its in the best format in which i exchanged emails with a corresponding professor. just wanted to share with the board, for a read, for a glimpse onto my life, and the experience of a black man at the Bill Cosby
College of Education here at UMass. read the exchange in entirety.
Prelude. The professors first message to me, 1pm(est) today.
I am so very sorry that I have to relay this news to you over e-mail, but I wanted to let you know that Lenny passed away on Thursday the 26th. It was sudden and a surprise. There will be a memorial service for him this Monday. He was so proud of you and all that you accomplished. I remember that he was so delighted that you aced the praxis and even more delighted when you got into UMASS!He is going to be greatly missed-- a deep loss for us all.Again, I am so sorry to have to pass on such news. I hope that things are going well for you in your new program. When you get a chance, please let me know how you're doing and how things are going.Take Care,
my response. where the story for me initially starts. it not chronological, but neither was the godfather 2 lol. life sometimes is not chronological!
this hits me with a heavy heart. i have something to share with you, and the history circle up there, but also since i cant come, i want to share what Prof. Macaluso did for me as a mentor. i want it read because my experience is so personally his personality! he truly was colorblind, and was the first to judge me on the merit of my work. he gave me a chance that led to the fruition of today, UMass, research assistant. he judged me by my merit. i encountered this a lot with my workings with the USA history dept, the humanities building, and Dr. Kern Jackson, Dr. Nicole Carr, and Dr. Dorothy Mollise. But i took a liking to Dr. Macaluso because he was a practioner, and he delved deeply intoi his French. I took his French Revolution class, but man, he focused on the French philosophes in Western civ! Working under him as a supplemental instructor, students were turned off by his love for history. the love for history was deep in him, and i observed that from his teaching habits. i was in there to tutor, but i ended up learning many teaching pedagogies from not only him, but consequentially every professor after that. thats how i learned. if ever taught history, i would want to teach it like him. and i think thats best compliment i can give him, to his face, or through memory. Ashe, and thank you Dr. Mac. Your legacy lives on through me.
those are my thoughts. now let me share with you a crazy experience that i dont mind sharing with my professors down there, but i dont necessarily shared publicly. but i wish and hope the former is read. i never had a biological fathers love, so when i met male role models that took time to help me discover myself, i really thank them. because without him, i dont know where i would be.
im posting this straight from how i did on facebook. the story is the plot, and the comments explain the context and some are responses to questions. for sake of time and clarity, ill only send my comments.
so last night, due to unforseen circumstances, i was stranded in amherst, 20 miles from the house. i needed to go somewhere where i wouldnt be seen as a black man loitering and get arrested, so i spent a good part of the night in a cemetary, feeling sad, lonely, and far away from the comfort of home. today, i find out that my first mentor, Dr. Leonard Macaluso from University of South Alabama passed away literally a day or two ago. a weird, scary, and crazy chain of events. everything happens for a reason. since i grieved last night and didnt know why i couldnt stop crying, today i find out where the pain came from. everything happens for a reason, and God is good. just wanted to share. 100
ok. one response lol. its needed.
(chick)-awwwhh...my condolences .. ..and also..if u ever find urself stranded in Amherst...pls hit me up.... (will inbox u my #)
me n the one response all the rest of the way
me:oh, im good. just sharing a testimony. Trust me, i m good.
me: (to the chick mentioned) na its cool, the situation just fell though, and i had to do what i do. what i look like comin to your door, 1 am in the morning. im sorry, but its only so much i ask for from people. its just a night, its not like its serious.
me:in a hotel tonight. the university lodge, closest to where i was, was full
me:thankfully i was able to hit mike. shout out to mike and olivia. i just know that as a man, I dont like ask much, a man has to have some pride about himself and make it on his own two feet
me:i just think the path of how i was led to the graveyard and come to find out my professor died is creepy. crazy creepy
me:and for clarity, I'm not goin thru anything. i have a weekend seminar this weekend, and i cant make it early enough on the saturday bus schedule. circumstances arose, and henceforth my situation.
me:i deal with situations by talking about them. i keep a lot inside, but sometimes it helps me to talk. i like talk to people, because it will never change how you look at me, i define who i am, and as long as im comfortable in my skin, im making it. with a smile. so when i dont have anyone else to talk to, i talk through here. i took the personality test today in seminar and im an extreme extrovert. go figure lol
coli, lets talk
College of Education here at UMass. read the exchange in entirety.Prelude. The professors first message to me, 1pm(est) today.
I am so very sorry that I have to relay this news to you over e-mail, but I wanted to let you know that Lenny passed away on Thursday the 26th. It was sudden and a surprise. There will be a memorial service for him this Monday. He was so proud of you and all that you accomplished. I remember that he was so delighted that you aced the praxis and even more delighted when you got into UMASS!He is going to be greatly missed-- a deep loss for us all.Again, I am so sorry to have to pass on such news. I hope that things are going well for you in your new program. When you get a chance, please let me know how you're doing and how things are going.Take Care,
my response. where the story for me initially starts. it not chronological, but neither was the godfather 2 lol. life sometimes is not chronological!
this hits me with a heavy heart. i have something to share with you, and the history circle up there, but also since i cant come, i want to share what Prof. Macaluso did for me as a mentor. i want it read because my experience is so personally his personality! he truly was colorblind, and was the first to judge me on the merit of my work. he gave me a chance that led to the fruition of today, UMass, research assistant. he judged me by my merit. i encountered this a lot with my workings with the USA history dept, the humanities building, and Dr. Kern Jackson, Dr. Nicole Carr, and Dr. Dorothy Mollise. But i took a liking to Dr. Macaluso because he was a practioner, and he delved deeply intoi his French. I took his French Revolution class, but man, he focused on the French philosophes in Western civ! Working under him as a supplemental instructor, students were turned off by his love for history. the love for history was deep in him, and i observed that from his teaching habits. i was in there to tutor, but i ended up learning many teaching pedagogies from not only him, but consequentially every professor after that. thats how i learned. if ever taught history, i would want to teach it like him. and i think thats best compliment i can give him, to his face, or through memory. Ashe, and thank you Dr. Mac. Your legacy lives on through me.
those are my thoughts. now let me share with you a crazy experience that i dont mind sharing with my professors down there, but i dont necessarily shared publicly. but i wish and hope the former is read. i never had a biological fathers love, so when i met male role models that took time to help me discover myself, i really thank them. because without him, i dont know where i would be.
im posting this straight from how i did on facebook. the story is the plot, and the comments explain the context and some are responses to questions. for sake of time and clarity, ill only send my comments.
so last night, due to unforseen circumstances, i was stranded in amherst, 20 miles from the house. i needed to go somewhere where i wouldnt be seen as a black man loitering and get arrested, so i spent a good part of the night in a cemetary, feeling sad, lonely, and far away from the comfort of home. today, i find out that my first mentor, Dr. Leonard Macaluso from University of South Alabama passed away literally a day or two ago. a weird, scary, and crazy chain of events. everything happens for a reason. since i grieved last night and didnt know why i couldnt stop crying, today i find out where the pain came from. everything happens for a reason, and God is good. just wanted to share. 100
ok. one response lol. its needed.
(chick)-awwwhh...my condolences .. ..and also..if u ever find urself stranded in Amherst...pls hit me up.... (will inbox u my #)
me n the one response all the rest of the way
me:oh, im good. just sharing a testimony. Trust me, i m good.
me: (to the chick mentioned) na its cool, the situation just fell though, and i had to do what i do. what i look like comin to your door, 1 am in the morning. im sorry, but its only so much i ask for from people. its just a night, its not like its serious.
me:in a hotel tonight. the university lodge, closest to where i was, was full
me:thankfully i was able to hit mike. shout out to mike and olivia. i just know that as a man, I dont like ask much, a man has to have some pride about himself and make it on his own two feet
me:i just think the path of how i was led to the graveyard and come to find out my professor died is creepy. crazy creepy
me:and for clarity, I'm not goin thru anything. i have a weekend seminar this weekend, and i cant make it early enough on the saturday bus schedule. circumstances arose, and henceforth my situation.
me:i deal with situations by talking about them. i keep a lot inside, but sometimes it helps me to talk. i like talk to people, because it will never change how you look at me, i define who i am, and as long as im comfortable in my skin, im making it. with a smile. so when i dont have anyone else to talk to, i talk through here. i took the personality test today in seminar and im an extreme extrovert. go figure lol
coli, lets talk
for recognizing and appreciating that.
.
