking kind of lonely with that bag of donuts. Are you too good to talk to her? She's probably a nice girl and really smart. Does that mean you want a ratchet, wide open, baby momma whore if you decide to pass on that? Are you the only one who is allowed to have standards based on looks?

 

[Michael9100]

Are you the only one who is allowed to have standards based on looks?

Men can be shallow.... women can't! .... I mean women can but it isn't really beneficial to them...

 

[Queen]

Men can be shallow.... women can't! .... I mean women can but it isn't really beneficial to them...

Yes, it is beneficial for women to be attracted to the man they are going to be married to or even in a relationship with. That doesn't mean it should be the only standard, but I would imagine that feeling like you are being raped by an ugly ogre is probably not conducive to having a healthy relationship. Having a basic level of attraction to someone is not shallow. You can be attracted to someone who is not a 10 out of 10. But feeling attraction and not repulsion is important to most women and men.

 

[Michael9100]

Yes, it is beneficial for women to be attracted to the man they are going to be married to or even in a relationship with. That doesn't mean it should be the only standard, but I would imagine that feeling like you are being raped by an ugly ogre is probably not conducive to having a healthy relationship. Having a basic level of attraction to someone is not shallow. You can be attracted to someone who is not a 10 out of 10. But feeling attraction and not repulsion is important to most women and men.

Whats an "ugly ogre" to you?

 

[Queen]

Whats an "ugly ogre" to you?

I am married and I have no idea. But I do know that if I wasn't married, I would be under no obligation to entertain someone who I didn't find attractive or who I didn't have any chemistry with.

You can be unpopular and still attractive. You can be average height or less and still attractive. You can be goofy and still attractive. You can be a little overweight and still attractive to somebody. Heck, you can be very overweight and still find someone who will rub the sweat from your crevices and love every minute of it. But the key is to find the one who wants you for you and stop being bitter over those who aren't a good match.

 

[Michael9100]

I am married and I have no idea. But I do know that if I wasn't married, I would be under no obligation to entertain someone who I didn't find attractive or who I didn't have any chemistry with.

You can be unpopular and still attractive. You can be average height or less and still attractive. You can be goofy and still attractive. You can be a little overweight and still attractive to somebody. Heck, you can be very overweight and still find someone who will rub the sweat from your crevices and love every minute of it. But the key is to find the one who wants you for you and stop being bitter over those who aren't a good match.

You wouldn't understand why men are bitter..... but.... I agree with your point...

 

[Blackout]

Men and women get rejected daily. It seems that men are more likely to hold onto it 10 years later. Women reject men that aren't XY and Z, guys don't pay attention to the quiet plane Jane in the corner because they are chasing Miss Makeupface Hotintheass. What is your point?

Just because you imagine yourself to be a good catch, it doesn't mean every black woman is supposed to be attracted to you. Everyone isn't going to be attracted to you. You aren't going to be attracted to everyone. There's this thing called chemistry, either you have it with someone or you don't. Every black woman you want does not owe you the time of day by default.

Rejection is a part of life. And really, the guys complaining about being rejected for being "too nice" or whatever the catch phrase is today are usually messed up in the head, filled with anger management issues, or they are whores. Good guys who are actually a good catch don't go around talking about how much of a good guy they are. OTHER people say it, they don't need to proclaim it because it shows.

I am so sick of some of the dudes on here. Boo hoo hoo girls don't like me because I'm ugly and they want a thug. Really? That is a big leap in logic.

What girls are you talking to? Big Bertha in the corner over there is looking kind of lonely with that bag of donuts. Are you too good to talk to her? She's probably a nice girl and really smart. Does that mean you want a ratchet, wide open, baby momma whore if you decide to pass on that? Are you the only one who is allowed to have standards based on looks?

1. I never denied that men don't makemthat same mistake lol.

2. I am talking about average looking men getting rejected not ugly men lol. I never said that women shouldn't have any standards. If you ask me I'm saying their standards when it comes to looks and popularity wise, are too high.

3. I talked to average looking women and got rejected by them lol. Men aren't picky lol.

4. Again I said that I am talking about average looking good men who get rejected not ugly ones.

That aside when I was younger I only stated getting women when I became a playa and got popular because of it. I basically had a choice between saying good and staying single or go down the playa route and not ba a virgin anymore as well so I took the latter. I saw playas doing their thing and getting women and those same women liked to compete with each other so once I went with one the others came to me just to try and get me to cheat and spite the woman I was with. Me being immature back then took the bait and went all the way until I matured and left the playa route behind. Yet before I went to the playa route they wouldn't give me the time of day. So no I wasn't "ugly" if they liked me when I had a girl or messed with different women.

In a better world a playa would be looked down upon yet in ours they get valied more and because of that get chances to get more women.

I see many women set the stage for playas to win which is why I shake my head when women say dead beat dads are the majority and even get burned by one themselves. Many of you guys set the stage for it to be like this and then complain about it. We need a movement to go agaisnt it so younger women don't follow and end up giving the bad tyoe of men power and younger men can be influenced to not be a playa.

I'm tired of you guys making excuses instead of evaluating yourselves and realizing your immaturity costs many of you a chance to go with good men lol. All of this denying does nothing but make sure younger women end up making the same mistakes you did.

We all were immature and made mistakes. I don't know why most of you won't admit that lol.

But hey keep on doing what your doing and wonder why you somehow rarely see good black men.

 

[Queen]

1. I never denied that men don't makemthat same mistake lol.

2. I am talking about average looking men getting rejected not ugly men lol. I never said that women shouldn't have any standards. If you ask me I'm saying their standards when it comes to looks and popularity wise, are too high.

3. I talked to average looking women and got rejected by them lol. Men aren't picky lol.

4. Again I said that I am talking about average looking good men who get rejected not ugly ones.

That aside when I was younger I only stated getting women when I became a playa and got popular because of it. I basically had a choice between saying good and staying single or go down the playa route and not ba a virgin anymore as well so I took the latter. I saw playas doing their thing and getting women and those same women liked to compete with each other so once I went with one the others came to me just to try and get me to cheat and spite the woman I was with. Me being immature back then took the bait and went all the way until I matured and left the playa route behind. Yet before I went to the playa route they wouldn't give me the time of day. So no I wasn't "ugly" if they liked me when I had a girl or messed with different women.

In a better world a playa would be looked down upon yet in ours they get valied more and because of that get chances to get more women.

I see many women set the stage for playas to win which is why I shake my head when women say dead beat dads are the majority and even get burned by one themselves. Many of you guys set the stage for it to be like this and then complain about it. We need a movement to go agaisnt it so younger women don't follow and end up giving the bad tyoe of men power and younger men can be influenced to not be a playa.

I'm tired of you guys making excuses instead of evaluating yourselves and realizing your immaturity costs many of you a chance to go with good men lol. All of this denying does nothing but make sure younger women end up making the same mistakes you did.

We all were immature and made mistakes. I don't know why most of you won't admit that lol.

But hey keep on doing what your doing and wonder why you somehow rarely see good black men.

You cannot say what is average to someone or not. Some people's average is ugly to others, and some people's dime status is average to someone else. Women are entitled to have preferences.

Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps the women on this board who are attracted to sex crazed players have not posted in this thread?

Just as you are proclaiming that all men aren't the same, do you not allow the possibility for women to have varied preferences?

How can I admit something that sounds stupid to me and has never been my experience?

I don't know anyone who is attracted to dogs, nor have I ever been attracted to filthy whores so I have nothing to admit on that front. I do however know women who have been lied to, cheated on, and disrespected but I can assure you that the deceitful qualities of those men is not what attracted them. Perhaps there is a confidence about these men that is attractive. Perhaps the deceptive nature made these women see potential that didn't exist. But I don't know anyone who wants to be associated with scum intentionally.

If you would like insight on that front, you would have to address women who are interested in trash, and ask them why. Just because you have had intercourse with bird brained harlots, it doesn't mean that every single woman has that mentality. I can't relate, sorry.

As for choosing a suitable mate, I've said many times that men and women were not meant to be friends, and women should be looking at "friend zone" guys if they want to get married. Those are the guys that I have seen get married relatively young and stay devoted to their wives, so I have no issue saying that women should start considering these guys if marriage is their goal. And I have no issue saying that it does not benefit women to have sex before marriage, because it doesn't.

But all these "woe is me" type guys are not good marriage material because they are bitter, they have emotional issues, they lack an attractive personality due to their emotional issues, they are addicted to porn, and they may have had sexual experiences with far too many women.

@Michael9100 You are right, I don't understand the bitterness and I don't need to understand it in order to understand that it is not healthy. You are not entitled to any woman's time, affection, or body so get over it and adopt a more productive mindset, or rot as a bitter old man.

 

[Blackout]

You cannot say what is average to someone or not. Some people's average is ugly to others, and some people's dime status is average to someone else. Women are entitled to have preferences.

Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps the women on this board who are attracted to sex crazed players have not posted in this thread?

Just as you are proclaiming that all men aren't the same, do you not allow the possibility for women to have varied preferences?

How can I admit something that sounds stupid to me and has never been my experience?

I don't know anyone who is attracted to dogs, nor have I ever been attracted to filthy whores so I have nothing to admit on that front. I do however know women who have been lied to, cheated on, and disrespected but I can assure you that the deceitful qualities of those men is not what attracted them. Perhaps there is a confidence about these men that is attractive. Perhaps the deceptive nature made these women see potential that didn't exist. But I don't know anyone who wants to be associated with scum intentionally.

If you would like insight on that front, you would have to address women who are interested in trash, and ask them why. Just because you have had intercourse with bird brained harlots, it doesn't mean that every single woman has that mentality. I can't relate, sorry.

As for choosing a suitable mate, I've said many times that men and women were not meant to be friends, and women should be looking at "friend zone" guys if they want to get married. Those are the guys that I have seen get married relatively young and stay devoted to their wives, so I have no issue saying that women should start considering these guys if marriage is their goal. And I have no issue saying that it does not benefit women to have sex before marriage, because it doesn't.

But all these "woe is me" type guys are not good marriage material because they are bitter, they have emotional issues, they lack an attractive personality due to their emotional issues, they are addicted to porn, and they may have had sexual experiences with far too many women.

If your "preference" changes all of a sudden and magically you all of a sudden want the guy you once rejected only when he becomes a playa then it's not about his looks sista lol. Many women only like a good guy when he goes bad and becomes popular by being a playa or thug as I've seen and experienced myself.

Even if he has many kids with different women they still want him which shows obvious issues with their judgement in men.

You may not personally know these women but they exists and increase the amount of ain't shyt men out there

Yes women are allowed to have preferences but if your preferences are high when it comes to looks and low when it comes to personality don't be surprised when it bites you in the ass.

My statement applies only to those women who posses those characteristics.

Yes some men lie and deceit women which is how some end up with them but many women ignore red flags that these men show that would inform them that he isn't a guy she should be with because he was good looking and/or popular lol.

I dont know much about woe is me guys but I do know many good men who got rejected and dissed by women and only got noticed once a woman gave him a chance lol.

 

[mamba]

I've seen no videos on Youtube in which Black women teach other Black women how to choose better mates.

That would be worthwhile.

@Queen , you may want to start a Youtube channel dedicated to that topic.

 

[bcrusaderw]

I've seen no videos on Youtube in which Black women teach other Black women how to choose better mates.

That would be worthwhile.

@Queen , you may want to start a Youtube channel dedicated to that topic.

First the better mates would have to appear.

 

[mamba]

First the better mates would have to appear.

They are already out there.

They've always been out there.

There is no shortage of good Black men. Problem is every Black woman thinks she deserves a good man. When, in reality, not every Black woman is a good woman and is not a match for a good man.

 

[bcrusaderw]

They are already out there.

They've always been out there.

There is no shortage of good Black men. Problem is every Black woman thinks she deserves a good man. When, in reality, not every Black woman is a good woman and is not a match for a good man.

 

[Elle Driver]

They are already out there.

They've always been out there.

There is no shortage of good Black men. Problem is every Black woman thinks she deserves a good man. When, in reality, not every Black woman is a good woman and is not a match for a good man.

You're ridiculous.

 

[mamba]

You're ridiculous.

What do you find ridiculous about it?