If you marry a woman without her completing a 1 year probationary period consisting of...

[ThumpDaddy]

Damn, I didn't have time to read all of this but this is what me and my wife did. We got engaged and 2 months later my daughter and I moved into her house. We went through all the bills we both got and figured out what was best of who pays what. Also, since my wife works at night (RN) the times she is off she cooks home cooked meals. Homemade Lasagna, Porterhouse Steaks, Lamb, Grilled Chicken Alfredo, and along with all that is all the fixings that go with it and she cooks enough to last a couple of days. She has helped me out in the past with no hesitation and I have helped her also. To tell you the truth, we hardly argue and she helps raise my daughter even though she doesn't have any biological children of her own. Pretty good lady and I feel lucky to have her in my life. But I said all that to say this, we moved in together and stayed together for about a year and 2 months before we got married. She was against it at 1st because she's a church-going girl but in the end even she said that it worked out for the best.

 

[KinksandCoils]

It also wasn't traditional for women to be able to jerk men around in the legal system. Just like women might carry a whistle or not walk alone at night, a man must make a woman work that ring since it puts a man at risk.

A woman can be at risk as well. You are making it seem like it's completely impossible for the woman to get shytted on even though most of the time it's a man. Either way you must choose your mate wisely.

 

[Darts]

Securing the house with alarms is but a phone call away, a phone call anyone can make and that is only required to be made once. Having a gun in the house...ok, if you call that protection. But how often will you be wielding that gun to fend from intruders or protect from predators? Nightly? Once every other day? And in comparison to how often you have to cook for and clean your home?

You dismiss 'protection' as if it is merely just a few clicks away that you do only once and boom you're protected lol. There's physical protection which I mentioned, but more importantly there's emotional protection which generally falls on men. For instance if ur house is broken into or a crime is committed, women would typically be emotionally hit hard and have to rely on male support. A man has to be 'on guard' so to speak both physically and emotionally 24/7 to ensure that his family is safe. It's not just a one off job like you make it seem.

You already acknowledged the biggest chink in this entire argument, and that is that both men and women are working nowadays, and often women earning more. So how often will it be the case that a man can afford to buy a house in a safe neighborhood on his own without the contribution of his wife? How often will it be that a man can afford to entirely finance the lifestyle of himself and his wife plus any children they have without her contribution?

Nobody's denying the wife's contribution or that a man do stuff on their own...where did that even come from? lol

I'm talking about leadership moreso than simply finances. I feel it's on a responsible man to provide leadership when it come to his households finances. This is one of those interchangeable roles depending on who's better...but by default it should be the man's role and a woman should want it to be the man's role.

What is happening is that you guys are expecting women to contribute equally if not more to traditional man's roles, while still expecting your future wives to take on the burden of handling all the traditionally female roles alone the majority of the time. I'm trying to let y'all know that that is nothing any woman or any person wants to sign up for. And even the women that feel enough pressure from society to get married at all costs, after being in that type of a one-sided situation for long enough, they will want out, i.e. divorce. That's what you see happening today.

Nope, in fact most men are too proud or embarrassed to demand that their women contribute more. In this modern society certain functions inevitably have to evolve (men contribute more to cooking/clean, women contribute to finances/security) but at it's core women are nurturers and men are protectors...those are traditional roles that can't change.

Speaking of tradition, would you switch roles with your husband and let him be the nurturer while you be the protector?

It seems women like to twist and mangle "traditional roles" when it's convenient.

 

[Mr. Somebody]

You dismiss 'protection' as if it is merely just a few clicks away that you do only once and boom you're protected lol. There's physical protection which I mentioned, but more importantly there's emotional protection which generally falls on men. For instance if ur house is broken into or a crime is committed, women would typically be emotionally hit hard and have to rely on male support. A man has to be 'on guard' so to speak both physically and emotionally 24/7 to ensure that his family is safe. It's not just a one off job like you make it seem.



Nobody's denying the wife's contribution or that a man do stuff on their own...where did that even come from? lol

I'm talking about leadership moreso than simply finances. I feel it's on a responsible man to provide leadership when it come to his households finances. This is one of those interchangeable roles depending on who's better...but by default it should be the man's role and a woman would want it to be the man's role.




Nope, in fact most men are too proud or embarrassed to demand that their women contribute more. In this modern society certain functions inevitably have to evolve (men contribute more to cooking/clean, women contribute to finances/security) but at it's core women are nurturers and men are protectors...those are traditional roles that can't change.

Speaking of tradition, would you switch roles with your husband and let him be the nurturer while you be the protector?

It seems women like to twist and mangle "traditional roles" when it's convenient.

When the window glass breaks downstairs in the middle of the night and the man says,

*honey, go see what that is*

do you think shes going to grab a bat like and go down those steps ?

or look at him like and tell him to be a man


More then likely, if her man wont go she'll grab a phone and call 911 to reach a man that will.

Its so demonic, friend.

 

[devizelle]

I'm talking about leadership moreso than simply finances. I feel it's on a responsible man to provide leadership when it come to his households finances. This is one of those interchangeable roles depending on who's better...but by default it should be the man's role and a woman would want it to be the man's role.

I agree to this to a certain extent but I feel like you're getting too stuck on roles.

Speaking of tradition, would you switch roles with your husband and let him be the nurturer while you be the protector?

It seems women like to twist and mangle "traditional roles" when it's convenient.

See... and then you take it too far. People and relationships are so much more complex than "nurturer" and "protector." I don't think you need to classify one person as the nurturer and another as the protector... a relationship is a team. You work together to give the other what they need and vice versa. So YES, if my husband needed me to be "the protector" (whatever the hell that means) I'd do it! I wouldn't just say, "Um, sorry this doesn't fit into traditional gender roles so... I can't do it. " WTF kind of relationship is that?

As for twisting and mangling traditional roles... it's 2013. Some women work outside of the home, and/or make more money than their husbands, and some men cook dinner and clean the house. Gender roles are a (sometimes dangerous and damaging) human construct; we don't have to follow them.

 

[IAmGettingAMailOrderBride]

My mail order bride got me covered

 

[Batman]

My mail order bride got me covered

Imma get me one from Thailand.

 

[Nintendough]

A woman can be at risk as well. You are making it seem like it's completely impossible for the woman to get shytted on even though most of the time it's a man. Either way you must choose your mate wisely.

What risk? Breaking your nail while dialing 911 when you want get the cops on your man because he pissed you off and fake crying so that they believe he put hands on you?



The risk of having joint custody and losing out on child support aka nail, hair and momma's night out funding?

 

[KinksandCoils]

What risk? Breaking your nail while dialing 911 when you want get the cops on your man because he pissed you off and fake crying so that they believe he put hands on you?



The risk of having joint custody and losing out on child support aka nail, hair and momma's night out funding?

So you really think what you said could be the only problem a woman has


I'm not even going to waste my time. I see how you view women.

 

[Nintendough]

So you really think what you said could be the only problem a woman has


I'm not even going to waste my time. I see how you view women.

I think women are beautiful gifts that we as men should be thankful for. I'm simply saying men have to take more precautions.

 

[StickStickly]

He married a white girl....don't even give me the BS excuse of he fell in love with her and all that nonsense.....he married her because most black women are not suitable marriageable partners. They refuse to submit( yes I said submit).

get at me.

Most of you fools grew up in single parents home so u can't relate to a woman catering to a man.

Whatever black woman you say you will marry you will emotionally abuse. Seriously are you a troll or do you really feel this way?

Are any of the women you date on medication?

 

[Chris.B]

Whatever black woman you say you will marry you will emotionally abuse. Seriously are you a troll or do you really feel this way?

Are any of the women you date on medication?

I said most black women...I didn't say all

 

[innocentdevil]

I don't plan on ever living with a man unless we're married.

I'm really considering doing this myself, but there are many benefits to cohabitation.

 

[Darts]

See... and then you take it too far. People and relationships are so much more complex than "nurturer" and "protector." I don't think you need to classify one person as the nurturer and another as the protector... a relationship is a team.

Socially and psychologically we may be very complex but biologically we're not that complex at all and our roles are defined naturally. Women nurture a child in her womb during pregnancy and then afterwards during infancy with breast feeding etc. A woman's instincts/thought process is geared towards caring for her child hence she's the natural "nurturer". Men on average are more physical hence they are the natural "protectors". Because we are smart creatures, we can evolve and switch up our roles every now and then... but biologically our roles are already defined .

You work together to give the other what they need and vice versa. So YES, if my husband needed me to be "the protector" (whatever the hell that means) I'd do it! I wouldn't just say, "Um, sorry this doesn't fit into traditional gender roles so... I can't do it. " WTF kind of relationship is that?

This was a telling admission lol, you and @PartyHeart both showed that you don't quite understand what it means. Let's chalk this up to one of those things that the opposite gender can never feel/understand.

As for twisting and mangling traditional roles... it's 2013. Some women work outside of the home, and/or make more money than their husbands, and some men cook dinner and clean the house. Gender roles are a (sometimes dangerous and damaging) human construct; we don't have to follow them.

lol this is easy to say...until y'all need the yard cleaned or that heavy furniture moved, or paying for dates, or making the first move etc etc etc.

 

[Chris.B]

Damn, I didn't have time to read all of this but this is what me and my wife did. We got engaged and 2 months later my daughter and I moved into her house. We went through all the bills we both got and figured out what was best of who pays what. Also, since my wife works at night (RN) the times she is off she cooks home cooked meals. Homemade Lasagna, Porterhouse Steaks, Lamb, Grilled Chicken Alfredo, and along with all that is all the fixings that go with it and she cooks enough to last a couple of days. She has helped me out in the past with no hesitation and I have helped her also. To tell you the truth, we hardly argue and she helps raise my daughter even though she doesn't have any biological children of her own. Pretty good lady and I feel lucky to have her in my life. But I said all that to say this, we moved in together and stayed together for about a year and 2 months before we got married. She was against it at 1st because she's a church-going girl but in the end even she said that it worked out for the best.

my mans found himself a keeper