Is Fatherlessness A Black Women's Problem, or A Black Males' Problem?

[Elle Driver]

Basically 40 dollars everytime i fukk

You going raw each time?

 

[Queen]

Honestly, a lot of black women do not even think about the man being father material. I personally don't enter a relationship with a man that I don't see as father or husband material. I also choose not to get pregnant by a woman that I am not married to. I could understand 20% of black children being born out of wedlock, but more than 70% that is way too high. A woman has control over who get's her pregnant. A lot of black women have to do better.
Another problem is that there is not a standard of accountability. When a woman knows that nobody will have pity on her for being a single mother, she won't have a support system, she can't use that "I'm a single mother" line, and etc a lot of women will be really careful about who they choose to have kids. When women sit around and tell other women, "Oh he ain't a good man. You can raise this child on your own", "Oh he needs to stop up to the plate", "Oh he needs to pay his child support and be a real man, and etc that plants the seed for victimhood. That is part of the reason why there are black women with multiple kids out of wedlock. There is absolutely no accountability. These women should be told, "Why do you have multiple kids out wedlock?", "Why are you ALLOWING yourself to get pregnant by different men", "Why aren't you respecting your body and waiting until you are married to have kids", and etc.....

 

[agnosticlady]

keep thinking...That's a typo I meant man. Please explain to me how I can get pregnant by another woman.

 

[Queen]

keep thinking...That's a typo I meant man. Please explain to me how I can get pregnant by another woman.

 

[agnosticlady]

Have a nice night. When a black woman speaks on the issues in the black community it's a problem. Oh, well I don't care.

 

[Playa With Tha Passport]

You going raw each time?

Yea

3 kids

 

[mamba]

Honestly, a lot of black women do not even think about the man being father material. I personally don't enter a relationship with a man that I don't see as father or husband material. I also choose not to get pregnant by a woman that I am not married to. I could understand 20% of black children being born out of wedlock, but more than 70% that is way too high. A woman has control over who get's her pregnant. A lot of black women have to do better.
Another problem is that there is not a standard of accountability. When a woman knows that nobody will have pity on her for being a single mother, she won't have a support system, she can't use that "I'm a single mother" line, and etc a lot of women will be really careful about who they choose to have kids. When women sit around and tell other women, "Oh he ain't a good man. You can raise this child on your own", "Oh he needs to stop up to the plate", "Oh he needs to pay his child support and be a real man, and etc that plants the seed for victimhood. That is part of the reason why there are black women with multiple kids out of wedlock. There is absolutely no accountability. These women should be told, "Why do you have multiple kids out wedlock?", "Why are you ALLOWING yourself to get pregnant by different men", "Why aren't you respecting your body and waiting until you are married to have kids", and etc.....

In a perfect world, Black women would hold other Black women accountable.

Instead, all they do is have pity parties and bash "evil" Black men sessions.

Also, in a perfect world, we wouldn't have an underdeveloped minds problem. But, the world isn't perfect.

 

[PartyHeart]

We're simply saying the decision to even have the baby and make a no-good nikka a father shouldn't have been made in the first place.

So, the blame isn't 50/50.

There are two scenarios

(1) The deadbeat nikka made a bunch of promises, talking about marriage, having a family, etc. He treats her right and and the relationship is great. The woman gets knocked up and then he bounces.

(2) The deadbeat nikka shows minimal interest in the woman. She's essentially a glorified jumpoff. He never talks about marriage, having a family, a future together, etc. In so many words, he tells her he doesn't want a baby with her. She gets knocked up and carries on with the pregnancy, despite all this information. He bounces.

In scenario (1), the deadbeat nikka shares more than equal blame. That's some snake ass shyt to make all those promises and then bounce.

In scenario (2), the woman shares more than equal blame. She's living some fantasy in her head of trying to convince this nikka to commit via a pregnancy.

Scenario (2) is the more common sequence of events for OoW births in the Black community. Most of these deadbeat nikkas aren't simply flipping the script after the woman gets pregnant. These women know who these nikkas are and their track records.

Nope. Most of these nikkas were pretty clear with their actions, words, track records, etc. that they weren't going to be around for the long haul. Yet, a lot of Black women still proceed with the pregnancy.

That's why they share more than the 50/50 split of blame.

The first problem is that you have your scenarios wrong. Most of these kids are being created out of long term relationships, and the man becomes distant once the relationship is over. He can be around for 5 years but once the split happens he is out, I see it so much. You guys like to create this easy narrative that says the man had thug written on his forehead and the women chose him anyway, but life doesn't operate in such black and white terms, there are various shades of grey.

Another thing, and probably the worst part of this whole thing: the idea that it makes sense to you all that a man who doesn't want kids act completely contradictory to that want by having all types of sex raw and not getting a vasectomy...its mind blowing. The idea that "good" black men find that acceptable and not worth chastising...its not even mind blowing, its despicable. It, justifiably, gives black men the bad name that they claim they don't want.

And do not tell me that you think there is no point to chastising these men because they are worthless, because you all feel the same exact way about black single mothers but you will never hold your tongue on how bad you find their actions. You will never miss the chance to chastise them, so that's how I know your incoming 'b-b-but why bother, they are worthless' argument is bull. You don't have any higher regard for single mothers and in fact you obviously view them worse, yet you definitely do take every opportunity to bother crapping on their actions.

It actually feeds into the point made earlier that you all took so much offense to. There is not an abundance of quality black men. There can't be if this is their mentality overall. Because if even the men who discuss these things and swear up and down they aren't deadbeats look at child creation and child rearing the same way as the deadbeats, what do you really have to look forward to as a woman who has any plans to procreate with a Black man? He will have all types of raw sex with you and then leave when the well known outcome of raw sex results. Or he will leave at a moment's notice after the baby and say you should have seen the signs by my actions, words, and track record.

 

[Lord Vile]

the thread has led me to the conclusion that the black (American) community is slowing dying.

Spoiler

Why do you brehs continue to argue with feminist and trolls

 

[Queen]

The first problem is that you have your scenarios wrong. Most of these kids are being created out of long term relationships, and the man becomes distant once the relationship is over. He can be around for 5 years but once the split happens he is out, I see it so much. You guys like to create this easy narrative that says the man had thug written on his forehead and the women chose him anyway, but life doesn't operate in such black and white terms, there are various shades of grey.

Another thing, and probably the worst part of this whole thing: the idea that it makes sense to you all that a man who doesn't want kids act completely contradictory to that want by having all types of sex raw and not getting a vasectomy...its mind blowing. The idea that "good" black men find that acceptable and not worth chastising...its not even mind blowing, its despicable. It, justifiably, gives black men the bad name that they claim they don't want.

And do not tell me that you think there is no point to chastising these men because they are worthless, because you all feel the same exact way about black single mothers but you will never hold your tongue on how bad you find their actions. You will never miss the chance to chastise them, so that's how I know your incoming 'b-b-but why bother, they are worthless' argument is bull. You don't have any higher regard for single mothers and in fact you obviously view them worse, yet you definitely do take every opportunity to bother crapping on their actions.

It actually feeds into the point made earlier that you all took so much offense to. There is not an abundance of quality black men. There can't be if this is their mentality overall. Because if even the men who discuss these things and swear up and down they aren't deadbeats look at child creation and child rearing the same way as the deadbeats, what do you really have to look forward to as a woman who has any plans to procreate with a Black man? He will have all types of raw sex with you and then leave when the well known outcome of raw sex results. Or he will leave at a moment's notice after the baby and say you should have seen the signs by my actions, words, and track record.

The good black men I know are disgusted by men who leave their children. They have no excuses for deadbeat fathers, they only have harsh words. I have heard many conversations. Some of them involved threats of violence towards the deadbeats.

Don't let the bitter men on here fool you. Just because someone has been rejected a lot, it doesn't mean he is a good guy. They are very few good black men on here. You have to subtract the non black men. Then the trolls. Then the whores. Then the bitter biscuits. But you can recognize the good ones when their posts pop up.

 

[agnosticlady]

The good black men I know are disgusted by men who leave their children. They have no excuses for deadbeat fathers, they only have harsh words. I have heard many conversations. Some of them involved threats of violence towards the deadbeats.

Don't let the bitter men on here fool you. Just because someone has been rejected a lot, it doesn't mean he is a good guy. They are very few good black men on here. You have to subtract the non black men. Then the trolls. Then the whores. Then the bitter biscuits. But you can recognize the good ones when their posts pop up.

Are those good black men also disgusted by the black women who allow a man to get them pregnant before marriage? There are women allowing men to get them pregnant and they haven't even been in a relationship for more than two years. Are they disgusted by the black women who go on and have MORE kids out of wedlock? I can understand being in love at 22, and allowing yourself to get pregnant by a man that hasn't given you his last name yet, but to go on and have MORE kids out of wedlock. Are they disgusted by that? Are they disgusted by the single black mothers who berate their children and emotionally abuse them? Telling their kids that they look just like their fathers, that their fathers aint shyt, and etc. Are they disgusted by that?

 

[Queen]

Are those good black men also disgusted by the black women who allow a man to get them pregnant before marriage? There are women allowing men to get them pregnant and they haven't even been in a relationship for more than two years. Are they disgusted by the black women who go on and have MORE kids out of wedlock? I can understand being in love at 22, and allowing yourself to get pregnant by a man that hasn't given you his last name yet, but to go on and have MORE kids out of wedlock. Are they disgusted by that? Are they disgusted by the single black mothers who berate their children and emotionally abuse them? Telling their kids that they look just like their fathers, that their fathers aint shyt, and etc. Are they disgusted by that?

I have no idea as the conversations were centered around how men need to handle responsibilities and stop leaving their children.

There was an instance when I chimed in and said, "but what about her? Why would she sleep with him without being married?" And the response was that it doesn't matter because a man is supposed to be a man and do the right thing; and that men who leave their kids need their ass kicked. After that, I learned to stay out of these conversations and just listen.

So to the person who I originally quoted, good men do not make excuses for foul behavior. They do hold other men accountable. And apparently they don't sit around blaming women for the irresponsible behavior of men.

 

[agnosticlady]

I have no idea as the conversations were centered around how men need to handle responsibilities and stop leaving their children.

There was an instance when I chimed in and said, "but what about her? Why would she sleep with him without being married?" And the response was that it doesn't matter because a man is supposed to be a man and do the right thing; and that men who leave their kids need their ass kicked. After that, I learned to stay out of these conversations and just listen.

So to the person who I originally quoted, good men do not make excuses for foul behavior. They do hold other men accountable. And apparently they don't sit around blaming women for the irresponsible behavior of men.

So a man who is clearly not meant to be father material is supposed to roll over and become a good father? Why didn't the woman marry a good man and then allow him to get her pregnant?
So the men in your family want to beat down worthless men who were never focused on providing for or protecting their family? So what happens when the woman goes and have MORE kids by different men? Are they going to chase down every worthless man that the woman has a child by? I have come across several women who have more than three kids by 2+ different men.

 

[Queen]

So a man who is clearly not meant to be father material is supposed to roll over and become a good father? Why didn't the woman marry a good man and then allow him to get her pregnant?
So the men in your family want to beat down worthless men who were never focused on providing for or protecting their family? So what happens when the woman goes and have MORE kids by different men? Are they going to chase down every worthless man that the woman has a child by? I have come across several women who have more than three kids by 2+ different men.

It doesn't matter what your preferences are. If you have a kid, then get over yourself and do the right thing. If you want to be a loser, you should have thought about that before impregnating someone. That is what I learned from these discussions.

These men were not all related to me, but they were all in agreement that men need to deal with scumbags in only a way that other men can. That didn't involve anyone in relation to me, so I didn't care. But it was refreshing to hear such a sense of honor and lack of cowardice.

No, I did not hear anyone blaming women. Not when it was just hypothetical discussions about deadbeats in general, and not down the line when they were actually talking about a real scenario. They didn't blame women because they think that men need to be responsible for any children they create.

 

[PartyHeart]

The good black men I know are disgusted by men who leave their children. They have no excuses for deadbeat fathers, they only have harsh words. I have heard many conversations. Some of them involved threats of violence towards the deadbeats.

Don't let the bitter men on here fool you. Just because someone has been rejected a lot, it doesn't mean he is a good guy. They are very few good black men on here. You have to subtract the non black men. Then the trolls. Then the whores. Then the bitter biscuits. But you can recognize the good ones when their posts pop up.

Oh no I know that. I'm taking specifically to and about coli men. They spend all day on here talking bad about "Treyvathian" and call other black men thugs and deadbeats. But when it comes to child rearing and creating, they think exactly the same way as those men. A black woman would end up just as much of a single mother dealing with them and their self hatred as they would dealing with the men they claim they are better than.