Is Fatherlessness A Black Women's Problem, or A Black Males' Problem?

[mamba]

You say that like they shouldn't have been

Of course the deadbeats should.

In addition, the dumb Black women who laid up with them should also be shamed for it.

 

[Tropical Fantasy]

You say that like they shouldn't have been

black men have received & accepted the brunt of the blame when it comes to fatherlessness in the black community

but the ones placing all the blame on black men conveniently forget basic biology when making their arguments; it takes two to reproduce

at the end of the day, women hold the keys to their vagina. unless the man raped you, you really have no excuse.

we are just saying that black women need to stop defending these nothing ass bytches that allow these nothing ass nikkas to impregnate them

black men shame both parties, black women shame black men and do their best to deflect blame from the woman


side note: peep that perfect semicolon usage

 

[PartyHeart]

well black isn't an ethnicity, so no.

You will deal.

black men have received & accepted the brunt of the blame when it comes to fatherlessness in the black community

but the ones placing all the blame on black men conveniently forget basic biology when making their arguments; it takes two to reproduce

at the end of the day, women hold the keys to their vagina. unless the man raped you, you really have no excuse.

we are just saying that black women need to stop defending these nothing ass bytches that allow these nothing ass nikkas to impregnate them

black men shame both parties, black women shame black men and do their best to deflect blame from the woman


side note: peep that perfect semicolon usage

All that's true, in regards to it taking 2 to make the baby. But I think the disconnect happens in weighting the blame. You all try to weigh it more (or entirely, I dunno where you are getting that you all shame both parties ) on women because women carry the baby. While, to me, it makes no sense whatsoever to shame the one who stays around to raise the child more or even shame them to the same degree as the one who leaves.

Also, the usage was aiight

 

[mamba]

All that's true, in regards to it taking 2 to make the baby. But I think the disconnect happens in weighting the blame. You all try to weigh it more (or entirely, I dunno where you are getting that you all shame both parties ) on women because women carry the baby. While, to me, it makes no sense whatsoever to shame the one who stays around to raise the child more or even shame them to the same degree as the one who leaves.

Also, the usage was aiight

We're simply saying the decision to even have the baby and make a no-good nikka a father shouldn't have been made in the first place.

So, the blame isn't 50/50.

There are two scenarios

(1) The deadbeat nikka made a bunch of promises, talking about marriage, having a family, etc. He treats her right and and the relationship is great. The woman gets knocked up and then he bounces.

(2) The deadbeat nikka shows minimal interest in the woman. She's essentially a glorified jumpoff. He never talks about marriage, having a family, a future together, etc. In so many words, he tells her he doesn't want a baby with her. She gets knocked up and carries on with the pregnancy, despite all this information. He bounces.

In scenario (1), the deadbeat nikka shares more than equal blame. That's some snake ass shyt to make all those promises and then bounce.

In scenario (2), the woman shares more than equal blame. She's living some fantasy in her head of trying to convince this nikka to commit via a pregnancy.

Scenario (2) is the more common sequence of events for OoW births in the Black community. Most of these deadbeat nikkas aren't simply flipping the script after the woman gets pregnant. These women know who these nikkas are and their track records.

Nope. Most of these nikkas were pretty clear with their actions, words, track records, etc. that they weren't going to be around for the long haul. Yet, a lot of Black women still proceed with the pregnancy.

That's why they share more than the 50/50 split of blame.

 

[MikelArteta]

We're simply saying the decision to even have the baby and make a no-good nikka a father shouldn't have been made in the first place.

So, the blame isn't 50/50.

There are two scenarios

(1) The deadbeat nikka made a bunch of promises, talking about marriage, having a family, etc. He treats her right and and the relationship is great. The woman gets knocked up and then he bounces.

(2) The deadbeat nikka shows minimal interest in the woman. She's essentially a glorified jumpoff. He never talks about marriage, having a family, a future together, etc. In so many words, he tells her he doesn't want a baby with her. She gets knocked up and carries on with the pregnancy, despite all this information. He bounces.

In scenario (1), the deadbeat nikka shares more than equal blame. That's some snake ass shyt to make all those promises and then bounce.

In scenario (2), the woman shares more than equal blame. She's living some fantasy in her head of trying to convince this nikka to commit via a pregnancy.

Scenario (2) is the more common sequence of events for OoW births in the Black community. Most of these deadbeat nikkas aren't simply flipping the script after the woman gets pregnant. These women know who these nikkas are and their track records.

Nope. Most of these nikkas were pretty clear with their actions, words, track records, etc. that they weren't going to be around for the long haul. Yet, a lot of Black women still proceed with the pregnancy.

That's why they share more than the 50/50 split of blame.

even in scenario one if a woman vetted, if she waited till she got a ring or marriage before a child, or gasp if she even met dudes family.

if a woman met your family goes to family bbqs and all that if she gets knocks up even if im a pos that bounces, you damn well sure my family are going to shame me into looking after my seed.

 

[mamba]

even in scenario one if a woman vetted, if she waited till she got a ring or marriage before a child, or gasp if she even met dudes family.

if a woman met your family goes to family bbqs and all that if she gets knocks up even if im a pos that bounces, you damn well sure my family are going to shame me into looking after my seed.

Very true. If a woman gets close to a man's family, he can never truly go ghost.

Most of these chicks get knocked up before even knowing a nikka's middle name, let alone his family!

 

[agnosticlady]

I am a part of a women private group on Facebook. Some of the fukkery that I see on there is just asinine

"So my guy and I have been together for 4 years we have a 2 yr old together. Im going to have another one in December. But now he is not sure he wants to be a family anymore. He wants to go back to the woman he was dealing with before we meet. She just got a new house because someone left it for her and around 300k. He's not even surw if either of our kids are his now. He dont work aint got no car no driver license not even his own address. But says im a bum and keep taking from the government cause i get foodstamps, WIC and Medicaid. And i only work part time cause our son has a rare heart condition. Boy i tell you who raised these boys into men cause i shocked he acting this way."

Only a few women asked her why she had a child by him. All of the other women are saying, "Put him on child support", "He is so irresponsible. You can't create a family and then just leave", "They don't make good men anymore". I called her out and asked her why did she get pregnant twice by him and she said that I shouldn't throw shade.

Here are some of the comments to her response.

"Everyone needs some form of help once in awhile. The help can be from the government, family, or friends. Let him go. He's not helping to enhance your quality of life. Let him go, file for custody and child support."


"No car, no job, no home, wants to leave you for another woman for money, dogs you out with name calling... Girl I hope you ain't planning on fighting to be with this dude.. Smh, at the quality of some men now-a-days"

"Put his ass out & don't look back. These lil boys make me sick running around here doing grown up things but when shyt gets real they want to be a kid again. I just can't deal & neither should you. He gosta go! Don't set yourself up for failure with this stupid fool. Sorry if my words are harsh but shyt like this makes me have flashbacks."

"Women have been raising kids by themselves since the beginning of time. Find a community men, not boys to help you..family, friends, church, school, and the community. You'll be fine. Be encouraged and have faith"

 

[Playa With Tha Passport]

Guys will do what women allow

So if a guy can be a useless bum
And still get p*ssy and have kids he will do that

If he isnt able to do that to get p*ssy and have kids then he will try to better himself


I dont understand what the misunderstanding is ?

Its simple


We jus gotta deal with reality

 

[mamba]

Guys will do what women allow

So if a guy can be a useless bum
And still get p*ssy and have kids he will do that

If he isnt able to do that to get p*ssy and have kids then he will try to better himself


I dont understand what the misunderstanding is ?

Its simple


We jus gotta deal with reality

Yep. If I could only show up to work one day per week, do a half ass job while there and still get a full paycheck every pay period, I would.

Everyone would!

But, we know our bosses wouldn't tolerate that shyt and we'd be fired soon enough.

Women aren't stupid. They know they have the power to help shape the nature of the Black community.

They have the power to hire. Yet, they'd rather have us believe they're duped in every interview.

nikkas coming to the interview with a resume written in crayon, yet getting hired because he looks good in a suit and smells good. Black women and their screening process in a nutshell.

 

[mamba]

I am a part of a women private group on Facebook. Some of the fukkery that I see on there is just asinine

"So my guy and I have been together for 4 years we have a 2 yr old together. Im going to have another one in December. But now he is not sure he wants to be a family anymore. He wants to go back to the woman he was dealing with before we meet. She just got a new house because someone left it for her and around 300k. He's not even surw if either of our kids are his now. He dont work aint got no car no driver license not even his own address. But says im a bum and keep taking from the government cause i get foodstamps, WIC and Medicaid. And i only work part time cause our son has a rare heart condition. Boy i tell you who raised these boys into men cause i shocked he acting this way."

Only a few women asked her why she had a child by him. All of the other women are saying, "Put him on child support", "He is so irresponsible. You can't create a family and then just leave", "They don't make good men anymore". I called her out and asked her why did she get pregnant twice by him and she said that I shouldn't throw shade.

Here are some of the comments to her response.

"Everyone needs some form of help once in awhile. The help can be from the government, family, or friends. Let him go. He's not helping to enhance your quality of life. Let him go, file for custody and child support."


"No car, no job, no home, wants to leave you for another woman for money, dogs you out with name calling... Girl I hope you ain't planning on fighting to be with this dude.. Smh, at the quality of some men now-a-days"

"Put his ass out & don't look back. These lil boys make me sick running around here doing grown up things but when shyt gets real they want to be a kid again. I just can't deal & neither should you. He gosta go! Don't set yourself up for failure with this stupid fool. Sorry if my words are harsh but shyt like this makes me have flashbacks."

"Women have been raising kids by themselves since the beginning of time. Find a community men, not boys to help you..family, friends, church, school, and the community. You'll be fine. Be encouraged and have faith"

And people want to suggest that a significant portion of Black American women don't have underdeveloped minds!

@Emperor_ReinScarf , check this out, breh.

This is another example of a woman being frustrated by a nikka who can't get right and then questioning the capabilities of all Black men.

Have two babies by a bum, brehettes.

 

[agnosticlady]

And people want to suggest that a significant portion of Black American women don't have underdeveloped minds!

@Emperor_ReinScarf , check this out, breh.

This is another example of a woman being frustrated by a nikka who can't get right and then questioning the capabilities of all Black men.

Have two babies by a bum, brehettes.

Dude and people think I'm lying. The way women are out here having kids by bad men is sickening. I was shut down and told not to judge. It's sad because a lot of kids are affected. I'm going out but I'll post more of the fukkery to give an idea of what a lot of women do.

 

[agnosticlady]

@mamba look at this one

I normally don't put my business on Facebook book I don't have the money for a counselor so I'm going to use you guys right now..... To make a long story short I've been with my husband for 12 years but married for 5 out the 12. Ever since we been together it's been hard for him to not only obtain a job but also keep the job. When he has a job his check is are up by child support due to him having kids before we got together. The state takes 60 percent of the gross pay, then you know taxes take 8 percent then the rest is his which isn't much because again he can only go for a simple job due to him not having a GED not having a good job history.... When he feels like he don't want to work anymore or start to dislike his job I noticed he would get fired coincidentally..... He never got me a ring, he can't and don't take me anywhere (if we go I'm always paying because I always keep a job) or give me anything. I married him due to the fact I got pregnant and decided to try to make it work for my son then ended up pregnant again (LIES.com) real quick so I felt like damaged goods and felt like no one would want me with 3 kids and decided to give my kids what I never had (a two parent home).... Since then I have regretted it due to our situation and wish I would have thought about it a little harder..... It bothers me to see my friends husbands taking them places and doing for them and mines cant even take me to mcdonalds.... I'm not trying to sound bitter but am I wrong for wanting more?? Am I wrong for honking of a divorce?? I'm just tired of doing stuff alone or being the third wheel cause my husband either can't go or I don't feel like paying for us both...... I can say we did separate due to me being fed up and all he did was antagonize me and make me feel guilty for leaving and kept telling me I was breaking up my family for a guy.... He just couldn't understand he was the reason..... What would you guys do in this situation

 

[agnosticlady]

Since the beginning of high school there has only been one guy but he has never truly been mine. I've never been so insecure in my life but lately all I find myself doing is crying myself to sleep. I feel like I need closure but something tells me I'm never going to get it. But then again this could all just be pregnancy hormones and I should probably just get out of my feelings. That's what I want to tell myself but my heart literally feels like it's breaking and I can't breathe. I just want to stop crying…

Yes she is pregnant by the guy who is never truly hers

 

[agnosticlady]

I told my daughter daddy that she wanted to see him.. That nikka got the nerves to say 375 is enough and take him off Child support in I may come see her. I told that dead beat you don't even pay ur child support in I haven't received shyt since December 2014. In all I ask you was she wanted to spend some time with you..... What a fukking hour or two out ur day.... I washed my hand with his ass.

Why have a kid by him though?

 

[agnosticlady]

@mamba , @Emperor_ReinScarf, @MikeElam23 this one is the crazy one

My best friend and I have been arguing about her lying. She has 4 kids all girls by 2 different fathers. The father's are not really the girls fathers but they take GOOD care of the girls. She's only doing it because the real fathers are deadbeats. (EXCUSES) I keep telling her the truth is going to come out and the girls are going to be the one's who are going to be hurt. My friend keeps saying she's doing nothing wrong. She says I'm just jealous because my children's father is a deadbeat. I'm to the point I am willing to let 20 years of friendship go down the drain.

Here are the comments

"What she said was totally wrong! But she is in her feelings because she knows what she is doing is wrong. Some people have a hard time admitting when they are wrong. But add a friend you can only love her and the girls. If it blows up on her just be there for her. I'm not telling you to condone in the foolishness but just be there for her. As friend we aren't always going to agree as as human beings we aren't always going to do what is right."

"stop speaking on it. You gave her your opinion, leave it at that. She's your best friend, but her own woman. So you have to respect that, & agree to disagree."

"I told my oldest and nothing has changed that's still daddy and son. He's 10. Maybe they afraid that if they tell truth relationship will change kids disrespect who was on their life."

"Let it go. Your moral compass is good, but it is her choice to make and it can be a bad one. Instead, pray that when the situation is revealed that the men will love the girls enough to continue to be fathers to them."

"I'm sorry, but its not your call. Like you said those men are taking good care of those girls. Girls NEED fathers like that, especially in the times that we are living in. Let their family be. I wish I had a current, or ex, like that in my daughter's life...or even in my son's life while he WS growing up. The more love a child has the better. It doesn't matter whose blood is running through their veins."

"Ok my situation is the same as your friend i had twins they daddy is a deadbeat i met my youngest daughter daddy when my twins was 6 months my twins thought that was there dad since they real daddy never came around never call to check on them im like hell y tell them 10year went by me n him had our youngest twins still didnt know so 2 year ago when he got sick i decide to tell my twins the trust took to met him n they wanted nothing to do with him...My youngest daughter dad pass... My point is it not who Father the child anybody can make a baby it take a real man to raise another man child like his own....If u ask my twins there dad name no matter what the birth certificate say they will say my younger grandma,Auntie of my youngest when they pick my kids up they get all they all call her grandma n Auntie...."