I Wanna Deprive My Father of A Relationship With His Grandson

[JNew]

If you were abused more so emotionally then physically (I doubt your dad would put hands on a child, but you never know), then I can definitely see the hesitation.

A child around an emotionally abusive person can set them up for a lifetime of problems. Just look at these mothers who curse or yell at their child in public, I’m sure they turn out to be shinning teens/adults.

It can be sutle but an adult who is constantly telling a child he is doing wrong and in return never act knowledging his good is emotionally abuse.

If you never had a good relationship with your father you need to figure out was it him or you. Just cause he clothed and sheltered you (the bare minimum) doesn’t mean you owe him anything.

Would I give him a chance, yes but like I said if he is abusive, you don’t owe him anything. And if he is abusive you need to educate your son on it so he knows better.

 

[Contrefaire]

Sometimes the grandparent knows they "fukked up" with you so they will treat the granchild 100% different (usually better) than you.

I wouldn't deprive 100% out the gate, but I would make sure I'm in the room the majority of the time.

They may end up having a great relationship, that you would get in the way of.

Just be ready for your emotions because you see them having a better relationship than you had.

I told my dad I want kids and he was excited imaging himself taking my kid to Martial Arts classes and stuff. Things of course he never did with me.

This was my dad's dad to a tee. It wasn't until I was in my late teens that I found out my grandpa was an extremely abusive alcoholic vet who terrorized my dad and his siblings + my grandma for most of their lives. To me, he was Pawpaw and he was great. I was the apple of his eye, first and only grandkid, fishing buddy, etc.

My father struggled with this a lot because the man I knew and the man he grew up with were basically two different people. He knew the man who got drunk and beat him with a bicycle for being too loud while playing outside meanwhile I knew a gentle old man who patiently taught me the most humane way to kill a bigmouth bass.

Now that I'm older and we've talked about it I know my dad never kept me away from him, but he definitely went through a period of resentment or feeling like why should I let you get a chance at a do-over when you spent decades fukking me up?

 

[tuckgod]

Let me ask ya'll in all sincerity

Would you consider consist emotional neglect and purposeful emasculation as a sign of abuse?

Not little jokes, but consistent and constant putting of someone down when they make a mistake and downplaying when they succeeded?

I had the same feelings about my mom and how she raised me and I barely speak to her now

I never kept my kids from her, I let them have a relationship with her and eventually they made up their own mind about her and my conscious is clear

 

[Diunx]

I would too if I had a kid, my dad is a cocksucker.

 

[O³ (O cubed)]

My father wasn't that close to me growing up but doted on my nephew. The stuff my nephew got away with would get me a clip around the ear.

Spending time with my dad in his last days, he told me about his upbringing. It was so fukked up that I broke down and cried.

I finally understood why he was so distant. I was angry that it took until adulthood for him to tell me. But he was from a different generation where men didn't discuss their feelings.

In your case let your boy visit your dad, with you there. It may bring you and your dad closer as well

 

[SupaHotIce]

If you act the same way you do on thecoli, I don't blame him for being distant with you

 

[Apollo Creed]

People like OP will never understand.

I just wish I could have had one adult conversation with my father.

He was mostly absent and he was just passing thru when I did lay eyes on him. He died when I was 15 but I prolly hadn't spoken a word to him since I was like 9.

What you're describing sounds like paradise in comparison.

The relationship between your son and father is important for them both and how you feel is not that important in the scheme of it all.

These nikkas are pathetic tbh.

All this nikka @RickyDiBiase does is flood TLR with threada bytching and crying like a hoe. nikka get a therapist dear diary ass nikka

 

[Apollo Creed]

If you act the same way you do on thecoli, I don't blame him for being distant with you

I woulda took that bytch ass nikka to the courthouse to change his name from mine

 

[maxamusa]

OP you realize you're hurting your son the most right?


if you weren't physically/sexually abused grow TF up.

 

[UpNext]

he's not a man of any measurable character, I've tried for years

When I graduated from military school
when I got into the army
when I got out of the army
When I started my business

That's a period of almost 20 years where I've tried to be the bigger man and got nothing but bullshyt and somebody playing in my fukking face time after time again.

This fakkit literally tried to file for an order of protection against me because I purchased three firearms over a two year period, because he thought I was gonna come after him.

Let me repeat this like Umar Johnson
My father has never deprived me that I would ever even entertain such a ridiculous notion.
My father has never deprived me that I would ever even entertain such a ridiculous notion.
My father has never deprived me that I would ever even entertain such a ridiculous notion.

It's not fukking fair that I get treated like a fukking leper because he's now afraid of me based on some unfounded ass reason (not that I even mind at this point) but the fact it needs to be water under the bridge for his grandson, that let me reiterate, he wasn't even all that gung ho about when he was born?

I'm not trying to come off like I'm looking for validation, but how does that seem right?

Yeah we definitely are gonna need to hear his side of the story breh. This doesn't just manifest from nowhere.

 

[RickyDiBiase]

These nikkas are pathetic tbh.

All this nikka @RickyDiBiase does is flood TLR with threada bytching and crying like a hoe. nikka get a therapist dear diary ass nikka

I could just fukk you up if you wanna take it there

 

[RickyDiBiase]

OP you realize you're hurting your son the most right?


if you weren't physically/sexually abused grow TF up.

I’m guessing you skipped over the part where I said he was indifferent when he was born.

 

[maxamusa]

I’m guessing you skipped over the part where I said he was indifferent when he was born.

my story far from a Pixar movie. my perception has changed a lot the older I've become. lyfe is hard. people aint shyt. but people people. we all make mistakes.

like I stated unless you were abused in any fashion its not worth it to deprive your grandson. you can still keep your resentment n hate close; but sometime s we make sacrifices for the sake of our seeds. you don't have to build a relationship yourself but don't rob your kid.

 

[Ray D’Angelo Harris]

OP the same poster who admitted he lied about his mother being raped. Let that sink in for a minute.

 

[MeachTheMonster]

I wouldn’t do it out of spite, but you should protect your son and not let your father hurt him like he did you.