I Wanna Deprive My Father of A Relationship With His Grandson

[ThatTruth777]

No man is perfect, we're all a work in progress.

 

[RickyDiBiase]

OP
Since you put it out there, you have go work through the pettiness and vindictiveness. You control the amount of access your son and father gave with each other.
He needs to know who and where he comes from, and both of your parents are part of those roots.

"Depriving" him sounds like you think you 're "getting back" at your father. You're not, and the notion of doing that is an emotional response that shows the level of hurt you carry around. He's your Father, so you naturally still seek his validation. And you seemed to be even more upset that he had a different response to your sister's news vs yours.

You're not going to be able to resolve issues with your father, so just limit the amount of time your bring your child around him. But he needs to know who his people are.

That is the ultimate question I would ask. Did your father abuse you? You may not liked the way you were raised, but you do not have to worry about that with your child, because it is your job to raise the child. It is the job of the grandparents to give advise and spoil the grandchild. So if your father is not abusive, then I think you may be letting a bit of your anger to hinder you from seeing the possible benefits your child may receive from doting grandparents.

Still, in the end the decision is ultimately yours (collectively you and the mother that is).

Let me ask ya'll in all sincerity

Would you consider consist emotional neglect and purposeful emasculation as a sign of abuse?

Not little jokes, but consistent and constant putting of someone down when they make a mistake and downplaying when they succeeded?

OP doesn't have boundaries. If he did he wouldn't be flooding this board full of strangers with threads about how much he hates his father, and what he can do to hurt him.

boundaries require decorum, The fact you can't tell the difference isn't shocking at all...

It's not like I put his full name out there.

 

[F*ckthemkids]

Let me ask ya'll in all sincerity

Would you consider consist emotional neglect and purposeful emasculation as a sign of abuse?

Not little jokes, but consistent and constant putting of someone down when they make a mistake and downplaying when they succeeded?



It's not like I put his full name out there.

Breh in all honesty...Have you ever forced your old man to confront the issues you have with him? Because if you pull some passive aggressive shyt like this it's just going to blow up in your face. He will be reaffirmed that he kept you in the right place, and your son will grow to resent you. If this isn't some elaborate troll job, you really need to put your cards on the table. At least then you can make a decision based on how he approaches and reacts to your concerns.

 

[RickyDiBiase]

Breh in all honesty...Have you ever forced your old man to confront the issues you have with him? Because if you pull some passive aggressive shyt like this it's just going to blow up in your face. He will be reaffirmed that he kept you in the right place, and your son will grow to resent you. If this isn't some elaborate troll job, you really need to put your cards on the table. At least then you can make a decision based on how he approaches and reacts to your concerns.

he's not a man of any measurable character, I've tried for years

When I graduated from military school
when I got into the army
when I got out of the army
When I started my business

That's a period of almost 20 years where I've tried to be the bigger man and got nothing but bullshyt and somebody playing in my fukking face time after time again.

This fakkit literally tried to file for an order of protection against me because I purchased three firearms over a two year period, because he thought I was gonna come after him.

Let me repeat this like Umar Johnson
My father has never deprived me that I would ever even entertain such a ridiculous notion.
My father has never deprived me that I would ever even entertain such a ridiculous notion.
My father has never deprived me that I would ever even entertain such a ridiculous notion.

It's not fukking fair that I get treated like a fukking leper because he's now afraid of me based on some unfounded ass reason (not that I even mind at this point) but the fact it needs to be water under the bridge for his grandson, that let me reiterate, he wasn't even all that gung ho about when he was born?

I'm not trying to come off like I'm looking for validation, but how does that seem right?

 

[Orbital-Fetus]

I smell what OP is cooking and I like it. Fill that kids head with lies and half truths about his grandfather. Get creative with that shyt.

 

[F*ckthemkids]

he's not a man of any measurable character, I've tried for years

When I graduated from military school
when I got into the army
when I got out of the army
When I started my business

That's a period of almost 20 years where I've tried to be the bigger man and got nothing but bullshyt and somebody playing in my fukking face time after time again.

This fakkit literally tried to file for an order of protection against me because I purchased three firearms over a two year period, because he thought I was gonna come after him.

Let me repeat this like Umar Johnson
My father has never deprived me that I would ever even entertain such a ridiculous notion.
My father has never deprived me that I would ever even entertain such a ridiculous notion.
My father has never deprived me that I would ever even entertain such a ridiculous notion.

It's not fukking fair that I get treated like a fukking leper because he's now afraid of me based on some unfounded ass reason (not that I even mind at this point) but the fact it needs to be water under the bridge for his grandson, that let me reiterate, he wasn't even all that gung ho about when he was born?

I'm not trying to come off like I'm looking for validation, but how does that seem right?

It doesn't seem right. It seems like you got a raw deal. How is the relationship between your old man and your son?

 

[F*ckthemkids]

I smell what OP is cooking and I like it. Fill that kids head with lies and half truths about his grandfather. Get creative with that shyt.

you aint shyt

 

[get these nets]

Let me ask ya'll in all sincerity

Would you consider consist emotional neglect and purposeful emasculation as a sign of abuse?

Not little jokes, but consistent and constant putting of someone down when they make a mistake and downplaying when they succeeded?



It's not like I put his full name out there.

I am not downplaying the abuse and neglect that you received from your father.
Nor am I advising you to "get over it."

I'm saying that even a limited relationship with his grandfather will help your son long term. So, he needs to know who that man is.

 

[RickyDiBiase]

It doesn't seem right. It seems like you got a raw deal. How is the relationship between your old man and your son?

We live not even 10 minutes away from each other.

When we were at the hospital

my Uncle was there, even my knucklehead cousin who always in trouble or locked up made sure he came through. When we brought him home, everyone was there except him.

But now, every time I talk with my mama about anything I get the "Ricky, when you gonna bring... over". Mind you breh, he did NOT act like this when my sister had her kids at all, he was there from day one.

 

[DonRe]

To even have a father and bot be abusive in anyway, is a plus.

He seems like a regular, probably emotionally deprived or devoid, man

I will say grandparents are completely different ppl to thier grandkids.

In my expereince, my father was never there or available. Saw him once or twice a yr while living 10 blocks away.

Now he wants to call my kids everyday and see them. What can do you do? He dont touch my kids (im there everytime) he dont yell or get crazy. Hes loving and concerned.

Wild writing it. But its life. Give him a chance. Maybe let him know what he can do to at least be a great grandfather, when he failed fatherhood.

Dont just burn it down yet.

 

[F*ckthemkids]

We live not even 10 minutes away from each other.

When we were at the hospital

my Uncle was there, even my knucklehead cousin who always in trouble or locked up made sure he came through. When we brought him home, everyone was there except him.

But now, every time I talk with my mama about anything I get the "Ricky, when you gonna bring... over". Mind you breh, he did NOT act like this when my sister had her kids at all, he was there from day one.

You know what breh...I apologize. It seems like over the years you've tried to build a bridge and create a relationship, but you just keep getting slapped down. A person can only try so much. My only suggestion would be separate yourself, but don't pull the rug out. It's just going to cause even bigger, unintended issues.

 

[ThrobbingHood]

“My father gave me food, shelter and values but he never hugged me!!! fukk him!!!!”

You unhinged mental midget.

 

[Uachet]

Your experience is through your own lense, and I can't deny you that. So if you say he was emotionally abusive and neglectful, then you have a good reason to not allow your child to be around him alone at all if you fear he will do the same to your son. That is your child, and it is your responsibility to raise him up right and perhaps in a better manner than your father raised you.

Still my answer to your question would be if all I experienced was what you stated, then he would get to see the child only in my presence. His dysfunctional relationship with you may not be evident with your son, especially if you are there to do your duty as your son's protector. If he does slip up, then you will have all the evidence you need that he is incorrigible even when it comes to your son, and leave him completely out the loop.

Again, it is you and the mother's decision, not anyone else's. Once you make it, just be ready to defend it when it comes to family and explain it to your son when he is mature enough to understand (If you decide to purposefully estrange your father from his life).

 

[RickyDiBiase]

“My father gave me food, shelter and values but he never hugged me!!! fukk him!!!!”

You unhinged mental midget.

You know, this is one of those instances where I can tell deep down you're actually a shytty, borderline sadist/sociopathic, serpent of a person.

But you and I both know deep down, you're another bytch hiding behind a keyboard ass nikka that doesn't like to make eye contact out your own insecurities.

You know what breh...I apologize. It seems like over the years you've tried to build a bridge and create a relationship, but you just keep getting slapped down. A person can only try so much. My only suggestion would be separate yourself, but don't pull the rug out. It's just going to cause even bigger, unintended issues.

I appreciate this breh. I really do. Same for nets and the Utatchet breh as well. I really value ya'll input.

 

[Remote]

I’m not going to tell you that you need to keep that man around your kids.

You’re raising your child.
You choose who you want him exposed to.

I’m not you. I don’t have your experiences.

And everyone else who didn’t deal with that man is out of line for telling you that you ought to include him.